Speaking of news stories, here was an article posted in the Ottawa Citizen over a decade ago titled "Pickles In Pants And Two Kicks Send Man To Jail", wherein a drunk tried to steal a jar of pickles from a convenience store by shoving it down his pants and got caught. I can't recall if the two kicks were on responding police officers or on security guards, but it definitely earned him time in the slammer to sober up. Another amusing one I remember from that same time period was a classic example of the world's worst superhero in action: "Florida Man Fakes WMD To Deter Thieves".
It's never good to be animated by a necromancer. But if I was to be animated by a necromancer, I would prefer the necromancer use my corpse to avenge my own death.