Army Fluff The first battle

I have started a lizardmen vs bretonnia campaign with a friend. The first battle went badly, with me not taking lore of metal, my slann getting only one of the spells I wanted and my scar vet on carnosaur somehow managing to get killed by a bret lord who DIDN'T have killing blow - as well as me making a lot of other stupid mistakes. The only unit that actually won a fight was my saurus block, who got charged by a horde of men at arms, tore them to shreds and then chased them off the table while my poor slann was left at the mercy of two units of knights. I decided to make my Saurus unit champion a recurring character for the campaign. Anyway, heres a paragraph of fluff, to be continued;



The battle was going well for the Bretonnians, and they knew it. As their lord drove his lance into the neck of the great reptilian monster before him, a cheer went up amongst the men at arms, and they surged forth as one. A large, swarthy giant of a farmer known as Rowan Crewe led the charge, bellowing obscenities as he aimed his pitchfork at the blue-scaled monster before him...

Texua hissed in annoyance as the primitive weapon gouged his side. He swatted the foul-smelling little ape aside with his shield, and another fell to his mace as its head was turned into a wet crater. More of the warm bloods crashed into the Saurus lines, and soon the air was filled with the smell of blood. Texua growled as the monkey with the pitchfork threw itself at him once more. He grabbed the creature by the throat and closed his jaws around its head, then twisted. It stopped moving, and was tossed aside. The war cry of the peasants died as quickly as it had begun, and they turned to run. All order was lost as the Saurus’ predatory instincts took over, and they charged after their prey, all thought of their sacred duty gone as the blood-lust took over.

 

Pretty cool! Though using some "writing cliches" such as the final line can be an easy mistake that lets it down a little.

 

Yeah the same thought did occur to me lol. I was going to have a line about the hero having a nagging feeling that theres something he should be doing (protecting the poor Slann who was attacked by two units of knights) but couldnt get anything good enough so I got frustrated. I think I'll delete that last line though.

Thanks for the feedback, I really want to get into writing again.

 

Its a shame Rowan didn't make it. He could pop up again with his pitch fork in lots of annoying places. Future episodes could include hiding in haystacks, for example.

I've considered "friending" you, Malebranche. But all I can come up with is an obscene transgender Dryad.

SoB

 

Hahaha yeah not exactly where the name comes from but feel free to use it or my characters as you see fit. I always manage to chuckle like an idiot when I see your work

 

I like to think Rowan ends up on MANY misadventures, such as being enslaved on a Dark Elf galley and being the only survivor of a fierce storm (wait was that Ben-Hur?) being employed in an archeological dig team that uncovers some Tomb Kings, "inheriting" a Tomb Counts castle. etc and so on

 

Lol the only reason I gave him a name was so that people would assume he'd become a major character and be surprised when he died a few sentences later. Seems to have worked too well. Maybe he didn't die after all... though he will be sporting a stylish saurus-tooth crown.

I pictured him as a lowly pig-farmer, but if skinks have a snake god and skaven have a rat god, perhaps Rowan Crewe can be the champion of the peasants' pig god?

 

Dammit I guess it's true what they say about there being no original ideas left. Oh well those are better than anything I would do with the idea anyway.