Chapter ???+1 "You guys should really observe this," shouted Lord Tlacnatai from the terrace outside the council chamber. Another warp rift has opened near the river, and it is a big one." The remaining council members rushed outside. "Perhaps Bo'b and Y'ttar were successful in their supplications to Revered Tzunki, and this is the flood we wanted," said Priest Ndege. "I told you, Tzunki is gone. The Old Ones are all gone," grated Xholankha. "I am alone." It's not a flood coming out, it's a... it's a huge saurian creature," said Chief Hyperborean. "What is it? A dread saurian? A thunder lizard?" "Neither," stated Lord Txlanputin. "I believe it is a savage, fierce, rapacious, wild thesaurus. What is it doing in our city?" Business Raptor in the City of Gold and Silver Business Raptor in the Chaos Dimension Was tired of his journey of apprehension. “That’s enough,” he decided, “I don’t want to roam. I’ll look for a warpgate to find my way home.” He searched high and low, and a warpgate he found, And from it came a disturbing sound: “Your character is bad, an elf psychopath!” “Oh shut up and go do your English and Math.” Hooray, said Business Raptor with a laugh and a grin, “That sounds like Esurc, I’ll quickly go in.” He popped through the warpgate and shouted “surprise!” But the dimensional transfer made him the wrong size! Business Raptor had grown, he had come back a giant “My friends will accept me,” he said, “they are pliant. “But there are some problems with gargantuan size, Look at my large body! Look at my huge thighs!” “That is a big problem, but this one is worse. I’m back at my home, but so is my curse!” And there was his nemesis, hovering free: The buzzy, annoying, Bloodthirster Bee. “You grown larger, too,” he said to the bee. I think you are bigger, even than me.” “That’s right,” buzzed the bee, “I’m as big as a steeple.” I’ll ravage your city and devour all the people.” “Business Raptor,” he buzzed, “I can’t keep you alive, Because I’m going to make this city my hive.” Business Raptor could not leave Klodorex to this plight. “I’ll stop you, Bad Bee, I am going to fight!” With a thunderous crash, the titans collided, The great city shook and some buildings subsided. They battered and bashed and no holds were barred And the world stopped to watch as the combatants sparred. But Business Raptor though he was giving his best Just couldn't pass his initiative test. The Bloodthirster Bee, with a powerful swing Pierced the saurian's briefcase with the point of his sting. “You are doomed, Business Raptor, my sting is your end.” “But there you are wrong, bee. You’ve forgotten my friend.” The bee paused his stinging. “You are bluffing I think, If you mean Oxyotl, chameleon skink.” “I can’t see him. Where is he? I’ve nothing to fear. "I believe that your skink friend is far and not near. "I will murder you lizard, I will do it right now... "Ack! What is this? A blow dart? But How?" “Oxyotl came out of the warpgate with me, If you look very carefully perhaps you would see The Hunter from the Shadows, the cause of your pains, Oxyotl it was, who put venom in your veins. Can you also find Oxyotl’s Blowpipe, Three Poison Darts and Cursed Slaanesh’s Y-Fronts? The Bloodthirster Bee swelled up and exploded. Business Raptor was so happy, he spontaneously applauded. “Thank you Oxyotl, will you please stay for tea?” “No, I’ll go back to Chaos, more hunting for me.” He passed through the warpgate with a nod and a wink, And no more was seen of the chameleon skink. Business Raptor looked round at his beautiful home. “Adventures are nice, but no more I’ll roam. “With its temples of gold and its towers of silver, I love Klodorex and its view of the... view of... Silver. Rhymes with silver. View of the... Oh mahrlect!” Business Raptor’s gigantic head exploded and showered the city with a fine mist of gore. His huge body toppled like a colossal tree and crashed down into the Panaa-Manaa canal, into which it sank without trace. Up on the balcony, Lord Txlanputin wiped some nasty business off his bald pate. “No, I was wrong. It can’t have been a thesaurus.
Who disturbs my slumber? I can't even return to haunting. How's that for freedom and slavery? Huh, my temple architecture really was repetitive. I smiled to see Business Raptor return, with a search game to boot! Unsure if I can really let his death be canon though - he has businesses to run (how much would Slaanesh's Y-Fronts fetch online?) and a Presidency to get. If only it was lambing season, then BR may have survived his rhyme...
bob please send me the next chapters, i want to add GORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ansd some other stuff....