WARNING:
linear time has little sway in the following post's event descriptions!
I finally got to play again! I participated in a three game tournament at a local store with the Alamo Gamers group. Little did I know that this was the warmup game for the Alamo GT, so I played against armies/lists I had never experienced before. Also I used High Elves instead of Lizardmen because I've been dying to use my now painted phoenix pair. I'm not going to go into a ton of detail as I did not take notes and I'm haven't slept much since the tournament on Saturday. This was a learning experience for me. I had no delusion of grandure. I had no delusions of anything short of what happened actually.
My (unoptomized, thrown together late the night before using whatever I had painted) list was along these lines (model counts may be off a bit as I am doing this from memory):
Archmage (High Magic, Book of Hoeth, 4+ Ward Talisman) deployed in archer unit
Loremaster of Hoeth (Armor of Destiny) depoyed in White Lion unit
15 archers (no command)
15 archers (no command)
30 Lothern SeaGuard
20 White Lions (Banner of the World Dragon)
6 Sword Masters of Hoeth
5 Dragon Princes of Caledor
10 Sisters of Avelorn
Flamespyre Phoenix
Frostheart Phoenix
Game 1 vs Chaos Trolls (Thraug (pretty sure I spelled that horribly wrong) list)
Thraug
Demon Prince (don't recall loadout, but it was "competitive")
Chosen of Chaos (mounted on steed)
8 Trolls
9 Trolls (Thraug goes here)
Chariot
Chariot
Chimera
Chimera
Hell Canon
We called the game in turn 4. I had managed to kill both chariots, the Hell Canon and the unit of 8 trolls was routed. I put a few wonds on one of the Chimeras and peeled a few trolls off of the other unit as well. My opponent killed 3 Dragon Princes, my archers with Archmage (though this unit did hold up the Demon Prince in close combat for 2.5 turns!), the Flamespyre and the Frostheart. The White Lions were severly reduced in number and the Sword Masters were toast (having been breath weaponed by a Chimera).
Game 2 vs Chaos Dwarves
Lvl 4 caster/Engineer in 30 dwarfs
Lvl 2 caster/Engineer in 20 dwarfs
3 Centaurs
10 Halbadiers (halberd gun hybrid weapon)
Hell Canon
Steam Tanky thing (I say thing because they are not quite the same as their name implies)
Flame Thrower thing
Other Warmachine Thing
The first two turns were fairly anti-climactic with magic being out of range for most spells (due to the custom scenario we were running) and S3 shooting and S4 flaming shooting not having much success against flame resistant Dwarfs. To sum this up, my sisters died to the Hell Canon, my Archmage and archers fled the table after a calametous detonation and being rammed by the steam tanky thing. My SeaGuard and Flamespyre chased the Centaurs across the board all game but only managed to kill one of three. My Frostheart killed the Hell Canon in close combat after it was whittled down to a single wound remaining. It then overran into the flame thrower thingy and killed it (MVP for the game right there, not that it changed anything). The Other Warmachine Thing misfired and blew up on its own. The Dragon Princes and White Lions fell to warmachine fire as well. The Sword Master did nothing all game and eventually died in close combat with the block of 30 Dwarfs. They were under the influence of the "Ash spell" and could do nothing to defend themselves. At the end of the match I had my Flamespyre, one unit of archers and Seaguard remaining.
Game 3 vs Vampire counts
Vampire Blender Lord
Lvl 2 Necromancer
Lvl 1 Vampire
20 Grave Guard (Vamp goes here)
20 Crypt Ghouls (Necromancer goes here)
Some absurd number of Zombies (lvl 1 Vamp goes here)
6 Vargeist
6 Horrors (I think that is what they were. They were Monstrous Infantry that could not fly and had spikes in their bodies)
1 Dire Bat
1 Dire Bat
5 Dire Wolves
5 Dire Wolves
The Sisters wiped one unit of Dire Wolves turn one. The Dragon Princes did the same to the second set of Dire Wolves turn two and reformed to hit the Ghouls from behind. Most of my shooting was directed at the Grave Guard or Ghouls depending on board position. Few wounds were had. Dire Bats charge blocked the Dragon Princes, but they did not survive. The sisters were Gaze of Nashed down to two and the Grave Guard were buffed with re-rolls to hit. I charged them with the nearly full strength White Lions, full strength Sword Masters and the Flamespyre Phoenix. When the combat was done, the Phoenix was a marker on the board, the Sword Masters were obliterated and the White Lions/Loremaster were also toast. The Grave Guard were still above 50% strength (yes, very bad dice rolling occurred on my part). The Vargiest managed to get to my Archmage/Archer unit, but not before taking a few rounds of bowfire and a stand and shoot which peeled off two models. The combat ended in a route with only two Vargeist remaining. They then charged another unit of archers and lost another model to stand and shoot. Meanwhile the SeaGuardand Frostheart destroyed the Ghouls and rounded on the Zombies with a flank charge. The game ended with a vampiric victory, but I was not tabled 20 to 0 like I was in the previous two games.
Inspite of the crushing defeats and hilariously bad dice rolling, I have not had so much fun playing Warhammer in my entire Warhammer career (granted it is only two and a half years of sporadic play). I was awarded the consolation prize for being the best punching bag.

I'm not complaining though. It was fun, educational and I got a gift card for the local shop which hosted the tournament. I also met a bunch of "local" (San Antonio is a big place, so local does not necessarily mean they live nearby) players with whom I can play in the future. I think I might have acrued enough enthusiasm to start painting again.
