In reply to Bob's tale, here's my take from a Skaven perspective. Cast in order of appearance Shrouded Councillor One – A member of the Council of Thirteen Shrouded Councillor Two – A member of the Council of Thirteen Shrouded Councillor Three – Another member of the Council of Thirteen Higrik – A message-rat Ratty Gnawtail – Lord Admiral of the Council’s fleet, and seated sixth on the Council. Scene 1: [Interior of Council Chambers at Skavenblight. The chamber is very dark, the warp lamps barely giving any light and shadows shroud what Councillors are present.] Shrouded Councillor One: So, they have take-gained Lustria Online back? Shrouded Councillor Two: Yes-yes. Shrouded Councillor Three: It is to be expected. The invasion was only a test-thing of the lizard’s defences. Shrouded Councillor One: Indeed. But I had hope-hoped your Clan’s forces would have held on longer. We may have take-held the lizard-thing home for much longer. Shrouded Councillor Three: [seems to shake with laughter] No-no, the lizard-flesh had a backup plan that would have driven us away anyhow. Shrouded Councillor Two: Yes-yes. Shrouded Councillor One: But I fear-fear if your Clan had held on longer we may have learnt much-much more about how they did it. We would be prepared for the real attack-thing! Shrouded Councillor Three: [Pauses for a while] Which-which Clan was mine again? It’s so dark in here I for-forgot who is who. Shrouded Councillor One: [Is also quiet for a long time] I think-think I might be Vorg...but I’m not-not sure anymore. Weren’t we mean-meant to pay the High Warlock’s warp-energy bill? Shrouded Councillor Two: Yes-yes. Shrouded Councillor Three: Maybe I am High Warlock Matik? Or was I Gnawtail?... Shrouded Councillor Two: No-no. Gnawtail was taken prisoner by our invasion forces. [All Councillors start to laugh] Shrouded Councillor One: At leas-least there’s good news from all this. I’m sick-sick of all his talk-squeaking of boat-things and fish. Shrouded Councillor Two: Yes-yes. Shrouded Councillor Three: I still don’t know-know why he infiltrated them himself. Crazy-mad that one. [Enter Higrik. He peers into the dark with a look of confusion.] Higrik: My lords? Shrouded Councillor Three: Speak-speak fool-meat! Shrouded Councillor Two: Yes-yes. Higrik: Lord Gnawtail has made-made it back, he wants to speak-squeak with you all. Some-something about being taken prisoner by Clan Mors and several unspeakable things we wish-wishes to do to whoever ordered that-that. Shrouded Councillor One: Of all the luck! [Enter Gnawtail looking furious] Ratty Gnawtail: Who-whose idea was it to have their Mors goons grab-snatch me?! [Pauses] Why-why is it so dark in here? Shrouded Councillor Three: We might have forgotten to pay the warp-energy bill. Ratty Gnawtail: What warp-energy bill? [Turns on the warp lamps revealing three cleaning rats sitting at the Council table, there is a note on the Horned Rat’s chair that all Councillors are out to lunch.] Typical. Unshrouded non-Councillor One: [Looks down casted] Do...do we still get to keep the chairs? Ratty Gnawtail: [Long pause] Yes-yes, but I have a little job-thing for you three first... [Curtain]
And they would have gotten away with it too, if ot wasn't for those pesky skinks, and their razordon too!