Spoiler: Read this if you haven't memorized the 8th Ed Army Book This didn't quite get written for the latest story comp, for a few different reasons. The inspiration is one I have used before (in The False Moon War). This is what was written at the beginning of that: On Pages 26 and 27 of the Warhammer Lizardmen Army Book (8th Edition) lie the "Chronicles of the Lizardmen" This timeline contains this entry: 2418 The False Moon War A major blow is struck in the Slann's ongoing war against the Chaos Moon. The Slann Mage-Priest, Tecciztec of Tlaxtlan enacts a ritual aimed at pushing the false moon out of orbit. Although failing to muster enough power to complete the task, the Chaos Moon is sufficiently shaken that chunks of it split off and fall across the world with devastating effect to those beneath. Where The Citadel fears to give detail, the Spawning of Bob steps imprudently into the breach..... Now twice. Just to keep things fresh, the new one is incompatible with the rest of the Bobiverse. Conjunction Zenith The process of relocating and terraforming the world had been long and arduous, but finally the geomantic array was complete. The last remaining step was to open the polar gates. After that, The Great Plan would proceed apace. Nadir Roqtar bellowed the command to hold position, pushed to the back of his lines and mounted the first dozen steps of the Great Pyramid of the Moon to get a better view. The dire status of the battle was instantly clarified for him, illuminated by the sick green light of an impossible second moon. The city proper was overrun, although he could see that a few others of his kin had rallied at the feet of some of the greater pyramids. By contrast, he could see that the enemy numbers were undiminished. His brother lizards had initially been able to limit their losses by giving ground, but there was no more ground to give. Each island of resistance was about to be swamped by the green moon’s tide of evil. The saurus leader spat out the bitter taste that lingered in his mouth and brought his gaze back to the combatants below him. He had never faced such a foe, nor had he heard reports of their kind. The least among them were as swift as a skink and as savage as a cold one, and there were many of greater size and savagery. Many wielded arcane energies as well as sword and claw and fang. Earlier, Roqtar’s weapon had fouled and he had resorted to using his teeth. He had found the creature’s thick blood to have a scorching, sulphurous taste which quickly turned to choking ash in his mouth. The slain creature had not fallen, rather it had flared like an ember and disappeared in smoke and dust. A minor priest skittered down the pyramid steps on some pointless errand. Roqtar seized him by the throat. “Report,” he commanded. “The city is overrun-” The saurus commander shook him violently. “I can see that, you piece of dung. Where are the gods? Where are the lords? Why are they not using their power?” The priest’s crest paled and drooped. “The gods have abandoned us. And the lords... The lesser were at station on the outer bastions. They have fallen already. The First-spawned commune in the chamber of the winds. They are burning!” “What do you mean, ’burning’?” “They are enacting a great ritual which consumes them. I have seen it.” “Who then remains to defend Tlaxtlan?” “The First-spawned commanded Tecciztec of the Fourth Spawning to strike, when the time is right.” Roqtar released the skink. During the exchange, his cohort had dwindled further. “Why does he not strike now, with this enemy at his feet?” “They did not command him to strike at the daemons.” The priest pointed a wavering finger up at the sickly green moon. Apogee “Why do we perform this observation?” Scribe Delqi repointed his stylus with sharp teeth and tested it on his wax tablet. “You need not question, new-spawn.” High Priest Qulat squinted along the sight line at the moons which hung over the equator far to the north. “Only follow the program of centuries.” “What purpose is there to so precisely marking the times and angles of each lunar noon? We can see when Morrslieb waxes by looking up.” “Still your tongue, Delqi. Record the following.” At the moment of each moon’s passing behind the meridian post, the High Priest called the inclination and angles relative to several major constellations. With the observations completed, he checked the tablet for errors. “You must be wise, Delqi, if you understand the puzzle of Morrslieb after only one year as lunar scribe. Why, the scholars of the ages have pored over our observations and those of other observatories to predict its chaotic course. What have you noted that has eluded the Great?” It took a moment for Delqi to assess if the statement might be sarcastic and the question rhetorical. Given that the ancient priest was looking intently at him, the new scribe formed a reply which he hoped would prevent a cut in his rations. “The cursed moon was rising gradually higher and slower until the last ten nights. From then it has reached its zenithal mark and lingers there. Morrslieb is as far away as it ever was, and its influence is weak. The observations are pointless.” “Except tonight it was a fraction below the mark.” “What does it matter?” “Morrslieb was flung into the sky at the Great Catastrophe. In the last cycle it reached its peak. Now it has begun to fall.” Perigee Priest Emexis hunched over and vomited up his stomach contents in a very un-battle magish fashion. Making the situation worse was that they had splashed across his general’s clawed feet. The general took the situation with surprising calmness. “What was that?” The skink coughed. “Breakfast. Sorry, general.” “I had hoped for a shower of lightning bolts or perhaps a comet strike. Your breakfast has not blunted the beastman advance.” “It is the cursed moon, it is so near. See it almost touches the natural moon. When I try to cast-” Emexis began to gag again. While his head was down a spectral amber spear scythed through the lizardman front line leaving a half dozen warriors dead or severely wounded. “The moon doesn’t deter him.” The general spat and pointed his weapon towards the distant bray-shaman who had summoned the magical missile. “The power of chaos waxes with the moon, General Roqtar, and the forces of order wane. Have things ever been worse?” The gnarled general grabbed the skink by the neck, dragged him roughly to his feet and propelled him towards the gap in the front line. “Things have been worse.” Equilibrium “Are you sure?” Somehow the Slann’s attendant made the enquiry in a way which was entirely devoid of interest. Bunxen raised the sheave of parchments in his claws. “I have checked the calculations three times, mighty Attendant Gonxo. Lord Tecciztec must be informed immediately.” Gonxo held up a well decorated claw. “An unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm. The lord is not to be disturbed.” “You don’t understand,” Bunxen squeaked. “It is a unique conjunction – Earth, Moon, Morrslieb and sun will be perfect alignment. The system will be in balance and a simple push could tip it either way. “Let it pass, Astromancer Bunxen. His Lordship will not interrupt his contemplations for you.” “Yes he will!” The normally meek academic shoved Gonxo back onto his tail. As the temple guardian moved to intervene, Bunxen hurled the charts into his face and darted into the chamber beyond. Bunxen had never really speculated about what he might find in the slann’s chamber, but he wasn’t expecting it to be completely open to the night sky and crowded with every piece of astronomic paraphernalia imaginable. As he paused to orientate himself, Gonxo caught up and tackled him to the ground, winding him in the process. “His Lordship will not receive you.” The astromancer rolled himself onto on his back and gasped up at the sun and moons which were beginning to overlap. When he could breathe again he glanced around the chamber. “Where is he? Where is Lord Tecciztec?” Perturbation The Slann knew he would not survive the mission, but his life was an inconsequential thing compared with what he had been entrusted with. He was dying already. The rigours of transdimensional travel had taken their toll, and his chosen vantage had no air. The lack of anything to breathe was less of an issue than the fact that the withering light of the nearby Chaos Moon was completely unattenuated by atmosphere. The time was right. He exhaled his last breath slowly. It formed instantly into ice crystals which tumbled silently and made tiny craters in the dust. Then the dust and surrounding pebbles began to quiver, and soon the entire lunar surface was shuddering as the slann mustered energies which could raise mountains or shift continents. Or provide a push. Conjunction A shower of flaming rocks shrieked above the battlefield and tore smoking furrows through the mass of beastmen. General Roqtar gave Emexis a rough pat on the head as the remaining beasts turned tail and fled. “That’s more like it.” “They weren’t mine.” The heavens-mage gaped as more blazing meteors screamed overhead, searing vivid green after images onto his retinas. “Look at the moons!” Morrslieb was visibly receding as it limped out of the lee of the natural moon. Vast fissures crazed its surface like green, glowing wounds. The face of the other moon was in shadow, but its margins flashed periodically with impact detonations from large chunks of the shattered Chaos moon. “How can this be? A mighty blow has been struck against Cursed Morrslieb.” Roqtar leaned on the haft of his weapon and spat onto the dirt. “It’s about time.”
I like how all of the background and inner workings of this are completely lost on the Saurus general. He's got a personality, that reminds me of a police chief in a buddy cop movie. It may be unorthodox but as long as it gets results he'll do the paperwork. I'll bet he's one week away from retirement. Probably would have gotten a vote from me just for the muppet references alone.
You spotted those? I thought I covered my tracks. Obviously I am scraping the bottom of the spawning pool with finding original names ATM.