Edited to be more readable! Ardaris - Cuaqtla Fighting Arena, Kaixilixapati I barely ducked the decapitating blow, but was too slow for the following shield bash and was sent sprawling to the far wall of the arena. Rolling out of the way of the next strike I sprang to my feet, just in time to take a body blow from the side, and once again have a flying lesson. Tzaqor - Cuaqtla Fighting Arena, Kaixilixapati “I don’t think that was what practice was like where she came from” I remarked to Uaxhedin after watching the fight as she got carried out of the arena. Uaxhedin was the head of the Cuaqtlan fishing fleet and one of the highest ranking Skink Chiefs. He chuckled in response and answered, “The fact that she didn’t expect it made her abilities even more obvious, She was clearly as strong as Boqtlan, but he can strike at his full strength without worrying that the amount of force involved will send him flying like a Ripperdactyl!” I knew that it was true of course, I’d seen the fight myself! Not that it was much of a fight… Ayltenq - Cuaqtla Recovery Room, Kaixilixapati “Healing you might be a problem…” Ardaris chuckled weakly at my comment, the fight had left her with three splintered ribs, a punctured lung from said splintered ribs, a broken cheekbone, a crushed knee cap and a shattered shoulder blade, not the prettiest injuries ever, and it left her from looking deceivingly delicate, with her finely carved bone structure and slim build, to looking like she’d lost an argument with a Thunder Lizard. ‘Not too far from the truth really’ I was forced to admit. “If healing me wasn’t a problem I’d worry Ayl-, Aylte-, Ayltenq” she still struggled to pronounce my name, not surprising considering that most prodigals did… I told her to sleep as much as possible and left the recovery room. Thrikth - Tunnels beneath Cuaqtla, Kaixilixapati “HOW WAS THE WARP GRINDER BROKEN!?” I screeched. The slave before me shrank back answering in a pathetic whimper, “The stone was too tough, it’s tip cracked, the others have started mining with picks…” The slave looked up pleadingly at me, silently pleading to live. Scowling, I told the pathetic creature to leave his throne room. I watched the slave scurry out of the door, and Scetto stepped silently from the shadows. The dark furred Skaven was always silent, and could blend into the shadows far more effectively than my own white fur, although he had to be careful, for his eyes glow red in the dark. “Have you found a way onto the island?” I asked, having calmed myself after my rage at the slave, “Yes, but it’s not large enough to invade from, and there is a Human female outside, an injured one.” This puzzled me, a Human on the Island? “I thought the island belonged to the Lizardmen…?” I trailed off, making the statement a question and waited for an answer, “It does belong to the Lizardmen, at least partially, one of them treated the Woman’s wounds.” This puzzled me even more, but I knew that Scetto wasn’t lying, “Did you use your notes to translate their talks?” The question didn’t surprise Scetto so he simply produced his notes and passed them over to his lord, and went off to continue spying. Anerhet - Cuaqtla, Kaixilixapati “Harneni, it’s past midnight!” I groaned but Harneni just waved me quiet, and kept pressing his ear to the ground “I’m telling you, I heard it!” I rubbed his eyes tiredly, I loved his brother, but was starting to get annoyed with this, “ If you heard mining, and you can’t hear it now, maybe the miners decided to go to sleep because it’s midnight” Harneni looked thoughtful, then agreed. Scetto - Tunnels beneath Cuaqtla, Kaixilixapati What happened to the woman? She was battered, bruised and broken, which was strange, men typically didn’t let women fight, but I couldn’t think of another reason for such injuries, I haven’t seen a woman fight since… I put the thought of that accursed place out of my mind. Several weeks later Thrikth - Tunnels beneath Cuaqtla, Kaixilixapati How does stone get that strong? I had asked myself that question multiple times, and was no closer to an answer, We were several weeks behind schedule, but were almost there, the woman had healed, and I had sent Scetto to stage an accident, in case the woman had noticed anything. Ardaris - Kaixilixapati I adored the view over the edges of the cliff face, it was simply breathtaking. I could easily have sat for hours at the panoramic view. Suddenly, something moved and pushed me over the edge. Uaxhedin - Coast near Kaixilixapati You know those moments when something happens, and you get sucked into it against your will? At least the pair didn’t land on my boat. Admittedly, landing on the rocks can’t be very comfortable either. Especially with a skaven landing on top of you Scetto - Coast near Kaixilixapati How was she alive? I had just pushed her over the edge of cliffs several hundred metres high. I took a closer look at her, she looked like that… Realising that she was that vampire, I then swam away as fast as he could. Uaxhedin - Coast near Kaixilixapati “What was that about?!” I asked her as we sailed back to shore, Ardaris frowned, “I think it was trying to kill me.” I looked witheringly at her, she just smiled, “What I meant was: Why it was ready to continue attacking you and then took one look at you and ran.” Ardaris looked thoughtful “I’m not sure, it seemed familiar, but I can’t place why…” Uaxhedin didn’t believe her for a second, but decided not to pressure her. Thrikth - Tunnels beneath Cuaqtla, Kaixilixapati How was it alive after that fall? It was obvious why Scetto ran, if it could survive that fall, what else could it do? I stopped scrying, confident that Scetto would return and offer his theories, patience was key. Scetto would return in his own time. Important Characters: Goqtli- A Third Generation Slann in charge of the Kahoun of Cuaqtla Zlatbris- A Fifth Generation Slann, died in The Great Catastrophe, brought back using the ritual of awakening by Harneni and Anerhet. Boqtlan- The lead Oldblood of Cuaqtla, has the blessings of Itzl, Quetzl and Tepok and is revered by the inhabitants of Cuaqtla as a great leader, when it comes to war Goqtli himself listens to him, rides a Cold One Tzaqor- The highest ranking Skink Chief of Cuaqtla, in military second only to Boqtlan he even outranks most Saurus as he is very good at the positioning of troops in battle, rides a Ripperdactyl, highest ranking ‘air skink’ Ayltenq- The High Skink Priest of Cuaqtla, he is detail intensive and knows of all three priestly lores but has a short attention span and dislikes concentrating on casting more than one lore a battle and Goqtli dislikes taxing him so lets him contribute the amount he does Anerhet- A Minor Tomb King who has split off from the rest of Nehekhara and become reclusive Harneni- A moderately powerful Liche Priest and brother of Anerhet Ardaris- A Vampire who has taken an interest in Anerhet and she has been almost impossible to get rid of, much to Anerhet's dismay! Vasdbo- A Witch Hunter who has dedicated his life to showing the Empire that the Lizardmen are not only vile creatures (E.G not Human or Dwarves (Not including Bretonnians or the Norse or Chaos Dwarves or anything that isn’t the Empire or the Normal ‘Good’ Dwarves) Uaxhedin- A brash Skink chief with a slight capability to use heavens magic, highest ranking ‘sea skink’ Thrikth- The leader of Clan Skritchvrit, a genius by human standards, he knows the power of loyalty and so makes sure that his slaves are well fed and so, they would rather die than betray their master, as they are cunning enough to know that the warpstone isn’t shinier on the other side. Scetto- Thrikth’s master assassin, he has caused the death of many important figures that may have stood in Thrikth’s way, acting with initiative and laying the blame on a different clan, he is single minded, and extremely deadly, he is even faster than elves! Important Locations Kheba- Anerhet's Retreat on the coast it is close to the jungle and far from the attentions of other Tomb Kings yet somehow Ardaris managed to find it! Razed by an Orcish horde Cuaqtla- Located on the island of Kaixilixapati this Kahoun was created as a place to store knowledge and as a focal point for the geomantic web
It obviously is very lonely out at sea. Now we've got lizards, tomb kings and vampires as buddies and gym partners! let me get all the WTMs out of the way first: Tomb Kings sleep? A vampire who enjoys watching the sunset? A merciful Skaven? I thought my characters were messed up... Thanks for the appendices Mr Tolkien, they do help (especially the locations). Your next mission, should you choose to accept it, is to somehow integrate all of that knowledge into the flow of the story - then we will all bask in the glory of your amazing plot ideas without feeling as disorientated a blot toad who woke up with a hangover in the ripperdactyl rookery. With someones phone number written on his arm with indelible marker.
It's called mental fatigue, maybe you don't think enough to experience it. I never said sunset, and she was human once. If you had an amazing view would you admire it when you had the time? Who said either Skaven was merciful? Scetto was trying to give Ardaris a quick death because it made it easier on him and Thrikth, and Thrikth keeps his slaves well-fed to encourage loyalty, as they know that they're better off with him, and so would rather keep up the 'good living' (Not really that good) I'm not that good, or that famous (Despite being easy to find on Google)
Oof. Woah there. Eh, old habits die hard. I more took it as either, being stuck on an island, slaves were less of a common commodity or he's apathetic towards killing them. My curiosity is peaked as to what the Skaven are actually mining for... it could have any number of objectives.
Only I get to insult Bob like that and even I have to limit myself to two retorts for every three barbs he tosses at me. That should be brought out in the story. A Skaven that has to very carefully manage his living resources is almost as noteworthy as a Skaven that is nice. I concur with Bob. That will boost your work from being an enjoyable read into being a very enjoyable read.
Scalenex, I need to have some fun too! Lol I have been trying to include my character list/place list into my pieces, but have found surprisingly few opportunities to do so. Slanpitin: It's not that they're rare, or he's merciful it's just that if he kills them for something that was out of his control, then his built up loyalty would take a nasty blow
Off topic, So the things I need to work are; Run on sentences, some minor readability, and including more from my indexes into my work.
It was the Aussies, and I disagree. The entire commonwealth has once again has put England in a stickey wicket, and soon they'll be drinking cold beer, having tea parties in harbours, giving reasonable attention to their teeth and, most heinously, adding "Zs" and dropping "Us" when posting anonymous fan-fiction on shady internet forums. It's just not cricket, the rotters need a good bowling to. Howzat! Yep. Just keep re-reading, and sleep on it once completed. I always find a fresh view is good for an edit before I post anything. Yes about the indexes: I want you to tell me about the characters in the literature
Oh, that's right! And England got bungled out by Bangladesh, didn't they. Such a shame. There is almost no room beside The Ashes for us to put the World Cup. Back on topic. Esurc - When do we get installment 3?
Don't rush the artist. I'd rather get slow gems than fast pyrite. As Slanputin said before he contradicted himself.