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Contest Winter 2020/2021 Poetry Contest Voting and Reading Thread

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Jan 1, 2021.

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Which Poem or Poem do you like Best (you may vote for up to three)

Poll closed Jan 16, 2021.
  1. Poem One: "Lizards in the Garnet"

    7 vote(s)
    58.3%
  2. Poem Two: "Jungle Haiku"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Poem Three: "The Good Cause"

    4 vote(s)
    33.3%
  4. Poem Four: "Summer Comes Again"

    3 vote(s)
    25.0%
  5. Poem Five: "Twas the Night Before Solstice"

    4 vote(s)
    33.3%
  6. Poem Six: "Hunted"

    2 vote(s)
    16.7%
  7. Poem Seven: "Funny Life"

    1 vote(s)
    8.3%
  8. Poem Eight: "Sparks to Fire, Fire to Embers"

    5 vote(s)
    41.7%
  9. Poem Nine: "Seventh Hell"

    2 vote(s)
    16.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Happy New Year, Celebrate the New Year with some Poems.

    There are nine excellent poems here and you may vote for up to three.

    I advise taking your time and not rushing. None of the poems are super long. I suggest reading these poems slowly and then re-reading them before deciding on which poems to vote for.

    Lizards In Garnet

    Far away from Old World's shore,

    Where humans labor and dawi snore,

    Far past the shores of Ulthuan,

    Yet far Southward of Naggarond,

    Lies the lands of Lustria.



    Verdant growth hides dangers great,

    Where the greedy lust for golden plate,

    Hidden within ruins of stone,

    Where seekers hunt, but not alone,

    Thus is the lure of Lustria.



    Treasure hunters hack through brush,

    Full unaware of nature's hush,

    They seek for gold, but not aware,

    That they are not the only there,

    For danger lurks in Lustria.



    They trek to ruins of tumbled stones,

    Strewn with rubble, growth, and bones,

    A flash of gems, the glint of gold,

    Makes the treasure hunters bold,

    They all will die in Lustria.



    Troves of treasure some will find,

    For others death would be most kind,

    Toxic plants and serpents' bite,

    Are subtle compared to scaled might,

    This is the land of Lustria.



    For as the seekers gather loot,

    They find that all their work lies moot,

    From shadows at jungle's verge,

    Scaled defenders emerge,

    These are the kin of Lustria.



    Short of stature, quick and nimble,

    Launching blowdarts tipped with thimbles-

    Full of toxins and stars' portent,

    Skinks keep watch for ill intent,

    They are the planners of Lustria.



    Larger still yet no less deathly,

    Are the Saurus, far more healthy,

    They wield stone-edged club or spear,

    With hides of scale and jaws to fear,

    They are the soldiers of Lustria.



    Hulking forms with massive teeth,

    Limbs of power with greater reach,

    Kroxigor have simpler minds,

    But no less deadly invaders find,

    They are the ogres of Lustria.



    Worse things still come from the jungles,

    To take advantage of seekers' bungles,

    Creatures massive with jaws like dragons,

    Things drunkards speak of over flagons,

    Monsters lurk in Lustria.



    Some will fly, some will walk,

    On legs of two or four they stalk,

    Guided by the lizards smaller,

    Who keep beasties under their power,

    This is the strength of Lustria.



    Seek ye not the lizards' gold,

    Heed not stories you've been told,

    For I tell you with all my breath,

    Lustria's shores bring naught but death,

    You will perish in Lustria.



    If Skaven we have offended,

    Worry not, it was intended,

    Rat-kin who in jungles trek,

    Shall be sacrificed to Sotek,

    This is their fate in Lustria.



    So man of North or Worlder Old,

    Aelf or Dawi seeking gold,

    Chaos, Rat-spawn, Ogre tall,

    All will die by scaled claw,

    Stay away from Lustria.



    Seriously, stop invading our shores,

    We're getting annoyed.

    Jungle vines tangle.
    Scaled hunters stalk the brush.
    Sure death to plague monks.

    The good cause:

    Spawned from dark waters, bornout of light
    Lizards stride forwards, readyto fight
    Commanded in battle by their masters, the Slann
    Guided themselves by the great plan.
    Along ages of Battle, eons of Strife
    they guarded the world and laid down their life.
    Not to take treasure, glory or personal gain,
    but fighting their cause: Untill Chaos is slain.

    SUMMER COMES AGAIN

    Summer comes again
    Summer never leaves
    Towering jungle branches
    Sweltering southern heat

    The cold blooded warriors
    Moving with fluidity
    Soaking up the summer warmth
    Beneath the jungle canopy

    Cool blooded
    Sharp minded creatures
    Adapted and crafted
    Perfect weapon of nature

    Seasons of coldness
    Loss, defeat, but then
    The warriors will triumph
    Summer comes again

    T’was the night before Solstice, all through the habitat
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a rat

    The Skaven had all been slain for the great snake
    The altars and shrines set for worship to make.

    The orcs and the goblins all snug in filthy beds
    While visions of WAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! Danc’d in their heads

    The ogres in their camps, with treasure in a heap
    Their food was all eaten, they might as well sleep

    The elves finished doing whatever they do over there
    Saying snobby and combing their hair

    The dwarves were all resting deep in their holds
    Warm in their beds, their blankets in folds.

    The Skinks and Kroxigors were resting in their barrios
    The Saurus slept standing up because they don’t really care…ios

    Deep in the temple, the Slann on this throne
    Save one bored attendant, was left all alone

    The Slann slept through last Solstice as he is wont to do
    In all likelihood he’ll miss the next one too

    The Empire and Brets were off on their own
    Time is a factor, I must limit the length of this poem.

    I did not include factions from the Age of Sigmar
    Including non-8th edition is a bridge much too far.

    I figured the poem is long enough for this start
    It was time to go to bed and stop creating new art

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

    Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.

    That was quite lazy the last lines I made in
    This poem drew the last four lines from the old poem verbatim

    The moon on the breast of the snow in the parking lot
    I have to scoop out my car tomorrow, this weather can rot

    When to my wandering eyes should reveal the course
    But an ornate royal chariot with skeleton horse

    I knew in a moment it was mighty Settra
    His herald announced him with all his glories etcetera.

    But as soon as he arrived he readied to depart.
    “Wait, don’t you have gifts to impart?”

    “The ogres want candy, the greenskins new choppas”
    “The humans want feathers and banners to show to their poppas”

    “The elves whined and cried, the Skaven alone did not object”
    The rats had all died, sacrificed for Sotek.

    “The Lizards want grubs, the dwarves want some whiskey”
    “Isn’t denying everyone presents a little bit risky?”

    He drew a deep breath though he didn’t have lungs
    “You all are all getting nothing, I don’t care if that stung”

    With a telepathic command his flying chariot leapt away
    Far more awesome and deadly than Santa’s dumb sleigh.

    But I heard him exclaim, adorned with his jewels
    “Settra does not serve, Settra rules!”

    Hunted

    Silent night, all to quiet,
    something stirs out of sight.
    I am searching a place to hide
    hoping I will survive this night
    claws, fangs and hardened scales,
    blue and red vibrant frills.

    Funny Life


    memory of my Spawning flees me
    water Thrashing all that is left
    much like my little fellow fish
    Fighting with such bravery
    memory of my Spawning flees me
    water Thrashing all that is left
    lying dead the fish
    its ending in Peace

    Sparks to Fire, Fire to Embers

    The host gathers.

    With the uniting of brethren, their combined spirit merges and combines into something ever greater, ever larger.

    The sparks catch fire.

    Like a kindled flame, the isolated energy of the brothers builds from pools to sea as the fires of war ignite within them.

    The roaring flame.

    The army surges forwards, the sparks of life now a raging wildfire surging forwards as one to consume the foe.

    Flame envelops.

    The tidal sea of flaming passion engulfs the ranks of the enemy, their blaze enfolding the foe like the fire swallowing wood and branch.

    The fire burns.

    The army crashes into the enemy, surging and receding like the moon driven tide, and like the fire it both consumes and is consumed as foe and brother expire.

    The heat fades.

    The fiery rush begins to pale as brother watches brother cut down, watches life ended suddenly, senselessly until they are numb to the pain.

    The embers fade.

    As the clash ends, the last final motes of ferocity seem to fade as the quenching burst of grief spreads throughout the scene.

    And there is only ashes.

    Then it is done, then it has died, for feeling itself has died and those who remain wonder why they felt the passion, as they stand amidst the ashes of their dreams.

    Seventh Hell

    ‎Clashing with the foe,
    On a Cold-one, gonna slay,‎
    All the fiends be-low,‎
    Snarling all the way,‎
    Spells from clawed hand sling,
    Burning daemons bright,
    Oh, our weapons they do sing,
    Slaying with all our might,‎

    Oh, seventh hell, seventh hell,
    Who opened up the way?
    Oh, our hatred amplified,‎
    I hope we'll win the day,‎
    ‎‎
    A day or two ago‎,
    I fought some evil spied,‎
    Found a Chaos coven,‎
    Tried to take their lives,‎
    Missed some of their back ranks,
    Misfortune seems my lot,‎
    Rites chanted so we were sank,
    And Chaos gate they got,

    Oh, seventh hell, seventh hell,
    Don't accept our fate,‎
    Ir-re-sist-i-ble dispell,
    We are shutting down the gate.‎
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2021
  2. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Last edited: Jan 16, 2021
  3. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    As always, kudos to Scalenex for doing the background work of the competition.
     
  4. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    Scalenex, Scalenex is the reptile
    He turns our frown into a smile :)

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  5. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    I read all the poems.
    Some good Stuff all together.

    I'll return in a day or 10 to see how I feel about them in a re-read and make my votes

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
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  6. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    10 days works but it's pushing the envelope.

    In case no one saw the fine print, I set the poll till January 16, not January 31st. I normally use a shorter voting window for poetry contests
     
  7. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    I did not notice, read the intro pretty quickly... To quickly.

    Then I'll re-read in 6 days ;)

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  8. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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  9. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    OK, i must and will reread them all more than once, but at a first reading I already have 3 possible winners.

    Great work everyone!
     
  10. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    I hope everyone that entered here is also working on a short story for this month's competition! :D
     
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  11. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    I am trying to get something together...

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  12. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Scalenex Tries Meaningful Critiques of Nebulous Poetry he barely understands

    Lizards in Garnet
    : Good rhyme scheme, good rhythm. The last line breaks the rhyme/rhythm but it's done for laughs so I like it.


    Jungle Haiku: It's a haiku. I'm not a fan of haikus. This haiku is better than most. I can tell there was some depth of thought put into this beyond merely counting syllables.

    It's still a haiku...


    The Good Cause: Short and sweet. Of all the poems in the contest, this one probably had the most natural and organic rhythm in the contest. Something I admire greatly.


    Summer Comes Again: Being a Lizardmen fan, I must not discriminate against southern hemisphere folk. It is summer south of the equator.

    This poem had excellent rhyme and excellent rhythm, and hit the feels a bit. Well done.


    Twas the Night Before Solstice: Funny and entertaining. Good rhyme scheme but a little lacking on rhythm. If you are going to parody a poem this closely, it is probably best to make each line match the original line being parodied in terms of syllables to preserve the original rhythm.


    Hunted: Short and sweet, Partial rhyme, which is a good stylistic choice. Good rhythm, excellent evocative imagery.

    Funny Life: I would not have guessed the most angsty poem in the contest would be called "Funny Life." Brilliant redirect! Very 2020.


    Sparks to Fire, Fire to Embers: If metaphors were fish, this poem would be an aquarium. That was a bad metaphor. This poem had good metaphors.


    Seventh Hell: I'm not sure if it's a reference to something in Age of Sigmar or not but I don't think Warhammer has nine Hells the way that Dante's Inferno does. I think it was chosen for partial rhyme with jingle bells.

    A clever idea, but I tend to come down harsh on direct parodies because the hard part is done, so I can focus on the details. Jingle Bells is a very simple song covering a very simple activity. This poem is not simple, and it took me a while to figure out what was happening. It's also mixing a very light hearted song with a serious subject matter. This poem could have used a few more stanzas to explain what is going on.
     
  13. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    So I think we have 9 votes and I believe this means (since I'm sure someone submitted more than one piece) we've broken through to have more than just authors voting!

    Please encourage any forum-friends to come take a look.

    :D
     
  14. Infinity Turtle
    Temple Guard

    Infinity Turtle Well-Known Member

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    I though I might as well do an analysis/review of the poems, so here it is! It's quite long, but I hope it makes some things a bit clearer and gives some people some encouragement/inspiration.


    P1 Lizards in the Garnet

    Poetic Devices used:

    Refrain (burden) - Repeating the fifth extra line at the end of each verse breaks the flow of the poem in such a way that is reminiscent of children's story books. It’s the breath and page turning line that ties each verse together. This is a sort of refrain, in this particular case, a ‘burden’. This does not have to be an exact repeat each time, but has the same sentiment each time, bringing the poem back to a particular theme and centre.

    Repetition - this leads into the use of repetition. In this poem, the refrain is the most common repeated piece, bring each verse back to Lustria and what a bad idea it is to invade/disrupt it. Repetition is generally used to highlight a word, concept or theme, done very clearly here.

    Rhyme - Rhyme is one of the most recognizable features of poetry, up there with structure. Though poems don’t need either (some free verse are quite lovely and often my favourite types of poems), this poem, in consideration of its length, impressively maintains steady rhyme and rhythm.

    All in all, a classic poem with some very well defined imagery. The theme is clear and well driven and the story, whether a singular instance or an amalgamation of many warmblood explorations is consistently easy to follow and doesn’t drag on. Very nice.


    P2 Jungle Haiku

    Poetic Devices used:

    Structure - this is the defining trait of haikus. The 5/7/5 structure is instantly recognizable even if it is such an unusual meter to find in any sort of western music/poetry. Generally I like it when people talk about vines in the jungle. It brings some very clear images to mind of being in impenetrable rainforest. Thick underscrub and trees close together are one thing, but I feel that jungles vines are what sell Lustria as impassable. My only issue would be “scal-led” but The amount of times I do this sort of sylliballic alteration to words wherever the heck I like, i guess I’m obligated to like it even more now. Very nice Haiku.


    P3 The Good Cause

    Poetic Devices used:

    Structure - Though not necessarily formatted this way visually, this poem is a clear example of rhyming couplets. There are a few different ways to structure rhyme in verse, such as ABAB, AABA, AAAB, etc. but rhyming couplets tend to be about AA, and in some cases AA A(v2)A(v2). I like rhyming couplets. Some of the poems I wrote when I was younger that were more to do with imagery and emotion were rhyming couplets. As this isn’t a very specific story as such, this medium world superbly.

    Rhyme - Slann and Plan will always be one of the most common Lizardmen rhymes. It’s great. None of these rhymes feel like a stretch, which is nice. Perhaps this is due to the length of the poem, as there are always limited words that can fit a poem of any theme and it can only go on so long before the Thesaurus tab you have open becomes obvious, but this poem is quick and concise and the rhymes all hit.




    P4 Summer Comes Again

    Poetic Devices used:

    Structure/Meter - This is one of my favourite rhyme/structures n/a,A,n/a,A(v2). It just gives a bit more fluidity of rhyme. Without tying yourself down with hard consistent rhymes of a more exact standard, there’s a bit more freedom to favour thematic ideas and other devices. There are four clear stanzas which is another symmetrical aspect of this.

    Repetition - The only repeated line is ‘summer comes again’ which is sort of reminiscent of the theme itself, the line repeats as do the seasons. Simple word for word repeat but solidifies the central theme.

    Rhyme - As I said earlier, the rhyming structure isn’t too strict, but is still satisfying to read.

    Nice.


    P5 Twas the Night Before Solstice

    Ha. If I’m being completely honest I’ve listened to this poem maybe twice, and I’d say both those times were when I was trying to listen to Michael Buble’s Christmas album and then he starts talking but I can’t really be bothered to skip it.

    Poetic Devices used:

    Rhyme - Again, rhyming couplets used in this poem, though perhaps not for an artistic reason but more so for the sake or mimicry. The rhymes are a little less neat than some of the other poems, but it is clear that some are intentionally that way and others are known to be that way, so with artistic intent in mind, it’s fine.

    Structure - Sort of feeds from the rhyming couplets.

    Repetition - More of a narrative repetition, calling back to the races introduced earlier on in that poem.

    Imagery - This poem is full of clear images, which I guess is the intent of the original poem. When races are generalised it is extremely easy for the reader to follow along and see what is written, which is in a way the purpose of poetry.

    Good poem.


    P6 Hunted

    Poetic Devices used:

    Meter/Rhythm - I read this twice at first, once as just a regular poem and then I sang it to the tune of Silent Night in my head. Both are equally adequate to follow along, and I’m not entirely certain which was intended, but I like this poem either way. Technically these are sort of rhyming couplets, but they fit within a greater stanza/verse, so it’s not the same. For this theory to be confirmed there would have to be another one or two verses to compare, but i don’t think this matters much to the effectiveness of the poem.

    Rhyme - Some more looser rhymes which work well in this context. (looking back again now it doesn’t reeeaaaally follow silent night’s rhyme pattern as line three would have to be a neutral line that doesn’t rhyme but oh well it still works). As I’ve said, looser rhymes give a bit more artistic freedom and in a short and simple poem like this it all fits together nicely.




    P7 Funny Life

    I like fish. Fish died. One star

    Poetic Devices used:

    Rhyme - Again, less strict with the rhyming and it makes this little poem flow more artistically. The rhyming really is only a result of the repetition (and partial repetition) of lines, and because of this, both these poetic devices rely on each other to be effective.

    Repetition - The only certainty in this poem is the “uncertainty” presented in the first and fifth lines; the memories that can’t be recalled. This makes the vague and disoriented message of the poem clearer through the language used. Repeating the first line gives this poem it’s main structure, so as the rhyme and repetition need each other to make sense, the repetition and structure also justify one another. This poem is a real tangle of different poetic devices relying on each other, impressive considering it’s length.


    P8 Sparks to Fire, Fire to Embers

    Poetic Devices used:

    Structure - This poem is a good poem predominantly because of its structure. Though in some ways poetry and art is defined as such because it’s flowy and loose, this poem is an example of how that is correct and also not. Art has laws, and perhaps only artists can see them, but if you go looking you’ll find them. This poem is very good at, in a way, lying to the reader. It seems a lot more unstructured than it is. The repetition is turned into a progression, making it less obvious, and the great variation in length between the ABABAB lines sort of diminishes that AB structure. Unique and interesting structure built on the imagery/metaphors presented.

    Metaphor/imagery - The first poem I’ve read out of these to be a very clear example of a metaphor, and in some ways personification. Either the fire represents the army or the army represents a fire, or perhaps both. If you isolated the fire lines and the battle lines, they could each serve as their own free verse poems, but by putting it all together, the two progressions relate to each other and create an image, which is, as i said, in a way what poetry is all about. Fire is always a good tool to use in poetry and also a good starting point is you’re new to poetry. Elements (fire, water, wind, etc.) are very fluid and dynamic, but their qualities is well known by people, so we can say things like “oh it’s all.. Floopygoopy” and other people will know exactly what we mean. This poem feeds off that hard shared audience knowledge and relates it to the slightly less known: battle. Also some feels in this one.


    P9 Seventh Hell

    Ha. Christmas.

    Poetic Devices used:

    Rhyme - A mix of different rhymes to satisfy the poetic context of the original. Another poem that is easily enjoyable whether you read it as simply a poem or sing it in your head. Good rhyming.

    Structure - Of course though another Christmas carol, this song is more musically structured than poem 5 Twas the Night and poem 6 Hunted (if the silent night comparison was intended, that is), as jingle bells is much more of a musically structured song. Twas the Night is already a poem (I mean I guess all songs are…) and Silent Night is more of a hymn, which follow a ‘verse verse verse’ pattern than ‘verse chorus verse chorus’. Good poem with satisfying flow and rhyme.
     
  15. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    Nice.

    I feel particularly unqualified to write reviews so I will just do a Homer Simpson level review and say I liked them all.

    ;)
     
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  16. Baenling
    Jungle Swarm

    Baenling New Member

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    I know it's a cop-out but I really did like them all x3 I thought the haiku and the solstice piece especially were good.
     
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  17. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Congratulations to @Tk'ya'pyk for achieving both first place (Poem 1) and last place (Poem 2) in the same contest!

    Poem 1, "Lizards in Garnet" by @Tk'ya'pyk

    Poem 2, "Jungle Haiku" by @Tk'ya'pyk

    Poem 3, "The Good Cause" by @Imrahil

    Poem 4, "Summer Comes Again" by @Infinity Turtle

    Poem 5, "Twas the Night Before Solstice" by Scalenex

    Poem 6, "Hunted" by @Imrahil

    Poem 7, "Funny Life" by @Paradoxical Pacifism

    Poem 8, "Sparks to Fire, Fire to Embers" by @Lizards of Renown

    Poem 9, "Seventh Hell" by @Lizards of Renown
     
  18. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    Great poem @Tk'ya'pyk I called it to myself as the winner as soon as I saw it.
     
  19. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    Congratulations, deserved victory! :)
     
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  20. Tk'ya'pyk
    Skar-Veteran

    Tk'ya'pyk Well-Known Member

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :D :D :D Okay, did NOT expect that! This has to be some kind of Karmic Balance thing! Thank you, everyone!
     

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