My Fantasy RPG World, Feedback and Ideas appreciated

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Scalenex, May 17, 2019.

  1. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I am social distancing and developing Scarterra. I want to get in the top ten of the World Ember competitors. I think I'm at 23rd though they only update the ranking once a day.

    Besides putting most of my gnome related notes on World Anvil, I compiled my assorted notes on Swynfaredia onto World Anvil here. Most of this stuff was already posted on this thread somewhere but it was spread across many pages, now it's available in an organized manner.

    I also started turning the general discussions on SCIENCE! into articles such as this one on geothermal activity and this one on metalurgy using Pendrake's amazing artwork.

    I didn't just recategorize old notes and posts. Behold the fire planes with a lovely picture accredited to the artist.

    [​IMG]

    Fire Plains article.

    I also made an article for the Demonic Strait though I couldn't find a suitable picture.

    When I get tired of writing, I switch to art. Something I am not as good at. The clipart tree I was using for the Stewards of Korus was copyrighted so I removed it and made my own.

    It's crude but it gets the job done.


    [​IMG]
    Hopefully the symbols of water, earth, wind, and fire are fairly self evident. I chose to make earth a rock rather than a pile of soil because my pile of soil looked a lot like feces.

    Eventually I need to make my own symbols for the rest of the Nine's priesthoods. A lantern for Zarthus, a fireplace floating on water for Mera, a silver mask for Phidas, a axe and hammer crossed for Hallisan, wind swirls for Nami (probably the easiest to make), a sun for Khemra (difficult because there are lots of variations I can do for a sun and I'm not sure what is best, warm and inviting or a scary and imposing eye in the sky), a bloody spear for Maylar (should be relatively easy to make) and I'm still not sure what Greymoria's Children symbol should be.

    I used a non-scale photo of raven eggs to be Tengku eggs.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Here is my heraldry for Mondert.

    [​IMG]

    The symbolism I'm going for is that they are not using a proper anvil but are using an improvised anvil out of volcanic rock. Of course this means I'm going to hammer out some Mondert related articles.
     
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  3. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    Your output is prolific.

    I am helping a friend beta-read a novel he just wrote and will resume spelunking through the beginnings of this thread once done with that (and my poem and short story submission) then I'll come back here.

    I'm trying to keep up with present postings where I feel I have something to contribute.
     
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  4. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    A lot of my World Anvil posts have been me organizing and expanding stuff I put in rough draft form on this thread but here is something completely new. Given that @Warden is my biggest bat fan, he might have some thoughts, I can always change or add things to this.

    I'm not going to post everything I wrote recently on World Anvil. It's Day 9 of World Ember and I'm about 25,000 words on. On top of the ~200,000 words I wrote since April had before since Spring.

    Once World Ember is over, I'm going to try slow down on world building a bit and try to focus on story building which (for me at least) is harder.

    Codenya Kalazotz

    Most kalazotz colonies are either fully independent or they are attached to dwarf communities. One of the few exceptions are the kalazotz of Codenya. Thye make up approximately 1% of Codenya's total population.Codenya kalazotz are sometimes called "Forest Bats." This is not the best name because there are lots of kalazotz and camazotz that live in forests that are not affiliated with Codenya.The kalazotz are friendly with but not particularly close to the wood elves of Codenya. By treaty the kalazotz and wood elves are obligated to aid each other militarily. Kalazotz aid the wood elves periodically by flying scout patrols on the wood elves behalf and the wood elves back up the kalazotz by killing or driving off any camazotz that fly anywhere near Codenya.The forest bats engage in a little bit of trade with the wood elves, but not much. The Codenya kalazotz are mostly self sufficient and are autonomous governing their own affairs. Apart from kalazotz and wood elves that are attached to routine patrols, the kalazotz and wood elves only meet a few times a year.The Codenya kalazotz prefer to make their homes and nests in the tallest trees they can find. There are a few small colonies of tough bats living in northern Codenya but kalazotz generally prefer warm areas so most colonies are located in the southern region of Codenya.The Codenya kalazotz do not follow the wood elf tradition of the Rumspringa or anything like. They very rarely interact with any outsiders apart from wood elves and their other forest allies. The Codenya kalazotz have almost neglibilbe levels of contact with kalazotz outside of Codenya. As a result, they are one of the few kalazotz enclaves that doesn't actively encourage ancestor worship (though they value family ties to living relatives greatly).Compared to other kalazotz, the Cadena kalazotz put less emphasis on Mera worship. Mera is still important, but Korus is their preeminent deity in their routine prayers and religious observances. He's the god of trees and they live in trees after all. The Codenya kalazotz are fairly slowly to assimilate to wood elf customs but Zarthus worship is on the rise.Compared to other kalazotz, Codenya kalazotz are more aggressive outlook and encourage more of a warrior culture, at least among males. On average, Codenya kalazotz are a little bit larger and look slightly more camazotz like in appearance than most kalazotz.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
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  5. Warden
    Slann

    Warden Tenth Spawning

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    I like the Codenya Kalazotz info, good blurb on their culture.

    Curious what they would bother trading with the wood elves? Maybe something that they can easily reach on the top of the trees that the wood elves otherwise couldn't? Feathers/eggs from birds that only live in the canopies? Or maybe honey from bees nests perhaps?


    As one of the forum's resident Bretonnian fans and as someone who has a small shelf of books on heraldry at home, I love all of this :D. Read it all this morning and loved it. I got big into heraldry writing my own fiction/fantasy world, and still love working on it to this day. Need to get back to my fantasy worldbuilding someday, still got a big backlog of it.

    I like the design for the barony of bats too, very unique as well as simple/striking. I could see bat guards wearing a cloth tunic over their armor with a half blue-half black color scheme.

    The Codenya Kalazotz could potentially have a very simple heraldic scheme: brown field, green chief, with a white or black bat on the chief. Makes it look like a bat living on top of a tree :D
     
  6. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    These are all good ideas.

    Also, I can imagine a lot of rare reagents being available on high tree tops too.

    I guess I just assumed their main export would be rope and textiles. One thing pretty much all kalazotz can do well is weave stuff. For kalazotz attached to dwarf nations, that's certainly their main export though the dwarfy kalazotz trade a lot more often than the elfy kalazotz. That's part of the reason why dwarfy kalazotz have so many superb crossbows and other fine metal goods.

    I guess that could contribute to why the Codenya kalazotz are more aggressive. If they want to kill their enemies they are more or less required to enter melee to do it.

    Bows suck with their low upper body strength and they cannot get a full draw while remaining airborne.

    Next up, I need to come up with some cultural stuff for independent kalazotz or kalazotz that have allied with humans some where.

    I'm still working out the details but I like the idea of King Drosst allying with a troupe of camazotz. A nocturnal flying death squad is something every ironfisted tyrant wants to have.

    I'm not sure if I want any kalazotz in the southern hemisphere or not. The southern hemisphere of Scarterra in general is mostly on the back burner.
     
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  7. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    Maybe a bit crude, but maybe something along the lines of guano (bat poop)? Isn't it valuable in some way in real life?

    This thought just occurred to me and I felt I should comment but am already feeling stupid for not having written this.

    Hopefully I'm not channeling Ace Ventura for no reason.
     
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  8. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Rorschach Test, this is an Elven rune I created.

    [​IMG]


    My sole goal was to create a rune that doesn't look like something obscene or silly. Did I succeed?

    Here is the article by they way.

    I also hope I didn't make something that accidentally resembles a character in Mandarin or Japanese but I don't know anyone fluent in these languages to check for me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
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  9. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    This was brought up around the time I posted my general kalazotz article.

    So as an inside joke, Gary Gygax made a pinch of bat guano a material component for the fireball spell in D&D first edition and by tradition, this has carried over into 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th edition. This has carried over into some other fantasy settings.

    In real life, bat guano makes excellent fertilizer. It is not feasible to use bat guano to fertilize cropland (not enough bat poop in the world for that), but if you are a gardener and you are growing something very specific like for a showpiece in a gardening exposition. Most roses that are sold on Valentines Day are genetically engineered odorless frankenstein plants, but the old school fragrant roses that Shakespeare wrote are among the fussiest plants a gardner can try to cultivate. Roses like guano.

    That's because bat guano is rich in nitrates. It's not that bats have magical large intestines. The nitrate content is a result of most bats insect based diets. They cannot digest the insects exoskeletons completely so they get ground down and poopified (scientific term).

    Most bats are insectivores. As far as I know, guano from fruit bats and vampire bats is not very good fertilizer.

    Kalazotz and camazotz are not insectivores unless I invent some kind of giant insect solely for the purpose of my giant bats eating them. I don't feel like doing that. Kalazotz are omnivores that lean towards fruit and fish and camazotz are omnivores that lean towards red meat. The Zotz are really not different from humanoids, so their poop would not be that different from elf poop.

    I don't have to use science, I could SCIENCE! And I could easily say that do to SCIENCE! kalazotz guano could classify as especially gross reagents but I don't see a compelling reason to.

    I suppose they could have magical pet bats that have super guano. I don't have a lot of money for extraneous hobby purchases right now but at some point I might pick up the 5th edition book written by the Runesmith guy Stibbles Guide to Animal Companions for inspiration. He created a lot of magical creatures primarily intended to be exotic pets as opposed to combat threats.

    In fact, humans don't like to have insects buzzing around. Kalazotz are human enough to probably not want insects buzzing around and they hang out in gross places. They could keep ordinary bats around as pets to keep the pests under control, much as humans keep cats.

    Also there is a standard fantasy trope that creatures like to have pets that remind them of themselves.
     
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  10. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Something kind of like this?
    [​IMG]
    I thought a gold bat might show solidarity with the wood elves since green and gold are their national colors, but I don't have to use these colors. There is no rule that vassals have to use the same color schemes as their lords and the kalazotz and wood elves are not near as closely tied as the kalazotz and dwarves.
     
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  11. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    It works as long as the final image is smooth, I think.
     
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  12. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I hope you like this blurb

    Dwarf-Assimilated Kalazotz

    Kalazotz and West Meckelorner dwarves have been allied to some extent for over a 1000 years. Kalazotz have been allied to Stahlheimer dwarves for over 500 years.

    While Stahlheim and Meckelorn are culturally distinct are sort of rivals, the kalazotz of these two nations are not rivals. Kalazotz are far more likely to travel between Meckelorn and Stahlheim than dwarves are, and many in fact seek marriage partners from as far away as possible to maintain genetic diversity (and to keep lines of communication open with distant colonies), so there is a lot of cross pollination.

    Because of this mixing, there are no substantive cultural differences between the two enclaves of kalazotz though some argue that to Stahlheim kalazotz are allies and to Meckeleorn, kalazotz are friends.The dwarf tied kalazotz are growing both because the kalazotz are having pups and because unaligned kalazotz colonies have been immigrating to dwarven lands. Even if they don't move into dwarven lands, kalazotz colonies within and without dwarf lands are willing to meet and even exchange marriage partners leading to trade and cultural diffusion.

    Kalazotz are nearly universally family oriented regardless of subculture, but since assimilating dwarf values they have taken to recording the deeds of their long dead ancestors and practicing active filial piety. Many colonies have begun keeping written records of their family across generation and celebrate major family milestones with stone carvings near their nests, including artistic stelae which are often like upside totem poles carved on stalactites. Given that most dwarf-allied kalazotz nests are hanging from cavern ceilings, a lot of their art and writing is upside down.

    It is common for dwarf-allied kalazotz to recite their lineage in formal settings, though unlike dwarves kalazotz are matrilineal. Son or daughter of ________ daughter of (grandmother) daughter of (great grand mother) etc. The rationale being you are never 100% who the father is.

    Starting in 1313 when the Great Stone was liberated, a lot of the most celebrated kalazotz heroes took on vaguely dwarf-like clan names for their families. Since then, more kalazotz have been adopting clan names. In the centuries since then, more and more kalazotz colonies have chosen clan names. There are over 120 recognized clan names in Meckelorn and over 50 in Stalheim and about 20 clans with colonies in both nations. The numbers are growing as more kalazotz decide to adopt clan identities.

    Some kalazotz clans, about one-in-four Meckelorn clans and about one in ten Stahlheim clans have formalized clan wide alliances with dwarf clans. Ordinary clan alliances between dwarf clans are sealed by marriage but obvious that does not work for kalazotz-dwarf alliances. Even so, kalazotz and dwarves in allied clans consider each other honorary family. These are the kalazotz that dwarves invite home for dinner and visa versa despite that both kalazotz and dwarves find the others' eating habits a little off putting. Allied clans also fight side-by-side in times of war (or you know with dwarves on the ground and kalazotz flying over their heads).

    Kalazotz scouts and skirmish troops are present in both the Meckelorn Armed Forces and the Stahlheim Armed Forces, but their main contributions are in peacetime. Kalazotz are prodigious weavers and provide their dwarf allies with a lot of their clothing and nearly all of their rope. The dwarves provide their kalazotz allies with metal tools. Both sides share food when able.

    One thing the kalazotz picked up from the dwarves is literacy. The kalazotz speak their own language, but they use they never had an alphabet so they use the dwarven script to write. More than a few kalazotz are messengers cause they can carry messages much faster than dwarves can.

    Another thing kalazotz have picked up from dwarves is a fondness for fermented spirits. Sometimes kalazotz drink the same sorts of beverages dwarves do, other times they ferment their own food drinking alcoholic versions dwarves of things dwarves would not normally touch such as fermented rabbit's blood or mashed up grubs (though dwarves have drank such things on a dare).

    Flying under the influence is dangerous. Most kalazotz stay on the ground when they drink, ideally drinking with some dwarf friends to keep them grounded both figuratively and literally, but there is a controversial custom of using safety nets in designated drinking areas. The reason this practice is controversial is because safety nets are ordinarily for very young pups to practice flying safely which effectively infantilizes an adult kalazotz. Because of this most choose to drink in moderation or stay on the ground.

    Another controversial move is a few hardliner kalazotz have instituted the bat equivalent of a temperance movement saying proper kalazotz should not drink at all.


    Also, I made a short article on kalazotz hacky sack, if you have a good or funny Mayan name to use instead of "hacky sack", let me know.
     
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  13. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Dwarf Rangers


    Rangers ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold

    They'd rather give you a song than go digging for gold

    Notched battle axes and old faded leather

    And each night begins a new day

    If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young

    He'll prob'ly just ride away


    Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be rangers

    Don't let 'em chase goats or hunt ten point bucks

    Let 'em be miners and blacksmiths and such


    Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be rangers

    'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone

    Even with someone they love


    Rangers like moonlit night skies and clear mountain mornings

    Little leaves in their beard and starry views in the night

    Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do

    Sometimes won't know how to take him

    He ain't wrong, he's just different but his pride won't let him

    Do things to make you think he's right


    Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be rangers

    Don't let 'em chase goats or hunt ten point bucks

    Let 'em be miners and blacksmiths and such

    Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be rangers

    'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone

    Even with someone they love





    I am course referencing this song in case some of you aren't good ol' country boys like me that recognize the song. I just couldn’t resist writing full alternate lyrics. It’s a very short song, so it wasn’t hard to do. The only reason it’s over two minutes is that it’s sung so slow.



    But in the meantime. Here is my latest article I wrote it in general terms leaving the animals involved non-specific.


    Should they herd goats, llamas, buffalo, exotic magical beasts, all of the above? What should mountain loving livestock of choice for most dwarves be?


    It's braggocious to gush about about my work, but the more I like this concept. I'm thinking maybe one Nilen's adventuring companions should be a dwarf ranger or at the very least they should have a dwarf ranger as a guide for a short while.

    Though I don't know if this will displace my original plan to have a stocky human with short man syndrome that gets triggered when people call him a shaved dwarf. He would probably get fewer unflattering dwarf jokes if he was with an actual dwarf.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2020
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  14. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    I like this concept of the bat people taking on Dwarven customs.

    Nice touch on the upside down ceiling art! Nice wrinkle.
     
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  15. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

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    Goats for sure.

    Aside from that, maybe you could have some form of Mammoth? Which would provide milk in the same way as a cow? I'd love to see Dwarven rangers herding Sabretooth Tigers or Yheti's but I can't seem them providing any sustenance.

    The Mammoth could also be used for clothing actually.
     
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  16. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Stuff I did recently

    Biography for Prince Mondarias (founder of Mondert)

    Biographies for the five True Vampires that made a historical impact on Scarterra

    Dwarf Rangers

    Literal Curse Words

    Offensive language in Scarterra

    If you got feedbacks or suggestions for new articles let me know. If not, that's okay too.

    I'm in 12th place by Word Count this month. I'm not even in the top 100 for most articles. My articles are long and detailed. That's my writing style. Other people are spamming their World Anvil pages with lots and lots of articles in the 50-200 word range.

    For me, that's painful. I can do little more than say "Here is a thing. It exists!" Here is a 84 word blurb I wrote on Silverwood rope
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2020
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  17. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    @Warden, Warden! Waaaaarden!

    I decided to give Kalazotz their own tongue. Zocatec, which beat out "Zoshian" and "Zotzian." I also thought about giving camazotz and kalazotz but decided not to. That's not set in stone though if you come up with a good rationale.

    Do you have any ideas on how to add more of a Mesoamerican touch to this language?

    Zocatec
    Zocatec is the native tongue of most kalazotz. It is loosely based on Grauen. Supposedly, the kalazotz changed their speech with the help of Spirits, of Mera. This theory is supported by the fact that Zocatec has more than a few words in common with Gnomish, another language taught by Mera's minions.

    It also incorporate a lot of bat noises like squeaking and chirping. Because of this, it is difficult for non-kalazotz to learn.

    Camazotz, who speak a dialect of full Grauen have no problem pronouncing the Zocatec tongue, but most refuse to lose or speak the language on sheer principle. A few of the more forward thinking camazotz make an effort to learn the language solely so they can fight kalazotz more effectively.

    Zocatec was not originally created with a writing system (sonar doesn't help kalazotz read in the dark), but dwarf influenced kalazotz have created a written language for Zocatec using Dwarven script as the baseline.
     
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  18. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I found a good public domain falcon. Probably is it wasn't just black and white, it had a lot of gray. If it was just black and white I could have changed the color scheme in about two minutes. Since I had to fill in this coloring book by hand, it took me much longer and there are still a few pixels off here and there.

    Anyway, this is what I'm going to use for the Elven Empire/grey elves for the time being. A blue falcon with periodic orange feathers, purple beak and claws, and a yellow background.

    So it's going to become my generic cover for all Elven Empire. The Elven Empire is one of the few things I have extensive notes on that I have not put on World Anvil yet. Here is the article I wrote on their unique succession laws. Inspired by the movie Stardust.

    [​IMG]

    As for the Elven Empire's vassals. I have yet to decide if the none/few/some/most/all of the vassals use the same succession system in lieu of a more traditional primogeniture system where the eldest inherits.

    I'm 11th place in the World Ember challenge by word-count. It's getting harder to claw my way up because I'm competing with people almost as insane as I am.
     
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  19. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    [​IMG]

    And here is the flag on the infamous warship Eye of the Empress scourge of pirates everywhere.
     
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  20. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    They only update the leaderboard every 24 hours, so I go to sleep wake up and check.

    I moved from 11th place 10th place since the last time I check. Huzzah? No matter how much I move, I always seem to be less than 200 words below the next highest place.

    I started at 57. You have to get 10,000 words to hit the leaderboard and I was the 57th to do so. The first place person dumped 75,000 words into his account within a few days and then stopped and hasn't written a word since. He is kind of like Strewart who was the top poster on L-O for a very long time.

    I'm only measuring quantity, not quality. I couldn't tell you if the first place is guy is good or not because his stuff is all in French.

    I'm not sure if I can beat the cheese eating surrender monkey, I have 36420 words so far, and the top guy has just under 71,000 but I want to get in the top five at least. The second place has been closing the distance very quickly. Like me he has a relatively new account with relatively few fans. It's an introducing futuristic science fantasy world called Amalgama where a spacefaring Earth has two dominant species, humans and trolls with an uneasy peace between them.

    Hopeful I can get a few thousands words done today. I'm going to focus on the Elven Empire and Scaraqua and try to avoid mental tangents.

    For instance I'm not sure Scaraquans would have any practical need for clothing underwater apart from me wanting to avoid an R-rating.
     
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