Contest July-August Short Story Contest (September 4th)

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Aug 14, 2025.

?

Which story did you like best? (you only get ONE vote!)

This poll will close on Sep 4, 2025 at 7:06 AM.
  1. Story One: "Administer"

  2. Story Two: "Food for Thought"

  3. Story Three: "The Quest!"

  4. Story Four: "Oaxtep"

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. J.Logan
    Troglodon

    J.Logan Well-Known Member

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    Maybe it's a form of forfeit? Acknowledge that there is no victory and bow out with an early name reveal.

    Or maybe he is taking credit for another's work with the permission of the true author to truly throw some chaos into the mix...
     
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  2. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    This is it, good sir.
     
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  3. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    What happened to fighting till the end? A come from behind victory against all odds.
     
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  4. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    So the question becomes, if you didn't write The Quest, then who did? Who else entered? @Imrahil and @J.Logan . Who was the forth?
     
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  5. J.Logan
    Troglodon

    J.Logan Well-Known Member

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    The fourth? Why isn't that @thedarkfourth? I've noticed he typically has an entry... or I'm getting muddled...
     
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  6. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    Your guess is better than mine.
     
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  7. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    Seeing as I was honored with not only 2 Chaos Dwarf stories but also 2 Nightbringer stories, perhaps I can have a go at a short review.

    Story One: "Administer"
    A good take on the contest theme. The story reads really well; very clear, descriptive and easy to follow. The author is able to take what is a mundane task, paperwork, and weave an engaging tale from it. A pleasant read that teaches us that sometimes it's best to just keep your head down and do no more than what is asked of you.

    Story Two: "Food for Thought"
    Food for Thought has to be given credit for being the most risky take on the contest theme. It's a bold move and it must be said that completely forgoing an in-universe story in a short story contest is the greatest example of non-conformity from among all the entries. The inclusion of both a Chaos Dwarfs AND Nightbringer mention of course automatically puts it in my top 2; I am a man of my word. If I am to be honest though, despite the admirable risk taking, I did miss having an actual in-universe story. That said, it was a truly unique and unexpected take on the theme. My favourite part of the story is the bit a the end about sleeping on it and finishing it tomorrow... but never doing so. Procrastination to the highest order; I can appreciate that.

    Story Three: "The Quest!"

    It's probably obvious by now, but this story, also doubling down on CD and Nightbringer mentions, was the one to capture my vote. The idea of satisfying the contest theme through a fourth wall breaking character versus narrator interaction was very clever. The format reminds me of a couple of old Looney Tunes cartoons I watched as a child where the characters of Daffy Duck in one episode and Bugs Bunny in another are endless tormented by the animator of the cartoon (turning out in the end to be Bugs and Elmer Fudd respectively). Good memories, and this time around that experience is presented uniquely through a written format. While I found it a bit jarring at first, it quickly accreted interest as it got rolling. A small aside on execution, bolding text for the narrator's speech was a fine touch, ensuring that source of the dialogue remained clear. The fourth wall breaking went a bit further though, pulling off an Inception-esque second level break by mentioning... well... me. So the author of this story is working with characters across three levels; the in story characters, the in story narrator and a person outside the story entirely. Sounds like non-conformity to me. And to top it off, our poor little skink protagonist finally got to enact some revenge on his tormentor. Who doesn't love a happy ending?

    Story Four: "Oaxtep"

    Another fine story. In terms of writing style, it was an exceptionally pleasant read, perhaps the only story to exceed story number one in that regard. Very polished. Upon completing the story, I instantly recognized it to be the single greatest threat to hand a CD story an uncharacteristic loss. In general, this is the type of story that I like most. It takes a hole in the lore (in this case the cause of the polar gate collapse and the coming of Chaos), and fills it with an interesting and believable explanation. A Slaan inadvertently causing the great catastrophe is not only completely plausible but extremely satisfying from a lore perspective. You could drop it straight into the army book and it would never feel out of place. Using this tale to teach our well intentioned skink the error of his ways, doubly good. Looking at the situation from his perspective, a well meaning deviation was undeniably demonstrated as potentially dangerous, and something to be avoided. If a Slann, with otherworldly judgement could error so grievously, then what hope would a skink have in navigating non-conformity to the great plan, even if that non-conformity was seemingly trivial. Magnus did nothing wrong? Without doubt the little skink was fully resolved to never repeat his error and would diligently stay on the preordained path. A resolution he would ultimately never get to enact. From our perspective a cruel end for a well intentioned break of protocol, but a reminder of the cold otherworldly nature of the children of the old ones. While (in my humble opinion) the SS contest stories generally run the risk of humanizing the Lizardmen too much, this one draws a very cold and clear distinction between the species. Well balanced in all regards.
     
  8. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    And yes.... another victory for @Scalenex . I shall attempt to avoid committing such a mistake in the future. I'm not proud of myself.


    Also, just noticed that each review gets longer as I go along. Too late to edit it now. What's done is done.
     
  9. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    Your reviews have been greatly appreciated, at least by me :)
     
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  10. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    That's good to hear. I always feel weird writing them, because it isn't exactly my forte. I feel much more at home with my math-hammer and excel spreadsheets! (or aggressive debating... but that is something else entirely).
     
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  11. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    These are genuinely great reviews! You've really blossomed into a flourishing and constructive member of the short story community! It is surely only a small step now to your own story. If you don't want to enter a contest, you could always write one as a stand-alone piece.
     
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  12. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    This looks like some non-conformity to your own expectations of self :p

    But seriously you wrote really good reviews, Thank you for that :)

    Grrr, !mrahil
     
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  13. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    But... but... I'm chaos! The trickster. I'm not constructive, I'm destructive! :D

    The closest thing I ever wrote to a Lizardmen story was an army book background story for a custom character I created ages ago (during the tail end of 7th edition WHFB). The rest of my stories just rattle around in my head.

    I'm glad you liked them. :) I wished they were roughly equal in length. The plan was for short reviews somewhere in the vicinity of the first two, but the last two sort of ballooned out of proportion.
     
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  14. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    But a true follower of Hashut always look for personal gain, and constructive contribute exalts your imposing presence, thus increasing your fame ;)
     
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  15. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    But Tzeentch says...
     
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  16. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    upload_2025-9-2_15-37-18.png

    94 replies on this thread, now 95. And that with the contest winner yet to be announced. It's going to break 100! Uncharted territory for a SS contest? (or seldom navigated at the very least)

    A victory for @Scalenex
     
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  17. J.Logan
    Troglodon

    J.Logan Well-Known Member

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    96 now. :p

    Tzeentch says manipulate the people around you, keep them guessing and never do anything that doesn't in some way further your own goals.

    All of which allow you to contribute to the ssc, as it will certainly keep us guessing, manipulate or emotions, and further your own goal of mayhem and Chaos.
     
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  18. NIGHTBRINGER
    Slann

    NIGHTBRINGER Second Spawning

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    That doesn't sound like Tzeentch at all. That sounds like you trying to "Tzeentch" me! :p
     
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  19. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Scalenex's Last Minute Critiques

    Nighbringer got critiques up before me...how embarrassing.

    Story One, “Administer"


    [​IMG]

    This gave me PTSD from my former office jobs. Well done.

    This was a clever on the contest theme, and it was well portrayed and efficiently written and well-polished. The ending was bleak, but it did have a clear conflict and resolution. The resolution was the Skink knuckled under and promised to behave.

    Story Two, "Food for Thought"

    [​IMG]

    I did not write a piece for this contest. It's been a while since I thrown my hat into the ring. I really wanted to but I couldn't come up with anything else. I did go through a thought process very similar to this. Only I waited till the last minute, so my musing was more frantic and self-deprecating.

    My best idea was a sequel to "Short and Scaly on the Streets", which is one of my most favorite pieces written by myself, but I was certain the sequel would not live up to the original (as is often the case with buddy cop movies). Perhaps I even could have put in Chaos Dwarves...sort of. As the contest moderator I knew there were two pieces with Chaos Dwarves in them. I thought if I made a third with only one vote, I could scramble @NIGHTBRINGER 's brain.

    I wasn't sure how Chaos Dwarves would fit into Old World City, or for that matter, I'm not sure how to fit any Chaos faction into Old World City. Old World City is a spoof on 80s buddy cop movies, but it's also inspired by Zootopia. Just how Zootopia represents a weird ass world where predators and prey make a post-conflict society, Old World City represents a scenario where the Warhammer faction stop trying to warring on each other, at least on the WHF grand scale.


    Obviously, if you see a "Short and Scaly on the Streets" sequel with a dwarven gangster with a very tall hat, the piece was written by me, or it's an elaborate psy-op.

    I had a rough month and a half. Nothing bad happened to me. I just got very little writing done for Lustria-Online OR Scarterra. Lots of fruitless brainstorming though.

    This short story definitely made me feel like this was a kindred spirit. So for that I like it. But as anyone who paid attention to my short story critiques, I am a big nerd when it comes to the basic short story structure: Introduction, Conflict, Resolution. Every sentence should advance the plot or reveal character. Side tangents are welcome in a novel, but not in a short story, at least with the standard short story structure.

    To get my vote, a non-standard short story needs to be be twice as good...it has happened before, but not this time. I still enjoyed this piece, it just wasn't my top piece.


    Story Three, "The Quest!"

    [​IMG]

    This is the off the wall comedic story I was hoping for when I first saw the contest theme.

    As weird as this was, it still has the core skeleton of a short story with a clear introduction, conflict and resolution. Though it reads more like a one-act play but it works well. It's well-polished and typo free, but that pretty much applies to all four pieces in this contest. Typographical errors are becoming rarer in recent contests though I'm sure I could single-handedly triple the error rate if I entered my own piece again.

    No major flaws to pick at here. It got a little meandering in the middle, but I'm now sure how I could write it better, even with 20/20 hindsight. Maybe, it's because I'm a fan of Stranger than Fiction. I would have had only one character able to talk to the narrator as opposed to all the characters talking to the narrator. Might have been able to squeeze a few "Who are you talking to?" jokes in there.

    Another joke to squeeze could have been "What language are we speaking?" The Lizardmen, Chaos Dwarfs, and Earth narrator should all be speaking different languages.

    Story Four, "Oaxtep"

    [​IMG]

    This was well-polished, but that compliment applies to all four pieces. It was well paced and clearly conveyed what it meant to with a succinct and efficient word count. If I judged on technical writing skills alone, I think this was the clear winner.

    But the piece has more than just technical expertise. This piece took a literary risk that paid off. Very few authors have opted to give Slann human-like emotions, but the author did a good job giving the Slann human emotion without making them seem un-Slann-like. Very impressive.

    It's been a while since I've awarded the Scalenex Cup (a tradition Bob encouraged me to do, I miss Bob). The Scalenex Cup is given to the story with the most emotionally poignant death.

    I get that the piece was named after a dead Slann named Oaxtep, but I think this piece would have been better if the condemned also had a name. That is only thing I would change wiht my powers of 20/20 hindsight.
     
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