1. This is just a notice to inform you that we will move the forum to a new server sometime during the next few weeks. The actual process should not last more than a few hours; during this process, we will disable replying and creating new posts. As soon as we know the date for the transfer, we will update with more information.
    Dismiss Notice

Contest January-February 2023 Short Story Contest (voting closed)

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Feb 1, 2023.

Tags:
?

Which story did you like best (You only get one vote this time!))

Poll closed Feb 28, 2023.

  1. Story One: "The Dinosaur"

    4 vote(s)
    33.3%

  2. Story Two: "A Day to Be Grateful"

    4 vote(s)
    33.3%

  3. Story Three: "This Story Has Chaos Dwarves In It"

    1 vote(s)
    8.3%

  4. Story Four: "Goring Horn"

    2 vote(s)
    16.7%

  5. Story Five: "Lustria Park"

    1 vote(s)
    8.3%
Page 4 of 5
  1. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

    Messages:
    10,859
    Likes Received:
    19,340
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Story One: "The Dinosaur" by @Killer Angel

    Story Two: "A Day to be Grateful" by @Imrahil

    Story Three" "This Story has Chaos Dwarves in It" by @thedarkfourth

    Story Four: "Goring Horn" by @Mr.Crocodile

    Story Five: "Lustria Park" by @Y'ttar Scaletail

    Congratulations to Killer Angel for winning the tie-breaker!

    Thank you and good job to all entrants!
     
    Scalenex, Mar 12, 2023
    #61
    Noxolotl, Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  2. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Congratulations to the Chaos Dwarfs @Killer Angel !!! A late come from behind surge to force a tie-breaker, followed by a decisive win in the runoff vote. I must say I was quite curious to see who had authored the story. @Killer Angel was one of my leading suspects (along with @Imrahil and @Scalenex ), but I never would have guessed @thedarkfourth writing the second one. Well played friends!


    upload_2023-3-11_20-50-8.png .


    Kudos to everyone who wrote a piece and to all those who entertained my ridiculous (and possibly tiresome) Chaos Dwarfs shenanigans.
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 12, 2023
    #62
    Noxolotl, Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl, Killer Angel and 1 other person like this.
  3. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    12,211
    Likes Received:
    25,284
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Congratulations with the win @Killer Angel , for a while I was thinking I'd have to choose the next theme ;)

    Thanks again to @Scalenex for hosting the contest

    Grrr, !mrahil
     
    Imrahil, Mar 12, 2023
    #63
    Noxolotl, Killer Angel and Scalenex like this.
  4. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    642
    Likes Received:
    2,049
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Y'ttar Scaletail, Mar 12, 2023
    #64
    Killer Angel likes this.
  5. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    16,246
    Likes Received:
    34,914
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Thanks guys! :woot:

    At a certain moment during the comp i was disappointed with myself, as i was feeling like my protagonist. Something was missing and i realized what it was only when the votes were already coming in.

    I should have used 1 of these two options:
    1) the CD sorcerer was killed but managed to curse Roland
    2) the CD sorcerer was able to flee, cursing Roland.

    in both cases, there would have been a solid and good reason for Roland to feel that sense of unease... a pity, the piece was short and written merely for fun, but as always, details can improve any product.
     
    Killer Angel, Mar 12, 2023
    #65
    Noxolotl, NIGHTBRINGER and Imrahil like this.
  6. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    16,246
    Likes Received:
    34,914
    Trophy Points:
    113
    A honor which is also a burden.
    But i promise i'll find something intriguing. ;)
     
    Killer Angel, Mar 12, 2023
    #66
    NIGHTBRINGER and Imrahil like this.
  7. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I got a topic idea for you if you are having trouble coming up with one. Just shoot me a PM. ;)

    I know I'm expected to push nothing but my Chaos Dwarf agenda (after all, I have a reputation to maintain), but for what it's worth, let me break character and share my opinion on this. I think your story is better as is, without either of the two options mentioned above. The surprise reveal/ending works better if Roland achieves everything he desires (without being cursed) but still doesn't feel completely happy. As a result, the reader wonders why he feels that way and what is causing it, which in turn sets up the punch line in the finale. It foreshadows that all is not right and something is waiting just around the corner. If Roland has a genuine reason to "feel off" (i.e. being cursed by the Chaos Dwarf), it robs the ending of its impact. The Carnosaur showing up at the end is already extremely random event (by design), but as the story currently stands, it still feels rooted to the rest of the story by Roland's continued unease. Without that tether, the story is still good, but the ending is a bit too out of left field, in my opinion.

    Then again, I don't write short stories so who that hell am I to say. Call me when there is some tactical analysis or mathammering to be done! :p







    With that out of the way,
    *the NIGHTBRINGER returns to his regularly scheduled programming of general trollery and shit-posting*
    !!!!!.png
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 12, 2023
    #67
    Scalenex, Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  8. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    12,211
    Likes Received:
    25,284
    Trophy Points:
    113
    A solid analysis. I agree with your reasoning.

    Grrr, !mrahil
     
    Imrahil, Mar 12, 2023
    #68
    NIGHTBRINGER likes this.
  9. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    So, @Killer Angel , how many wins is this for you? You've gotten be one of the all time leaders by now.

    You guys should have a hall of champions thread, with the first post containing and updated list of winners ordered by win count. Maybe update the thread you created containing all the past victorious stories.
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 13, 2023
    #69
    Imrahil likes this.
  10. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    12,211
    Likes Received:
    25,284
    Trophy Points:
    113
    @Killer Angel has just a thread like that, only without that first post leaderboard.

    https://www.lustria-online.com/threads/the-best-lustria-short-stories-a-complete-collection.25845/

    Grrr, !mrahil
     
    Imrahil, Mar 13, 2023
    #70
  11. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 13, 2023
    #71
    Imrahil likes this.
  12. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    12,211
    Likes Received:
    25,284
    Trophy Points:
    113
    :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
    Just didn't read properly :oops:

    Grrr, !mrahil
     
    Imrahil, Mar 13, 2023
    #72
    NIGHTBRINGER likes this.
  13. Mr.Crocodile
    Temple Guard

    Mr.Crocodile Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    479
    Trophy Points:
    63
    For any interested, I shall be posting the improved version of my entry later today on AO3, I wish it was the version I could have submitted to begin with, but the rules made it impossible.
     
    Mr.Crocodile, Mar 13, 2023
    #73
    Imrahil likes this.
  14. Mr.Crocodile
    Temple Guard

    Mr.Crocodile Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    479
    Trophy Points:
    63
    And here it is!
     
    Mr.Crocodile, Mar 13, 2023
    #74
    Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  15. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    16,246
    Likes Received:
    34,914
    Trophy Points:
    113
    DONE! (hoping no mistakes were made)
     
    Killer Angel, Mar 13, 2023
    #75
    NIGHTBRINGER and Imrahil like this.
  16. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Look at you... TOP OF THE LIST!! Congrats my friend. :)
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 13, 2023
    #76
    Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  17. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    642
    Likes Received:
    2,049
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Huh, Bronze. And it's mostly my depressing pieces that win...I swear...i'm sure I was meant to be the silly comedic gag writer... :p
     
    Y'ttar Scaletail, Mar 13, 2023
    #77
    Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  18. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113

    [​IMG]


    :D
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 13, 2023
    #78
    Noxolotl, Killer Angel and Imrahil like this.
  19. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    16,246
    Likes Received:
    34,914
    Trophy Points:
    113

    it took some time and effort. :D
     
    Killer Angel, Mar 13, 2023
    #79
    Imrahil and NIGHTBRINGER like this.
  20. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

    Messages:
    85,000
    Likes Received:
    268,662
    Trophy Points:
    113
    And now you stand at the top of the mountain, having bested the greatest of LO's short story writers. Unmatched and undisputed.
     
    NIGHTBRINGER, Mar 14, 2023
    #80
    Killer Angel likes this.
Page 4 of 5

Share This Page