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Fiction The Mascot

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by thedarkfourth, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    DARK4 STUDIOS PRESENTS
    IN STUNNING FLUFF-AND-STORIES-O-VISION


    XU3.png IS3.png



    Stilted writing
    Hackneyed tropes
    A bunch of feminine pronouns
    IN

    The Mascot

    Directed by Richard Linklater

    Part I: The case of the thieving blade

    “Coming up, we’ll see some of the incredible facilities we have on offer in the high-magic chambers, where we keep some of our most potent artefacts,” chirped the perpetually joyful tour guide, swivelling with a flourish. “But first if you’ll look to your left you’ll see the entrance to the sacred Eternity Chamber. Of course, this holy sanctum is strictly off limits to students, and as you can see it is guarded by the fabulous XU mascot itself, the Chakax! Legend has it that this terrifying warrior was once a living temple guardian, protector of all the Mage Lords who have secluded themselves in contemplation in the Eternity Chamber. This Chakax has never moved as far as anyone knows, but there’s an old tradition that if anyone tries to get into the chamber without permission, it will come to life and chop you in half! Notice the curving part at the bottom of its enormous mace that gleams brightly - students superstitiously rub it on their way into examinations for good luck. OK, moving on, up here we’ll see the…”

    The prospective skink students shuffled nervously away, following the guide down the corridor ahead. But Xuli let their footsteps recede. She remained with the Chakax, staring up at its stupefyingly huge and menacing form, caked in dust, the exquisitely carved key around its neck seeming to emanate terrible power. If it was a statue, the artist had done a breathtaking job. Every line and crevice on the massive warrior’s body suggested power and hostility. It was posed in a position of perpetual readiness, its knees bent poised to leap, one foot a little behind the other, its 8-foot mace held across the body to strike in any direction.

    But the most imposing feature of all was the helm. A gigantic horned skull, cracking with age yet heavy enough to survive the collapse of the entire temple pyramid on top of it, Xuli reckoned, bolted to the warrior’s head with thick screws to prevent any chance of dislodging. She stared into the eye sockets, trying to imagine what sort of mind could once have animated a frame so fearful. She thought she could just glimpse something in the deep shadows of the helm’s sockets, two pools of obsidian depth that were growing to encompass her entire frame of vision. There was something there, something that...gleamed. Xuli inhaled sharply as she thought she saw a tiny flash of movement. She looked again, shaking her head. Then she glanced down the corridor, and ran to catch up with her tour group. The Chakax stayed where it was.

    ***
    “Xuli?”

    “I’m so sorry, what was the question?” she asked, blinking out of a strangely absorbing memory from four years earlier. She leaned forward, studiously paying attention.

    Councillor Flikex sighed. “Look, you’re coming to the end of your time here at Xlanhuapec. I was asking if you have given any thought to what happens if you pass your exam. When you pass.”

    “Right. Yes, I want to apply for the High Temple. And if I don’t get that, something at a local cult perhaps, maybe an administrative role to start with…”

    “You don’t have any interest in becoming a warrior priest?” inquired Flikex. “I know military service is very popular among your spawn-kin.”

    “It’s...it’s not for me.” Xuli stared at the ground. “I’m not brave enough.”

    The councillor peered at her. “I don’t know, Xuli. I think you might just surprise yourself.”

    ***​

    Xuli stepped out of the office building and squinted in the white embrace of direct Lustrian sunlight. Her scales glinted as she twitched from side to side, trying to get a better look at the hundreds of students cheerfully navigating Xlanhuapec University’s central plaza, dominated on its southwestern corner by the splendour of the High Temple itself. Soon she spotted some familiar faces.

    “What’d old Flikex want this time?” asked Eml, nudging her companion, Stez, both draped in blue and golden fabrics embroidered with the letters XU. A third skink, Dru, brought up the rear, looking embarrassed to be holding a small flag, also blue and gold, which she waved apologetically.

    Xuli chuckled as the four of them began to amble across the plaza. “Oh you know, just my future and all that.”

    “I bet she told you the same thing we did, didn’t she,” said Stez, “you’ve got join up with us, Xul, fight for the Great Plan, travel the world.”

    “Yeah yeah, I know. I’m not thinking about it yet. Let’s talk about something else.”

    “Oo, like the mysterious theif!” piped up Dru.

    “The what?”

    “You didn’t hear? Eml’s friend from astromancy said she’d overheard two of the high priests talking about it. An ancient artefact went missing from the Mage Priest’s observatory. It was something they used to filter warp light when they study the Chaos Moon.”

    “The sacred lens of Kara,” murmered Xuli.

    “The what?”

    “It was supposedly forged by the old ones just before they disappeared,”

    “And now it’s disappeared.”

    The four stopped and looked at each other, other students passing all around them in the middle of the public space. Suddenly Xuli felt a heavy thud against her shoulder and she stumbled to the ground.

    “Hey, watch where you’re going!” shouted Stez, shaking her fist at the figure who was already walking away. Xuli looked up at the receding shape of a large, fuzzy, full-body felt costume with a cute headpiece that was supposed to look like a stegadon skull. The XU mascot.

    “Idiot,” opined Dru, helping Xuli back to her feet.

    “You can’t call the Chakax an idiot, Dru,” said Xuli. “That get-up probably gives her very limited peripheral vision.”

    “That reminds me,” said Eml, “You’re coming to the big game tomorrow, right?! There’s an end of year sacrifice afterwards, it’s going to be wild.”

    Xuli rolled her eyes. “We’ll see, Eml. You know I’m really not a fan of blood dish-”

    “It’s not about the game, it’s about XU pride! Go the Chakax and all that. Boo Itza State. And you’ve been working so hard, you’ve got to let off some steam.”

    “Oo, and they do the pranks the night before - that’s tonight! I can’t wait to see how our guys humiliate those stuck-up Izta mummies.”

    “Eml, Stez, you’re getting ahead of yourselves. Have you forgotten we still have to take the final exam? There’s only three hours left to prepare. We can talk about school pride later.”

    She turned to leave as they reached the living quarters. The others waved goodbye, heading off to put their things together for the afternoon’s final. But a few paces down the corridor Xuli felt a hand on her shoulder. Dru.

    “Hey, I just wanted to say, I know you don’t want to think about it right now, but you should definitely come to the game tomorrow. After all we’ve been through together, it would be a real shame not to see you.”

    Xuli stared into Dru’s eyes. “I know, Dru. I’ll be there.” She sighed, and then gripped Dru’s arm. “This is really happening!” she said. The two skinks grinned.

    ***
    They said the exam room had once been the site of the great and terrible activities of the most powerful Mage Priests of ages past. Xuli suspected that they used it for exams because it was the only room in the temple that was large enough, but whatever the reason, it was situated just a short walk away from the Eternity Chamber, outside of which she was now standing in line. The students ahead of her shuffled forward slowly, each waiting to participate in a grand tradition.

    Finally it was Xuli’s turn. “If anyone tries to get into the chamber without permission, it will come to life and chop you in half!” The jovial face of the tour guide four years previous came into Xuli’s mind as she stepped forward and brushed her claw lightly against the cold, curving end of the Chakax’s great weapon. She looked up again into the deep pits of the stegadon helm’s eyes, searching for a trace of the spark she thought she had detected so long ago. But she was older now. She could see nothing in those depths but the void.

    It was time to be tested. She proceeded with the others and took her seat behind one of the hundreds of desks that dotted the great examination hall in a flawless grid. She spotted Dru a few rows in front of her; she turned to giver a thumbs up. Xuli smiled thinly, unable to look at Dru for some reason, breathing heavily as she gazed around the room. She felt the stillness of the air, the suspended motes of dust. The tears began to dissipate and her breathing slowed.

    “Begin,” intoned the supervising priest from the front of the room.

    Xuli turned over the two rectangular stones in front of her. One was engraved with a dazzling, intricate array of symbols, the other was blank. She looked around. A hundred students had already picked up their hammers and chisels, busily engraving their answer plaques. She stared back at the whirling symbols, willing herself to decypher them. Question one. Describe three methods for eliminating skaven at long range.

    Xuli’s chair made a hideous scraping as she stood. Even so, most students were too engrossed in their chiselling to notice. She paced quickly to the back of the room where she asked the attendent to be excused. Bursting into the corridor beyond, she slumped back against the wall and tried to calm her frezied pulse.

    When she opened her eyes she sensed something was not right. The corridor was empty but she thought she could feel a…. there. An inky black orb was hovering in mid air a few meters away, where the corridor bent towards the high-magic chambers. It was quite still for a few moments and then it began to move towards her - steadily, but with an occasional jerk.

    “Well, well, well, what have we here?” It was a high-pitched voice, which seemed to snigger as it talked. It came out of thin air, from the direction of the orb.

    “The stone of far scrying,” murmured Xuli to herself, not believing her eyes or ears. The stone was a powerful artefact that was supposed to be kept locked up at all times. It certainly wasn’t meant to be able to fly. Or talk.

    “How perceptive of you,” continued the voice. Xuli wondered if she was going mad. “But I’m afraid that kind of perceptiveness is exactly the sort of thing I can’t be having right now. Besides, all this thieving business is boring. Time for some real fun.”

    There was a piercing gleam that blinded Xuli momentarily until she realised that it came from the polished steel of an enormous carving knife that had just appeared, floating in an equally inexplicable manner, mere inches from her body. As she swallowed and pressed herself against the wall, she noticed that the orb suddenly vanished in a swift swiping motion. The horrible knife was very much still around, however, edging progressively closer to her unprotected throat. She could see its razor-like serrations along the blade.

    Slowly, dreamlike, the thought occured to her that she should try to defend herself from the oncoming weapon. She closed her eyes and forced herself to concentrate. If she cast a lightning spell, that might hurt the impossible thing. She tried to focus like she had practiced so many times. But instead of lightning, the voice came again.

    “Aw. Is it trying to cast a widdle spell at me,” it mocked. “Maybe it wants some pain before it dies. Some beautiful, beautiful p-”

    Xuli thought she heard a little gasp and then a snarl. She looked up. Two senior priests were coming down the corridor, decked in all their finery. They were deep in conversation and had not seen Xuli or the kni- The knife had vanished. She was alone once more.

    ***
    “Will you get to retake the exam?” asked Stez, wide-eyed.

    “Gods, Stez! She was almost killed, the exam isn’t-”

    “Yes, they said I can sit it again tomorrow.”

    “That’s during the blood dish!” moaned Eml.

    “Guys! Come on! She was almost killed!” Dru cried again. The others looked sheepish. They were in Xuli’s room. It was night.

    “Don’t listen to them, Xul. What matters is that you’re OK.”

    Xuli gulped. “Actually I think there’s something more important to consider. The priests didn’t believe me about the stone. Or the knife.”

    “Why not?”

    “I’m just some kid. Today is the day everyone’s expecting a prank.”

    “I believe you,” said Dru, staring at her.

    “Yeah, we all believe you, Xul,” agreed Eml, quickly.

    “Thanks. But ...well that’s not the only thing they didn’t believe. I have a theory about all this.” She looked around. The others were looking at her. She wasn’t sure if it was pity she saw in their eyes. She cast her eyes down.

    “I wasn’t even able to cast a simple spell. I’m pathetic.”

    “Xul-”

    Xuli pushed Dru away as she tried to get close to her. “No. Listen. Two objects have been stolen. The lens and the stone. So….”

    The others continued to stare. “Didn’t any of you do the reading for Advanced Espionage? There’s a theoretical ritual the High Priests supposedly perform in extreme situations to see what’s going on in enemy territory on the other side of the world. There’s three objects they need - the lens of Kara, the stone of far scrying, and the plaque of Quetzl.”

    She looked at them. They were still gawping. “Hello?! The first two have been stolen! Someone is definitely going to go for the plaque too - and soon!”

    Dru was the first to respond. “You’re right,” she said. “We have to get to it first. Take it to a safe location.”

    “Um…” said Xuli.

    “Yeah,” interrupted Stez. “I know where they keep it.”

    “And I know where we can steal the key,” joined in Eml.

    “No, guys, I meant that we should talk to the priests again, get them to deal with it,” said Xuli.

    “You said it yourself, Xul,” said Dru, meaningfully. “We’re just kids. Worse - undergraduates. No one will listen to us. Especially not tonight.”

    “Sometimes you’ve gotta step up, kid,” said Eml, laughing. “And be the lizard you were born to be.”



    ***

    INTERMISSION

    Part II: The Prank

    The key clicked. Xuli heaved on the heavy stone door, which drifted noiselessly open on well-oiled hinges. A staircase descended from the doorway into the depths of the temple pyramid. The four skinks looked at each other. Dru gulped and pushed forward, Xuli letting her take point. They crept down the ancient staircase, a narrow tunnel but tall enough to fit a kroxigor, its perfectly carved walls flickering with the light of regularly spaced torches.

    The quartet emerged into a small cube of a room, so deep and windowless that even the torchlight felt like terrible blasphemy. The room was a maze, of sorts, with four rows of four stone columns that stretched almost to the ceiling, spaced in a perfect grid pattern. The skinks began to look around. Xuli noticed that if she stood between any two columns, then she could only be seen by someone in the same row or file as herself.

    Each column contained a single hollowed-out cavity, in which lay a single golden rectangle. These were the holiest of plaques, and in the dancing firelight they hinted at something primal and potent. Once again, Xuli felt a keen sense that their presence here was wrong.

    “Got it!” squealed Stez from across the room. The other skinks gathered around, staring at the mesmerising glyphs that seemed to writhe across the surface of Stez’s golden discovery. The plaque of Quetzl, said to be dictated by the old one itself. Once again, they all stared at each other, and once again it was Dru who finally took the initiative.

    “We shouldn’t hang around,” she said, lifting the plaque and secreting it in her satchel.

    “Uh, guys,” piped up Stez as they turned away. “Didn’t we leave the door open?”

    They peered up the staircase, which now ended in pitch black.

    “Oh I’m sorry, did you want it left open? It’s just that I thought it might get a bit drafty down here in this horrible little storage room.”

    A knife had appeared, hovering by itself above the bottom step of the staircase. It was a weapon of pure malice, curving wickedly to a razor’s point, bobbing gently from side to side as it spoke in a voice that sounded cracked with madness. Without warning, it suddenly sped towards the skinks with a shriek.

    “Run!” shouted Dru, and the four skinks instantly scattered among the pillars.

    “Yes, run, my pretties!” came the knife’s demented, soul-piercing voice. Xuli rounded a column and stopped, panting, hoping the knife had such a thing as vision and that she might be temporarily hidden.

    “Oh, what a lovely game!” cried the voice, seeming to come from all parts of the room at once. “Does no one want to come out and play?”

    Xuli thought she caught a flash of steel further along her row, and immediately darted 90 degrees around her column to remain out of sight. She glanced all around, desperately seeking a glimpse of either knife or friends, but suddenly she felt utterly alone. She held her breath, willing herself to remain calm as an awful depth of terror began to well within her. She knew she didn’t have anything like what it would take to cast a useful spell. The voice had stopped toying with them, and a silence began to stretch, becoming more and more unbearable.

    The seconds stretched into minutes. Slowly Xuli’s breath began to return to a more regular rhythm. Stealthily, she began to inch herself around the edge of the pillar, peering down the row beside her. Nothing. She sighed and began to look around the other direction-

    “You’re it!” cried the insane voice. The knife was inches away from the other side of her face. It shot upwards, preparing to strike down. Suddenly something gleaming and orange blurred past Xuli’s vision, smashing into the knife and sending it careering into the shadows at the corner of the room. There was a terrible howling. Xuli looked up to see who had thrown the amber spear. Eml, looking shocked at herself. Dru appeared too.

    “Let’s go!” she shouted.

    Xuli hesitated. “Should we check if it’s dead?”

    “No way! Let’s get out of here!”

    Xuli continued to stare into the shadows a few moments longer, her heart racing. Then she joined the others scrambling up the staircase. They hauled open the door and darted into the cool air of the corridor. “This way!” hissed Dru, moving to the left.

    “Surprise!” sang the knife, merrily, materialising out of thin air directly in front of Dru, and plunged.

    Xuli had no time to register the shock. Mad laughter filled the corridor as Dru’s chest opened up like wet tissue paper, blood spurting over the knife and across the floor. Her body collapsed, and the golden plaque of Quetzl levitated straight out of her bag into the air, where it vanished without a trace.

    “Anybody else want to play?” asked the knife, gleefully.

    Xuli’s mind still felt blank. She sensed the enormity of… something, but she was incapable of processing simple facts. Instead, she let the sensation well up and consume her. She was aware of the scent of tin, or was it the taste? Her spine began to tingle.

    All at once, vivid white bolts spewed from her fingertips. They coursed around the corridor until one made contact with the knife, which leapt about in the air, writhing more grotesquely than an inanimate object should be able to writhe. A terrible shrieking filled the air, and Xuli realised that it was coming not just from the knife, but from herself too. She sank to her knees and tried to focus on channelling every last drop of rage. Finally, like a tap had been turned off, the lightning ceased, and the knife clattered to the floor, and Xuli opened her eyes.

    Everything was silent. The three skinks blinked as they stood trembling, staring at the empty corridor, Eml and Stez clutching each other, Xuli somehow clutching Dru’s body. A good minute went by before anyone moved. Eml took a tentative step towards the fallen weapon.

    At that moment, the knife leapt high into the air, its evil edge glinting like a sunbeam. There was a sharp intake of breath, and then - starting low and growing in pitch and vehemence - a cry erupted from the knife like all the daemons of hell were screaming for vengeance.

    There was another silence, much briefer, until Eml shouted, “Run!”

    The three skinks were off down the corridor, their legs pumping like they never knew they could pump. Tin still clung to the roof of Xuli’s mouth, but her mind could sense nothing other than the terrible cackling that was filling the void behind them, and gaining.

    “You got me good, little lizard!” it cried, exuberantly. “Now it’s my turn! And this time, it won’t be so quick, my pretty reptilian one!”

    They rounded a corner, Xuli’s claws skittering on the stone passage so that she slid heavily into the wall as she tried to turn. As she started off again, she felt a quick motion at the nape of her neck as the knife passed milimeters away, and heard a hissed curse. She had no energy to even think of another spell; there was nothing now but the running.

    Now she recognised where they were. Damn, the central temple complex. Up on the left would be the Eternity Chamber and-

    “Well well well, little Xlannies scurrying around after dark, eh?”

    Xuli’s sprint came to an abrupt stop as she and her companions thudded into the outstretched claws of two large saurus. She looked up at the green and white markings, and the familiar face.

    “Jae-rok. And Kor-el. From the Itza State blood dish team! What are you- ?”

    She stopped short at the sight of their enormous grins, and then looked around. Ah, of course.

    The Chakax, Xlanhuapec’s beloved mascot, was standing stationary at the gate to the Eternity Chamber, same as ever. But now it was dripping in slimy green and white paint. The goopy stuff was smeared all over the proud warrior’s limbs and torso; there was even a thick, viscous layer on its helm and mace. The prank, Xuli remembered. The annual prank.

    “Itza rules, OK?” Grinned Jae-rok. Xuli glared up at her. Then she saw the knife, poised directly above and behind.

    The whole room filled with cackling again as Xuli grabbed the opposition saurus and dove towards the Eternity gate, the knife swishing by just a second too late. She pulled herself up and glanced around in terror, searching for the next attack. The others joined her, cowering behind the painted Chakax.

    “What the hell is that?” said one of the blood dish players, now reduced to an equal state of terror, hunched behind their smaller rivals.

    “Here I come, little lizzies!” howled the apparition delightedly. “Now who should be the first to die?! Hmm?!”

    The knife appeared directly before the dripping statue, bobbing gently closer. All five lizards were petrified, as unable to move as the Chakax. But Xuli thought she saw something suddenly start to glow. Something around the Eternity Warden’s chest.

    “Now lets see,” the knife sang merrily, as they stared, hypnotised. “What I want to do is kill the nasty electric one, oh yes, kill it sloooowly, wickedly. But then we wouldn’t have the fun of making it watch its friends die first now, would w-”

    The entire world changed.

    At one moment, the three skinks and two saurus were crouched behind the Chakax in the dim light of the ancient grey corridor, staring horrified at the floating, talking, oncoming knife on the other side of the statue and its new painted coating.

    In the next moment, the whole room was full of colour. Mainly green and white of course, but also a fair amount of red. The walls, floor and ceiling were all coated in a fine spray of these colours, as were the front sides of the lizards.

    One other thing had changed. The Chakax. It remained stationary, but now, after little more than a split-second blur of vision-filling paint atomisation, it was in an entirely different pose. It no longer looked poised to strike. One leg was lunged forward, and the arms were taught and outstretched where they gripped the shaft of the great mace that was now dribbling with blood and gore instead of paint. The Chakax had struck.

    The key around its neck glowed even brighter and suddenly, with a faint pop, they heard a tinkle of broken glass. A body materialised on the floor out of thin air. Or rather, two half-bodies. They had once been a pink-skinned warmblood, an appalling leer still plastered across its face. Xuli could make out pointy ears and black clothing that was now drenched in the same colours as the rest of the room. Welded to its breastplate was a cracked gemstone of some kind, its emerald power rapidly fading away.

    There ensued another vast period of open-mouthed gawping, even longer than after the lightning. A large gob of entrails plopped stickily to the floor from the ceiling, prompting the two Itza saurus to sprint away in fits of tears, but Xuli barely registered. She was staring up at Chakax. The ancient reptile was motionless for many minutes. Then, without any hurry, it calmly and deliberately resumed its former position of readiness. But for a moment - before it solidified into its next eon of stillness - Xuli thought it looked at her, and nodded.

    ***
    “Thanks for coming, Xuli.”

    “Thank you, Councillor Flikex.”

    “And thanks so much for your report. It has been very well received by the higher ups. I can’t imagine how distressing it must have been. I know you and Dru were close.”

    “Yes.”

    “I just wanted to check in. Did you ever send your application to the High Temple? I’d say you could write a fairly impressive cover letter. First lizard to see the Chakax move in -”

    “I sent it, Councillor. And… I also sent an application to train as a warrior priest.”

    Flikex’s face blazed into a slow grin. “Did you, now? And wouldn’t they be lucky to have you.”

    Fin
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2017
  2. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    This is hilarious! So many parodies and references! I knew how it would end, but didn't think it would be quite that spectacular! Now if these were male lizardmen the dean would have come down hard on them! "Stegadon House! You're on double secret probation for this!"
    Also those school symbols are great!
    This was a fun read for sure!
     
    Warden and thedarkfourth like this.
  3. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    A masterpiece. Near flawless. I was so pleased that I could find two typos and resurrect some of my self esteem. (theif, Izta)

    The mystery and the investigation remind me of the good bits about Harry Potter, but it is so much tighter.

    And to think, the warmblood would have got away with it, too, if it wasn't for those darn kids and their lizard.
     
  4. Warden
    Slann

    Warden Tenth Spawning

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    This is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing! Definitely reminds me of Harry Potter, also really loved how you played on the immovability of the Chakkax, his ability to stand motionless for centuries gathering dust while he watches over his charges.

    The Itza Mummies and the Chakkax of Xlanhuapec! Clever mascot choices!I wonder what the other two magic-schools of lustria are all about?!

    +1

    Darn those thieving dark elves.
     
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