Hello again, my esteemed Lustrians. As promised, herewith follows an account of the first battle I participated in since returning to these parts of the Old World. Firstly, I do remember that I mentioned two battle reports in my promise. For the sake of shorter posts, I shall deal with each battle separately, and only once all the details are made (somewhat) clear. Secondly, as I mentioned, my supreme lord Kaxe-ek suffers from many mental conditions, may his brain be ever praised. Among his latest mishaps is the misplacement of the army lists, item lists and spell lists I had drawn up for each battle. I will do my best to recollect all units and events that took part, however please bear with my vagueness. I shall keep copies myself in future! And so, I give you the clash between my new lord's first assembled units and my former captors, may frothing disease and eczema plague them even in the afterlife! Note: this was the best army we could assemble on short notice, so the more elite units will be somewhat lacking. For now. Our glorious Lizardmen offensive: Lord Kaxe-ek, Slann Mage Priest, resplendently adorned in yellow and purple livery for his first battle in millennia. He carried some flat pieces of apparently important stone, and was four-times-blessed. An accompanying unit of Temple Guard, with some fancy combat banner. Somewhat dour individuals, but unmatched dedication. Hoqis-Poqis, perhaps the only Skink priest alive with two wizard levels and two opposable thumbs on each hand. He's an awesome card shuffler, though. Two units of Saurus warriors. We think of them as Cold Cuts. A unit of Cold Ones, mounted by more Cold Cuts. They were led by none other than Inqi-Pinqi-Ponqi, one of my lord's favourite scar-veterans. Despite the fact that he only has two moods, Off and Overdrive. Two huge units of Skink Skirmishers, to make up the remainder of our battle points. My lord hadn't really developed a liking for Skinks yet, so they were cast as cannon fodder. As I said, at this stage our elite units were still on back order. The accursed Druchii had assembled a force of similar size, as it were, but they were far less good-looking: Some nameless sorceress, a professional by the look of her. Had some nasty spells, a nasty item and two nasty dispel scrolls. Oh, and she was on a manticore. Some lucky Dark Elf Master was on another manticore, having been given permission for a vacation with his pet. He chose to spend his time off bringing me back. Some other nameless sorceress, a mere novice, with little else going for her except some power-enhancing items and a very ill-tempered horse. Joining the weaker spellcaster were a group of Dark Riders, armed with gatling guns. I mean, repeater crossbows. There were 3 units of gatling infantry, intending on using our skirmishers as pincushions. For battering us, the pale-skins were going to use a unit of Executioners and a unit of Witch elves. The former were holding their weapons as if compensating for something. The latter were kind of cute, for a squishy race... A unit of Cold One riders were there specifically to hunt down little old me. Little did they know that their mounts would no more bite me than growl back at the Witch King. Still, they could damage our troops quite badly. Rounding out their force were 3 Reaper bolt throwers. Nothing to say, except "Duck!" The terrain features were somewhat lucky for us; we managed to deploy our cavalry behind a hill and at maximum forward range, which put them out of sight of the repeating Reapers. We also had a forest for cover, which meant that if they had the first turn, we could still hide my lord and the Temple Guard, while allowing them to move into sight and range for him to cast during our turn. However, the Druchii were also lucky, having received numerous hills to place all their shooting units on. In short, if our skirmish screen came down, we’d be skewered from afar. Enemy Turn 1: The winds favoured the enemy, however, and they received the first turn. Somewhat predictably, they completed their movement phase by staying exactly where they were. Magic proved to be mostly fruitless for them, with the 2 sorceresses either failing to cast anything, or their spells being dispelled by our mighty wizards. The sorceress supreme finally managed to get one Chillwind off, targeted at one of the skink skirmisher units. 2 of my brethren died, our first casualties, and the unit would not be shooting next turn. Their shooting phase was somewhat disappointing…for them. Four units armed with repeater crossbows and three Reapers all fired every bolt they could, and the only things they managed to kill were another 5 Skinks and a hapless squirrel that chose a bad moment to cross the battlefield. There being no brawls just yet, their turn ended and our advance began. Our Turn 1: Nothing for it; we marched, all ahead full. Since the one unit of skinks couldn’t fire anyway, and they were both out of range, we rushed forward in the hopes of enticing them to do the same. We wouldn’t be winning the archery contest, but a stand-and-shoot from massed poison darts could bring even the Executioners to a halt. Or so we hoped. Magic. With a free additional power dice and every spell from Lore of Heavens known, Lord Kaxe-ek would surely decimate the enemy. In rapid succession, Celestial Shield, Forked Lightning and Uranon’s Thunderbolt were successfully cast amidst a whopping pile of dispel failures from the Druchii; fortunately, the opposing team forgot about their scrolls. The weakened Skink unit was now protected against pincushioning, and no less than 6 repeater crossbows were suddenly without owners. Not to be left out of the action, Hoqis-Poqis jumped in and cast…Second Sign of Amul. Having cast it successfully, he suddenly realised that casting it after the re-rolls would have been useful was somewhat wasteful. And wasted it was, since there would be no shooting or combat from our side. He would be due for a severe discussion with our lord later. Enemy Turn 2: For some reason probably never to be revealed, the Dark Riders decided that taking advantage of the gap in the skirmish screen and charging our Cold One cavalry was a good idea. Sure, they outnumbered us, but what were they hoping to do? The rest of their army stayed put, obviously still hoping to shoot our screen down and then mass-charge us. Their cunningness was finally revealed during their magic phase. The sorceress supreme managed to cast Power of Darkness, and gave herself the full 4 extra power dice. Taking a gamble, she then rolled en masse and succeeded in casting Word of Pain. With Irresistible Force. On the cavalry. Who had just been charged. Drat. To further add insult to injury, the sorceress that accompanied the charging Dark Riders was able to cast Soul Stealer. With Irresistible Force. On the same cavalry. And inflicted 2 wounds. Double drat. We were somewhat shocked, and the rest of their magic phase was a blur, though we just dispelled what we could. Shooting also didn’t bode well for us, with the skink screen virtually dissolving from the massive missile onslaught, and two of the Reapers even managing to target our lord’s Temple Guard and knocking off 2 of them. It was now open ground between our infantry and theirs. The combat between their cavalry and ours was mostly a stalemate. Their charge failed to do any significant damage, and our diminished weapon skill failed to hit the quick elves, even with so many attacks available. Our Turn 2: With little or no cover available on the Druchii side of the battlefield, we moved forward, unfortunately into charge range of the enemy infantry. We didn’t have much choice; it was be charged or be shot at, and with minimal shooting available to us, we had to get in close. Our magic phase went well. Hoqis-Poqis wisely cast first this time, and again got off a Second Sign of Amul successfully. Then he proceeded to roll a 1 for his D3 roll. Our esteemed Mage Priest was not impressed, but took it in stride and used the one re-roll to cast Uranon’s Thunder Bolt with Irresistible force on a unit of enemy infantry. As luck would have it, he rolled a 6 for the number of hits, and then chuckled as all 6 hits killed off a Dark Elf. He laughed outright when the unit nearly failed its panic test. He was less than impressed when both his other spells fell victim to the pair of Dispel scrolls, though. That’s life in the Winds of Magic. With nothing to shoot, and nothing to dodge, all eyes turned to the combat between the cavalries. With a weapon skill of 1 until next turn, Inqi-Pinqi-Ponqi’s multitude of attacks from all his items wouldn’t be doing much. He and his team-mates could only wave their weapons around clumsily as the Dark Riders, led by a 4-wound little sorceress, took out 2 of their number and won the combat again. It was a close call resolution effect, too, as the unit nearly failed their break test altogether. Enemy Turn 3: The Druchii’s luck finally ran out, and they made a huge tactical error: they charged. With everything. A sorceress supreme on her manticore and a unit of Dark Elf infantry crashed into the Temple Guard. Another manticore, ridden by the Master, swooped down on one of the Saurus units, followed by a second infantry unit, while the third infantry unit charged into the second Saurus unit. What a mess. With everything but the Reapers in close combat, the sorceresses suddenly realised they had a very limited spell selection. In frustration the manticore-mounted magic maiden tried casting Word of Pain on the Temple Guard, only to have it horribly dispelled despite the number of dice she was rolling. The lesser sorceress tried and failed to cast Soul Stealer, and that was pretty much that. Not daring to shoot lest they hit their own troops, the Reapers remained silent as the titanic close combat phase began. It was the beginning of the end (or the withdrawal, as it were) for the pansy Dark Elves. With all three infantry units failing to wound a single lizard, they were out of it from the start. The Master and his beastie fared little better, wounding only 2 Saurus warriors. Only the mega mage and her manticore did slightly better, as the monster clawed through 2 warriors and ate a third. Meanwhile, in the cavalry combat, the Dark Riders and their maniacal mistress didn’t inflict so much as a scratch on the Cold One riders. The retaliations were, I’m proud to say, as brutish and bestial as I had remembered from so many years ago fighting alongside my fellow cold-bloods. The Temple Guard wisely directed all of their attacks against the supreme sorceress, who died supremely. Her manticore whimpered once, and then refused to move. The same exact fate befell the Master and his manticore, his paltry items and saving throws no match for half a unit of brave Saurus warriors. In the 1 unit-on-1 unit combat, the Saurus warriors tore into the Dark Elf infantry like a hot claw through jungle paste. The puny Dark Elves died, broke, ran and were chased down. Having their regular skills with weapons back, the Cold One riders brutally hacked down half of the Dark Riders, who broke even more spectacularly and were ridden down on the retreat, while the little sorceress with 4 wounds desperately tried to rally them. She died last, a victim of a spear through the back of her head. The scaredy-elves didn’t even permit us to slaughter their remaining units. With no characters and no magic, they all turned tail and fled. I scampered over to where Lord Kaxe-ek was hovering and chattered my congratulations on his resounding victory. “Lord,” I said, “I am so grateful for having had the chance to destroy my former captors. My only regret is our lost scale-brothers, but I renew my pledge of service to you and vow to never stop killing the pasty-faces.” He opened his eyes, regarded me from under those droopy lids, heaved a sigh and a belch, and simply asked me “Etsiketsi, I’m bored from being awake for so long. When is the battle starting?” Sigh…
Great battle report! Very humourous and well written! The Dark Elf list was probably slightly unoptimized with no Hydra or Black Guard. Looked like a great game, but charging then was the biggest mistake.
Thanks for the kind comments To be fair, the Dark Elf general hadn't had a decent battle (indeed, any battle at all!) for a good 5 years...he'd spent most of his time torturing me in his little fort. So I guess in that regard, we were on even footing...them without their elites, us without ours. Scaly regards,
You read my mind; it's definitely in the plan! I know how hard it can be to imagine how all the units are placed over several turns, so while it may slow us down, I'm going to do what I used to back in the day and take snapshots of the battlefield after each turn's movement. Glad you enjoyed the reading Yours in scales,
Great report and an awesome style! The 'loose' style is very entertaining to read (if that makes sense) but it remains clear. Also, the result was nice...Slaying elves always makes for a good day. Keep it up! The Hunted