I'm sorry, you cannot do that. Adults are SUPPOSED to groan when we get up, that's why we're called Groan-ups!
I got to go full INTP on the bear thing. Statistically speaking, I am more likely to be harmed by a man than a bear. But I encounter dozens if not hundreds of people every day. I have only encountered three or four bears my whole life and I spent a lot of time working at a camp ground with bears. Chances are good would I be more likely harmed by one of the tens of thousands of humans I met or the three or four bears, my money is on the humans harming. That said, I'm pretty sure if I encountered hundreds of bears in one day. I'm glad I'm not a salmon. They get eaten by humans and bears.
Yes, but in our infamous scenario you are reversing the chances. You are not going to ancounter any man, while you are 100% going to encounter a bear. There's a significant difference between "swimming at my usual beach" and "swimming in a tank with sharks". You are killing any statistic (hoping it's the only thing that gets killed)