Fiction My father, the inventor

[discomute]

This piece is in the lost city of Turochlitan

A human city (made by the Slann) in the middle of Lustria. Read the above story first.


---

Sometimes I am tempted to think that my fathers obsession started with my mother melancholy but that isn't really true. When I was a kid he was always obsessed with taking things apart to see how they work. The only present he ever gave me was that fancy knife, designed to de-sect animals. He used to come home with different items from the jungle and we would take them apart together. I used to love that knife, I hate that I had to give it back to him, but I couldn't go on as his assistant.

I think he loved that I was his assistant, I've often wondered why that was. I think he always felt a certain level of genius, and was frustrated that no one else saw him that way. Except for me of course, what is better to a son than time spent with their father.

There wasn’t much that he didn't try. One week it may have been dissecting animals, the next it was trying to build a wooden terradon that would fly, once we dissolved certain plants trying make a new style of armour.

After Ma had Lucinda, my sister 14 years my junior, Ma started suffering from these melancholy spells. Nothing seemed to bring her out of it. For a long time I was right by Dad's side, trying to figure out how to cure her. Looking back it seems strange that we trying to fix her in the lab, rather than speaking to her. I guess that was the Blackford boy's way – we had a tool for everything. And he had his moderate successes in this regard, once he boiled this plant and then dried up the white substance that came out of it, and fed it to her. It would cure her instantly, but the effects hours afterwards was terrible, it made her as miserable as ever. And this plant was rare, so he moved on.

His big breakthrough came the week our ocelot got a cut. It was clear that it was infected, which was basically meant death. The skink priests used to help with these things decades ago, but they came more and more reclusive, and nothing more than a life or death issue seemed to matter now.

Dad had invited grown this invisible substance that seemed to repel mould, he was sure this might help ma in some way. It did not, but feeding to the ocelot removed the infection in days. It was amazing and my Father was sure he would soon be recognised as the smartest man in the city.

He was greatly surprised that no one believed him. More than that, no one really cared. It seemed to break him a little, so when Kayishen summoned him, he nearly didn't go. But he got home he was a changed man, Greymaris was the answer to everything now. He wouldn't stop for hours, Greymaris this, Greymaris that. I didn't know what was to come.

He started to change, at first it was hard to pinpoint. But he got more obsessive, and what he tried to do become more bizarre, more irrational. Soon he was trying to build a tower that would shoot lightning. Soon he was experimenting on live animals. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't sleep, and he wouldn't stop telling me about Greymaris.

I tried to fake my enthusiasm for Greymaris, but I think he knew I wasn't committed. If he didn't at first, he did the day that Lucinda had massive red infection on her leg. I gathered her things to take her to the Skink Priests, and discovered to my surprise that he wouldn't let me. He could cure it. Nothing I could say would change his mind, he didn't need them, he was lord of infection now.

His strange substance worked, who knows what effects it had on her. That was the day I knew for certain that we had a problem. This wasn't the father that I knew. The coming weeks weren't much better, imagining coming home to find your father trying insert a goanna's brain into the now hollow ocelot's skull.

And then soon the breakthrough came, he “fixed” Ma. It made me hate myself for not acting earlier. Ma was now completely subservient, yet couldn't stop moving. Doing one thing, doing another. Fidgeting with one hand while the other cleaned his work station. He could tell her anything and she would snap to it. Nothing makes my eyes well up more than the memory of that afternoon, the last time I saw her. Despite her bizarre behaviour, he could not stop bragging to me, he had now succeeded, everything was going to plan.

So I told him I agreed with him and I apologised. I should have been committed from the start. Let me get my tools and we'll get back to work, like the old days. He smiled at me and went back to his desk, I went and got the only present he had ever given me, and I gave it back to him, in the way that I knew I had to.

Continued in Ramifications

 

[lordkingcrow]

This story definitely had some Lovecraftian influences and I enjoyed it a great deal. I thought it read smoothly with only a few little fixes here and there. Nothing a once over and some word crafting couldn't catch. My only critique is that the "skink priest" part threw me. I thought this was a solid piece of fiction between father and son that lay outside the Warhammer world. In my humble opinion, I think it would read better that way. I don't see the "family unit" working so such from the lizardmen perspective. Doesn't follow the fluff, ya know?
That being said, loved it.

 

[Scalenex]

Just like the Hunter's Day series discomute wrote, he flatteringly chose to set this piece in the lost city of Turochclitan.

Discomute: You should probably put an introductory sentence explaining that in case anyone reads it out of context.

 

[spawning of Bob]

Yep, I thought "Hooray, discomute is about to explain his real self, why he writes so well and possibly why he got into wargaming!"

I am in a self analytical mood right now, and I also thought - "wait! I might try to give some background to myself too!"

I was utterly fooled right up until you used the word "jungle" in the fifth line, and didn't confirm my suspicion until paragraph 3. Then i had to start over and expunge the idea that a hobby of taxidermy was not one of your personal drivers -( it had made so much sense after all. That's how Scalenex got started. Or it might have been vivisection...)

wrt Crows advice, if you just call them "priests" rather than "skink priests" and drop the obvious Lustrian things like the word terradon (you could say he invented "flappy bird", for instance. Son of Bob would like me a lot more if I had invented flappy bird!)

I've firmly decided that what I like so far in your stuff is a complete normalness of your characters set against a backdrop of an insane world. You can also do strong twists which provoke thought and lead me to read the story over again to find all of the subliminal clues that you casually dropped in without fanfare.

There should be an emoticon like this on L-O. {I borrowed the Under-Empire one)

 

[lordkingcrow]

Just realized that I skimmed over the terradon reference. So I guess I'm confused, is this a human city within Lustria? Maybe I'll look into what Scalenex said about the lost city so I know the setting.

 

[discomute]

ah yes sorry for all the confusion. It is a human city in Lustria, that fell as the chaos gods spread under another name.

I have changed the intro hopefully that makes more sense to those who read.

Thanks for the kind words. I am also acutely aware that this story is light on the lizardmen. When I started it I had plans for a series that would see Blackford become more involved in their world, but nothing is really gelling in my head right now, it might be the last of him.

Edit or maybe not, things are forming....

 

[spawning of Bob]

ah yes sorry for all the confusion. It is a human city in Lustria, that fell as the chaos gods spread under another name.

I think, in this case, that the confusion is good. If I read a story and think "that story was good" then that story was good.

If I read it and think "That story got me thinking / intrigued AND it was good" then I am going to re-read it and remember it.

Its the fine balance between thought provoking and confusing that is the challenge, and I fear the sweet spot would be different for different readers.

Long story short: Keep writing stuff that I enjoy!

 

[discomute]

Yeah to be honest it was intentional. I figured most would recognise know the story. They would know the person was talking about humans from the mother / father bit, another clue at skink priests, but they wouldn't know exactly what was going on until Kayishen was mentioned. Given I've got 5 or so reading this and 2-3 were confused I now think I should have put the intro paragraph there.

 

[Scalenex]

Yeah to be honest it was intentional. I figured most would recognise know the story. They would know the person was talking about humans from the mother / father bit, another clue at skink priests, but they wouldn't know exactly what was going on until Kayishen was mentioned. Given I've got 5 or so reading this and 2-3 were confused I now think I should have put the intro paragraph there.

In a perfect world, everyone would have read the "Fall of Turochlitan," but there are actually people who view the fluff forum who have not read every Scalenex fluff piece.

While I will continue to try to spread light into the darkness, until TV Tropes names a Death trope after me, every sequel or continuation needs to have supporting links and explanations because any thread could be someone's first look at the fluff subforum.

(As you is plain to see, the fact that discomute has written things based off of my fluff has not caused me to get an inflated ego. In fact, my humility is as awe-inspiring as all of my other great traits.)

 

[Kcibrihp-Esurc]

Yeah to be honest it was intentional. I figured most would recognise know the story. They would know the person was talking about humans from the mother / father bit, another clue at skink priests, but they wouldn't know exactly what was going on until Kayishen was mentioned. Given I've got 5 or so reading this and 2-3 were confused I now think I should have put the intro paragraph there.

In a perfect world, everyone would have read the "Fall of Turochlitan," but there are actually people who view the fluff forum who have not read every Scalenex fluff pieces.

While I will continue to try to spread light into the darkness, until TV Tropes names a Death trope after me, every sequel or continuation needs to have supporting links and explanations because any thread could be someone's first look at the fluff subforum.

(As you is plain to see, the fact that discomute has written things based off of my fluff has not caused me to get an inflated ego. In fact, my humility is as awe-inspiring as all of my other great traits.)

Please Master, make more fluff pieces

 

[discomute]

Lol I thought that comment was directed at me for a minute and I'm like 'take it easy, the story wasn't that good'

 

[spawning of Bob]

Wow. A lizard love-in.

I think that Esurc might have stolen the smiley that I "acquired" from the Underempire forum. Then turned it up to 11.

Proving that, in fact, this whole thread is a metaphor for how awesome I actually am.

 

[Kcibrihp-Esurc]

Lol I thought that comment was directed at me for a minute and I'm like 'take it easy, the story wasn't that good'

Actually your fluff pieces are very good, better than some of the 'Acclaimed Authors' that I've read

Make more fluff pieces as well!

 

[Valvorik]

Oh yes, much of the fiction here is better than the short stories GW authorizes about the Old World which are mostly "meh" - someone was paid to write that?

 

[Bowser]

Heartbreaking, but so good! These quick stories set in that world work so amazingly well! You definitely have big talent.