Contest January-February 2020 Short Story Contest Voting and Reading Thread

Good work to all.

This one was criminally underrated. A delightful first entry and I can't wait to see more by the author!

 

I knew it was something bloody.

Another @spawning of Bob relic, oh how impactful he was on Lustria. Well, depending on the topic of the next prompt, I'll shoot for Scalenex Cup again.

 

I'm curious as to what gathered me the runner up Scalenex cup?

 

Typical, I start my reviews late due to real life getting in the way, and @Scalenex decides to reveal the winner before I posted my reviews and casted my votes. Thanks for that mate

However, given that I wrote most of these before that happened, I would say that I'd be eliminated of any potential bias caused by the anonymity having been removed.

Having read through all the pieces, it's now time once again for me to give my judgement on the entries for this contest:

Story 1: Of all the Short Story Contests I've read, this is probably the first entry that I've ever seen with High Elves as the protagonists, which is surprising given that they are probably one of the top three protagonist races alongside Dwarfs and the Empire. Throughout this piece we follow a band of High Elf explorers who have arrived at the Citadel of Dusk, a High Elf outpost on the very southern tip of Lustria. After a brief stay at an inn, the band begins to travel into the Lustrian jungle, whereupon it is soon overcome by a Skink patrol and brought into a Temple City. There, they are interrogated, seemingly telepathically, by the Slann Xiliquncali in a conversation with a slight comedic edge to it ("Old magic! Who are you calling old?"). After finding out that the Elves have arrived to find out whether the End Times are approaching, the Slann levitates the Elves behind him up into his pyramid, whereupon he gives them a glimpse into the events yet to come - the arrival of the twin-tailed comet, the destruction of the Old World and Sigmar's ascension into godhood proper after the End Times, and tells them that while a time of 'misery and destruction' is on its way, there will also come 'a time of new beginning'.

This story does initially follow a trope similar to many others charting the arrival of warm-bloods into Lustria - they sail in, start to explore the jungle, and get captured almost immediately as hidden Lizardmen leap out to defend their turf, but this story counterbalances this by introducing Elves as the protagonists, which I certainly haven't seen in any of the previous contest entries I've read. Furthermore, whereas in many of these other said stories the warm-bloods are inevitably , here the Elves are spared and invited deeper into the city's catacombs by the Slann himself - whether they would understand his telepathic speech and whether he would understand their replies is uncertain, but it's certainly something a bit different to the norm. I also think that getting the Slann to predict the transition from Fantasy to Age of Sigmar, rather than actually setting the whole story in this piece of lore (a tactic that has been used especially regularly in contests of late) was a great move as it really helps to show off the Slann's power. I'd take note of the author's rather weak grasp of punctuation and grammar in this one, alongside a lack of knowledge of Warhammer Elf naming conventions and speech (an Elf called Archibalt Gerona? Really? At first I thought the protagonist was an Imperial explorer travelling with the Elves, but the fact that he mentions the Elf gods and the Phoenix King Finubar dispels that theory), but the story they tried to convey with this piece is well done, which is the most important thing.


Story 2: It isn't often that we have a Chameleon Skink protagonist, but when we do, the story that involves said protagonist is usually a standout piece with its own flavour different from any other Lizardman stories. This one is no exception. It follows Chameleon Skink Tla'tzep as he journeys across the Realm of Ghur doing what Chameleon Skinks do best - reconnaissance. As he strays from a patch of jungle straight into the edges of a desert, he comes across an odd artefact that is squishy and makes a ringing noise like a bell, but before he can study it further, three dogs charge over a sand dune toward him, causing him to blend into the desert immediately and hide behind a conveniently-placed rock. The 'Red Thing in the Desert' is of course a dog toy - whether plastic would had been invented in the Mortal Realms yet to facilitate construction of said toy is doubtful, but this piece is a light-hearted comedic piece so I won't question that any further.

A short and sweet piece, I enjoyed this one a lot. The description of the Chameleon Skink's location at the beginning is great, and I can just imagine the AoS Mortal Realms as having something so geographically weird as a jungle immediately turning into a desert just over the other side of a river, especially such an untamed Realm as Ghur. The hesitance of Tla'tzep as he investigates everything by prodding it first with a stick before picking it up is also really good, as to simply go straight to picking something unfamiliar up with bare hands in such a dangerous place as Ghur would be folly of the highest order, and Chameleon Skinks certainly don't possess that level of stupidity (otherwise the Old Ones would have had to severely rethink their scout-model Lizardman subspecies). What's more, despite being so short, this story doesn't make me think it should have been any longer, as it ends so satisfyingly with the discovery of what the Red Thing does, which is always the mark of a good short story.


Story 3: As you all probably know by now, I like my grimdark pieces, and what a grimdark piece this one is. Indeed it's so grimdark that you don't even know the protagonist's name. All you do know is that he's a Kroxigor that has woken to find his Skink kin slain, and following a trail of blood he discovers who the culprits were - the Skaven, the most hated enemies of the Lizardmen. He proceeds to avenge his kin by butchering the two Skaven guards posing as sentries for their hidden burrow in the tunnels, but without the direction of his smaller kin he makes no further attacks, instead simply hiding himself away in an alcove and eating one of the Skaven he did kill and waiting to see if any of the memories of events before he had passed out resurface.

I've read Kroxigor stories before, but none of the others have been as dark and as, ultimately, tragic as this one, as it portrays the Kroxigor not as a simple, bumbling, comic-relief character as most of the others have, but as a predatorial servant that, while having at least enough intelligence to innately know when to await new instructions from superiors, lacks the need to follow the Great Plan that the Saurus and Skinks have. If the protagonist was a Saurus, he would most likely have gone on a killing spree after seeing his comrades slain - after killing the Skaven guards he would have butchered his way through the rest of the Skaven camp, but because he's a Kroxigor and he was born without the military drive of the Saurus, he simply kills and eats what he needs to survive before retreating into a hidden spot and waiting for someone to give him directions, almost like a feral, carnivorous robot. This is how I have viewed Kroxigor since reading the army book lore about them, and this story captures that perfectly.


Story 4: Not one, but two Chameleon Skink stories! While this tale opens with two Skinks mucking about during the festivities of the Winter Solstice, they soon come upon a Chameleon Skink, who they invite to join them in the guise of the celebration being about training and killing rats. Whereas the previous Chameleon Skink is described as acting especially instinctively and stealthily, however, this one is portrayed as more like a professional assassin, knowing only a life of killing and sleeping in between. This means he is quite repelled by the idea of any sort of fun that doesn't involve killing Skaven, and of course when his ordinary cousins show him where they were intending to go, the Skink equivalent of a pool party, he is duly unimpressed. He bluntly rebuffs his friends' attempts to get him to join in after realising they lied, and turns to set off back into the jungle. The perspective then shifts to Vicu himself, where we find out the real reason for his bitterness - loneliness, a condition that travels hand-in-hand with being a scout and sniper. Desperate to rid himself of his pain, the Chameleon Skink travels to a distant temple to meet Dakari, an aged Skink Priest and Vicu's father figure, and explain to him the situation, yet all the old Skink can answer is that he can't help him because he doesn't truly know what it is like to be in the Chameleon Skink's position. Vicu is then drawn back to the party as the only way to cure his loneliness, and realises that having fun with friends is far more important than a simple thing as a wounded pride.

This one is an especially heartfelt story. While I prefer the characterisation of the Chameleon Skink in Story 2, this one does so well at describing the Chameleon Skink rediscovering a part of him that had become lost with his career of solitude after the enlightening chat with his mentor. The humourous descriptions of the Skinks' party and Dakari talking about his garden all add to the light-hearted tone of this piece.


Story 5: Finally, a Saurus story! I was beginning to think this contest didn't have any! This piece follows Kaunobrz as, between flashbacks recounting his own spawning, he monitors the Cold One he has called Mteay as she participates in a lengthy vigil, until one day he finds her not present at her usual spot. This leads on into another day, and then another, until the Wet Season begins, and during a storm a great jungle tree is felled. As the Saurus rushes to dig from beneath it we find out what he was observing - a nest site that until recently Mteay was caring for. Many of the eggs have been crushed by the collapsing trunk, and Kaunobrz feels as though he has failed to protect the nest, but when the Saurus feels something underneath the earh he was digging, he discovers a single egg has survived. As the egg hatches and a Cold One hatchling emerges, the Saurus reflects on the fact that because his duty to the Slann was eternal, there would be no end to his life even if he perished, for there would always be the instance he would be resurrected again to perform the same monotonous duties. On the other hand, the hatching of a young Cold One that he could raise as his own would give him the chance to experience a single life bonded to this mount, inbetween his eternal duty of servitude.

In all my years of reading short story contest entries I've never seen one describing a Lizardman's spawning so intricately before, and the way the author connects the birth of the Saurus with that of the Cold One was a good way to show both the parallels and differences between them. This one adheres excellently with the 'New Beginnings' aspect of the Short Story Contest theme, and was an extremely enjoyable read.


Story 6: It isn't often that a short story can make me laugh when I've only read the first three words, but this one has certainly achieved this. Indianus van Joneth! Is it a coincidence that I was only watching my DVD of The Last Crusade only a couple of days earlier? Now we have Warhammer's answer to our favourite archaeologist, cast as a man of the Empire who takes up a wager to travel to Lustria and bring back a great treasure to prove himself. After arriving at the beaches with little sign of trouble, he and his guides travel deep into the jungles and discover a Temple City that appears to be abandoned. Ascending the steps of the great pyramid at the centre of the city, 'Indi' and his comrades begin to explore the myriad hallways within, and when not feeling jumpy at the silence, help themselves to trasures stored within. Indi attempts to take one such treasure upon a pedestal, but doing so alerts the resident Lizardmen protecting the city. Dodging rampaging Stegadons and moving floors, Indi manages to escape the Lustrian Temple of Doom only to end up at the feet of a Saurus. While this looks like the end of our hero, the Saurus, instead of killing him, indicates for him to descend the temple steps and pass through the ranks of the Temple City's garrison unharmed. Indeed, rather than be punished with a violent but quick death, Indi is instead treated to a vision of the fate of other parties of explorers similar to his own, and is compelled to leave the city as the sole survivor of the Imperial expedition, the city's Slann watching him go and getting his senior attendant to record the arrival and departure of another trespasser among the others that have tried their luck over the centuries.

This piece follows the same trope as Story 1, but takes it from a different angle, with the idea of the Lizardmen purposefully killing all but one of each raiding party that comes to the city and allowing the one survivor to return to the Old World as a messenger to inform the others of the city's inhabitants. In this case the 'New Beginning' is Indi being given the chance to return to the Old World full of the knowledge of what lies within the city he attempted to raid. While not the most original of pieces that could have been written, it's still enjoyable and the Indiana Jones ripoff made me laugh, so it's still as good a piece as any.


Story 7: Another especially grimdark piece alongside Story 3. It tells of a Slann who has sensed the time for a prophecy to come about approaching, who does all he can to try to prepare for the impending invasion. Said invasion starts off quietly, with the robotic attackers (who we find out to be Necrons, most likely Lychguard given their weapons) quietly and efficiently disembarking from their ship with no fuss or racket, but from then on it becomes complete and utter carnage - they effortlessly break through the gate, slaughter the Saurus mustered to defend it and relentlessly make their way toward the Slann's pyramid. Some increased resistance comes from the Slann's Temple Guard, who are privileged enough to wield more powerful weapons and are able to actually defeat some of their oppressors, but the skill, discipline and technology of the Necrons still prevail. The stage is then set for the final battle, as the remaining Automata prepare to duel the Slann and his attendant priests, a battle of magic and science, living and unliving. The conflict even appears to be personal, as the Slann recognises the leading Necron from a previous visit (which links the story to the theme with the 'Rebirth' being the resurrection of the Slann's old enemy and explains why the antagonists head straight for the central pyramid). Amidst the fighting, we see the Slann make use of the Arcane Vassal special rule to cast Metal spells through his attendants and melt some of the Necrons forever, but even this isn't enough to stop one of them mortally wounding Lord Therizinuital, who manages to get a telepathic message out to Lord Mazdamundi and a last order to his High Priest just before he passes. It seems that the Visitors have most certainly had their revenge, but not for long, as the Slann ordered the High Priest to bring a comet down upon them as a last attempt at damage limitation and a final surprise.

This is certainly a strong entry for this contest, because not only does it bring an extremely different story to the others with the 40K crossover, but it also remembers to take account of the disadvantage the Fantasy races would have against something like Necrons - because they are machines that can reanimate many times over, even Saurus would struggle to defeat them. Of course some measures such as spells from the Lore of Metal that melt or crush the foe's armour (or a dirty great Comet of Cassandora) are useful against them, but those are only available to magic users, in this case the Slann and the Skink Priests. The way the author increases the power-level of the Lizardmen facing the Necrons as the story progresses heightens the drama, as the reader increasingly starts to wonder if the Lizardmen will ultimately prevail, only to be hit by the realisation that they will fail, and all they can do is sacrifice themselves with the comet to stop the invaders attacking other cities in the same way, which itself is very thematic for Lizardmen as they will willingly sacrifice themselves and any number of their troops to stop such a cataclysm from happening.


Story 8: This story has a similar feel to Story 5, for it opens with a Saurus looking back at his past, beginning with his spawning and being given a name worthy of his status as the first of his spawning, and then his first battle against human (called Huemon by the Lizardmen of this tale) trespassers. His second battle against the Skaven leaves him with a poisoned wound that forces him to remain in the healers' care and suffer from boredom and vomiting until he is well enough to attend his comrades' funeral. A third against a Daemon horde results in him losing the greatest number of brothers he had ever lost in a single day and the first in a decade, causing him to question his proficiency as a Spawn Leader. His lieutenant, Kroqekar, aims to reconcile him, but this doesn't change the fact he has only 12 spawn-brothers left. This then falls to eight in a battle against a Hydra, but the Old Ones always seem to find a way for Yuqtal then discovers another young spawning, whose own Spawn Leader has been slain by another Hydra. Leading the remnants of his own brethren to glory, Yuqtal saves this new spawning before adopting them as his own, thereby giving him the chance to start again.

This tale was especially good at describing the bond between Saurus of the same unit, for they are not just comrades, but brothers from the same Spawning Pool, and the idea of a Saurus from an old Spawning adopting those from a new Spawning that has lost its Spawn Leader is an interesting one that would explain how Lizardmen retrain and replenish their units between conflicts. However, the author still continues to preserve the Lizardman belief of loyalty to one's spawn brothers, for Yuqtal continues to remember his own fallen brothers alongside leading his adopted kin. A very strong entry that perfectly captures how Saurus view both warfare and brotherhood.


Story 9: This is a particularly interesting piece because it gives the reader an insight into life aboard one of the Temple-Ships the Lizardmen used to escape the dying Warhammer World during the End Times - I've never read a piece that examines this part of Lizardmen lore before. It tells of the Fifth Generation Slann Tla'Tol, who is visited several times by the Fourth Generation Slann Lord Ulha'up as the latter inquires into why the former has been creating a facsimile of Lustria upon another planet, possibly one of the Mortal Realms, for such an action was in violation of the Slann Council's regulations in conserving Saurus and Skinks until a time when they were truly needed. Tla'Tol has even created his own Sacred Plaques, all with the intention of giving his new Lizardman culture something to live and fight for rather than wasting their lives away in cryostasis with the only interruptions being occasionally summoned to one of the Realms to fight a Chaos army. The Slann Council, which consists of older Slann who have more experience and knowledge of when and when not to summon the lesser Lizardman species, see Tla'Tol's actions as impatient and heretical, and execute him for his disobedience and sacrilege. However, Tla'Tol still has one last card up his sleeve, for one particular Spawning Pool he had his followers construct attracts the many millions of particles of him separated by his execution, and under the gaze of Gilmok and other Saurus, resurrects him so that he can live a new life commanding and protecting his creations, free from the continual orders given to him by the Slann Council.

This was a very clever and original piece that explores probably the only part of Lizardman lore that is still quite woolly - where I've seen many stories that map the transition from Fantasy to Age of Sigmar as simply a jump from the first era to the second, this one fills part of the gap that lies between the two, and also gives rise to a Seraphon subfaction that still practices all the original Lizardman customs (no doubt the reader was inspired by the hint GW mentioned of Seraphon being divided into the summonable Starborne and the flesh-and-blood Coalesced, Tla'Tol's civilisation being part of the latter). Probably the only flaw I can actually see with this piece is that there are a few grammatical inaccuracies, but given that this one was so well-thought out, it seems almost churlish to mention that.


Story 10: This story was called 'the Little Things', and that's exactly what it's about - the littlest inhabitants of Hexoatl going about their little lives, doing their little cleaning chores that help keep the great metaphorical wheels of the Temple City going round. Yet these little people, the differing personalities of the idealistic Geck and the perfectionistic Fotl provide a big story for us to enjoy. It starts as a perfectly normal evening for these two, but when Geck discovers a secret staircase that leads further down below the Temple City than they have ever gone before, the pair discover a hidden chamber that contains a strange, futuristic machine. The inquisitive Geck does not hesitate to try on the helmet that goes with it, only to be reprimanded by Fotl who is afraid of what could happen to them if they dally too long and are either caught by their superiors or hurt by the strange machiner. Ironically, though, it is Fotl's stubborness and dedication to his beliefs that is the only thing that is able to activate the machine, and we find out that the lights produced by said machine is a beacon that attracts the attentions of the Old Ones themselves, who begin to return to Hexoatl in their mighty skyships.

This is a classic example of small actions by small people being the catalysts that bring about huge change, both in the fictional worlds of Warhammer and our own real world. The opposite personalities of the two Skinks are excellently done, and it was pretty funny to see Geck winding up Fotl with little alterations that wind up his perfectionism. As a perfectionist myself I understand Fotl's annoyances with things being slanted a little or slightly asymmetrical, and can't help finding amusement at his friend pulling his leg by purposefully resetting his corrections. As a result, I award the Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl Comedy Award for January-February 2020 to 'The Little Things'!

 

Having just voted, it looks as if it was the Old Ones' plan all along for our great lore leader @Scalenex to prevail - well done that man!

I've just seen that I did myself out of joint-third place with one of my votes, but joint-fourth isn't too bad, especially considering I was struggling to come up with something at least vaguely original for this theme. I still salute the five people who did vote for 'The Visitor's Revenge' anyway, for that's probably my most grimdark piece yet and I am pretty proud of it. I'm especially glad that everyone thought it a good crossover of Fantasy and 40K, because that was one of the biggest things I worked to get right.

Hee hee, I suppose it was pretty obvious that my entry was a sequel to one of my previous short story contest entries, given the title, but I thought that if @pendrake could get away with entering a sequel to one of his previous entries into a subsequent contest, I could too, especially given that Necrons' ability to near-continually resurrect fits in with the 'Rebirth' aspect of the theme.

It's funny how I was the first one to start using Prince George memes from Blackadder and others are now following suit, I've created a Lustria-trend

Woohoo, I'm actually the runner-up for the Scalenex Cup!

It makes it worth entering the contest just for this accolade!

And congrats to @Carnikang for winning the cup, I loved the grimdarkness of your piece too and I'm surprised it didn't garner more votes.



I also give an especial well-done to everyone who entered this contest, ten's a big number, and while it takes me forever to review so many stories, it gives me a good deal more choice, and I love a bit of variety.

 

Thanks @Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl glad I could elicit a chuckle!

 

I have to say that my creative juices are already flowing again...

Judging by past experience, how long til the next one? Anybody? @Scalenex ?

 

Submissions in April and then voting in May.

There's always a break that lasts a month and then submissions are opened the following month. Usually, Scalenex reveals the theme when the break nears a close, so expect mid to late March for another contest.

 

By that time, we should also have new lore to digest and adapt if so chosen to do. At least for anyone aiming to write AoS Seraphon stories.

@Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl thank you, I was honestly a little worried I wasn't getting any bites for a while there. Suddenly a day or three before the end I had a few.
But ah well, it was a fun prompt and I liked my story.
I'll have to add it to my Blog list later and seperate it out into its own topic with reviews.

 

Thank you! Honestly, I just wrote this as an exercise to see if the concept would work. I probably could have made it longer, but it felt fine the way it was and I'm planning on expanding on the story idea at a later time.

...that and I liked the idea of Clan Moulder training wolf-rats using a red rubber ball with a bell in it. I'm actually modeling one of my Master Moulders HOLDING said ball...

 

Righto oh scaled one and then we shall do battle again for:

The greater good

(The greater good)

(For anyone reading this and not tracking, your homework is to watch Hot Fuzz, will be worth your while)

 

YESSS! Hot Fuzz FTW!