Contest January-February 2016 Short Story Contest Voting Thread

Sudden bout of competitiveness, eh bob? Why can't we just say everyone's a winner? *puts a flower in the barrel of a blowpipe*

Also that would save us from Scalanex's Tom Sawyer fence-painting prize of being "allowed" to go sit and stress for ages about the next competition theme, and then take all the responsibility when everyone hates it

...

...

Obviously I REALLY want that prize.

 

Who said I have entered? I just want the prize....

Or do I?

 

Sorry

Sorry about that It got out of hand, won't happen again

 

So is there a contingency plan for a 3 way tie? A tie breaker as it were? Or do we dothe unthinkable and make them come up with the next theme... together gasp!

 

Duel to the death, naturally.

 

Don't give @Scolenex any more power than he already has.

I'm not saying these are good ideas - they are just ideas:

- Wait until the death. then Open a new poll for one week - 3 options only. It doesn't need to be on this thread, but it needs good promotion.

- Wait until the death. Contact the three "winners" and get each to choose their favourite "not themselves" option. Hope they don't just do a triangular swap. Give up and call it a draw.

- Wait until the "death". Find a Skaven assassin from somewhere. Arrange no more than two "accidents".

- It's no biggie. L-O authors know they are good. L-O readers know what they like. If the Old One's really desire an awkward and cramped ride on the palanquin of victory, who are we to deny them.

- Forcing three winners to collborate on a theme on an open forum would be hilarious at best, and tragically hilarious at worst.

- Having three separate themes to choose from for the next comp would be quite cool. The Under-Empire never suffered from having 2 unrelated theme prompts. Until the bitter end.

 

I wasn't going to say anything, but...I really need to vote.

 

Ahaha. I hope that was you @pendrake. EXCELLENT choices.

 

It can't have been Pendrake. We haven't been through the bargaining period.

I smell Bamboo.

 

The three way tie is broken! Now it is a two way.

So exciting!

 

Wonderful stories, it was hard to cast my vote. Lots of inspiration, thanks to everyone who made an entry!

 

Gosh, things have changed drastically...and yet, they haven't changed at all. Good work to all voters on maintaining the tie - just a couple more tactical votes and we could make it a 5-way!

 

Don't make me regret resurrecting you.

 

Has Scalanex taught you nothing? Never toy with unnatural forces you cannot comprehend! The mad scientist ALWAYS regrets the resurrection *cackles evilly and lurches away*

 

I am seeing a 12/11/10 — 1st, 2nd, 3rd result...

 

Things are getting intense

 

I hope @Scalenex calls it before anyone messes things up.

 

*Reappears in a cloud of Warpdust*

*Cough* Well that didn't go as expected...Oh, hullo there. Sorry i'm at the eleventh hour and all, but I did say I was going to give some thought-things. And I may be an AI that is three million years out of date...wait no. That's the Holly Hop Drive talking again... *Fiddles with buttons* Sorry, I mean that I strive to come through in the end. It's prolly no good, and I tried to avoid reading other reviews too much but...

Story One: Certainly a very different writing style to what I’m used to and potentially more of the marmite variety. The use of imagery and the slow pacing were definitely the strong points of this piece (the candle analogy especially so) which brought some life to what otherwise could have been a bland “lots of time passed.” The saurus themselves were interesting in that the writer seemed to err on the side of GW lore for them and yet there was a glimmer of some sort of personality at the end. Not sure how I really felt about that take, though I did like the image of statue-like saurus in a never ceasing guard. Descriptions, especially those of the ratfolk, were very nice and gave a feel for what was about to happen.

However, one of the main problems with this piece was how not a lot seemed to happen. I get that this is what the writer was likely aiming for, and in that regard has pulled it off very well, but I kinda wanted to see some of the fight scenes that were only alluded to. I also felt the ending, whilst nicely written was perhaps a little predictable from the start (though no less enjoyable in its execution.) Furthermore, the author’s language seemed to go more dream-like and distant as the story progressed, like some great David Attenborough Old One partially narrating it. I felt a bit mixed about this.

Lastly, perhaps one of the more lizzy-savvy members could answer for me, but saurus still need food, right? It just bugged me whilst reading that none of them seemed to eat anything. A bit nit-picky I know.

Nonetheless, a very enjoyable and interestingly crafted tale! Very nice work!

Story Two: My current knowledge on AoS lore, but I figure this piece covers this future, and covers it exceptionally. The character of Xhotilaq to me seems perfectly balanced between the arguably single-minded war aspect of a saurus and yet having a rich undercurrent of initiative, intelligence, and well earnt pride. The writer has crafted a very likable and awesome protagonist that I found myself rooting for (and if there’s one thing that Ratty Y’ttar likes: it’s character writing.)

The pacing seemed pretty sound with the main character’s backstory covered with a great level of detail but without dominating the focus of the story. Additionally the use of imagery is not overbearing and enjoyably added to the depth of the battle scenes. I particularly enjoyed the almost comedic moment of Xhotilaq’s tactical brilliance.

It’s hard to find any negatives to give this piece, although I found the Slann’s lack of tactical abilities a bit odd. While it’s true that (to my knowledge) Slann are more of a distant, numerical, and utterly alien mindset to the ken of fleshie man-things, that it would just act in such a tactical way seemed something a pampered general having tea and biscuits would do rather than a being of uncalculatable intelligence and prophetic powers. I’d have thought the Slann might realise that the obviously battle experienced Old-Blood would know a thing or two about fighting and let him have a freedom of command (maybe it did at the end.) Again, this is only being nit-picky and I be likely wrong in this judgement.

Overall a marvellous entry!

Story Three: I’m glad that Scalenex fixed that piece as I was a bit confused how it just seemed to end abruptly.

I enjoyed the nice slow pacing that really nicely set up the shape of the temple city and the day to day life of it. The scale of the city itself and its inhabitants are portrayed very true to form and makes for some wonderful insights to the author’s interpretation of Huintzi’s home. There is a lovely sense of realism to the piece and whilst there are no great battles, explosions, or daring action, this entry would have lost everything if it had.

I think the writer could have proofread their entry a bit more as I did find a few mistakes here and there. But once more, this is only a small drop in a sea of excellent writing. Great job!

Story Four: From the title I expected Chaos corrupted lizards being destroyed by a leather coated skink with a wide brimmed hat and potential movie spin offs.

Though this wasn’t the case, it was most certainly a very well written and enjoyable story. In all the grimdarkness that a lot of my fellow Skaven seem to go more and more for, it was great to read a more light-hearted humorous tale as this.

So starting off, the pacing seemed pretty faultless, the gradual build-up of the ritual itself was very nicely done and kept me intrigued with what was going to happen. I’m not sure what an epileptic spectre looks like, but that imagery seemed perfectly apt, the other imagery being similarly enjoyable.

The character of the priest was hilariously devout to the point that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or pray to the Horned Rat Sotek to slap the old git-ness out of him. Tae-tx meanwhile I have nothing to really complain about, he seemed a nice glove fit as the protagonist of the piece.

And then there’s the Slann. When I read the piece I felt a bit mixed about the big toad. The twist was well executed and wrapped up the piece perfectly. However, I felt he was a little too informal sounding for my liking. Maybe I’d have written him as an even more crotchy old git who lectures the priest about how everything he’s been doing is actually wrong. “This isn’t the Ritual of the 14 planets! You’re meant to stir the goblet, intone the thirty nine blessings of Tik the Lesser, enact the sacred dance of Sotek...” culminating with the Slann giving them another seventeen thousand years or so to get it right, and just do the Ceremony of Sotek’s Mighty Fangs for now as even the priest shouldn’t be able to get /that/ wrong! But I fear that a change like that would kill off the humorous impact that this entry’s twist gave us.

Once more, there is precious little I can fault with this piece. Impressive stuff!

Story Five: One of the first GW graphic stories I fell in love with was a Hellbrandt Grimm tale where a group of strangers are gathered around a fire and swap origin stories about the titular character. Just the image of tales being told into the crackling flames is oft a powerful one, and one that I personally find very enjoyable.

So how does The Seraphon Legend hold up? I’d say extremely well.

The three bandits are the main focus of this piece and the author has succeeded in making them not only very individual but builds up a lot of character through their interactions with each other. The tension between the former Witch Hunter and the Aelf were particularly a highlight, as was Halstein’s attempt to scare them at the end.

Each of their legends of the Seraphon was interesting and funny in some of their inaccuracies. The Lord Kroak pun was one of the best lines in the piece and whilst it maybe defused some of the tension the Duardin had been building, it just seemed to work. The ending did seem to come a little suddenly, but I don’t think I can really complain about that. Indeed, the ending was very satisfying and well written.

Yet again I’m going to repeat myself in that there wasn’t really much to criticise about this piece. I suppose there were a few moments such as during the legends themselves where the pacing seemed to slow down a bit more, but that was probably the point. There were a couple areas which could have maybe done with a slight polish and extra proofread but that’s pretty much scraping the barrel for things.

Overall a very enjoyable story and another impressive look into AoS fluff!

Story Six: Wow.

I had to read this piece a couple times to better understand what was going on, but would happily read it again and again. The writing to me had a very slow dreamlike quality to it which worked perfectly for its theme. Like the retreating tide of a dream slowly forgotten, there seemed a great sadness to this piece just in how it read. The plight itself of the living is a powerful one, to go back is death and destruction, to go forwards is to no longer be truly alive and perhaps no longer yourself.

In regard of the debate and feel of the piece, I love it. You can feel anger at the stubbornness not to move forwards and yet feel sorrow at the cost change might bring. It’s even more tragic that this balance likely isn’t sustainable.

Unfortunately this piece is a flawed gem. Parts of the dialogue I found a bit tricky to identify who was speaking and despite enjoying the vagueness of the story, it really wasn’t easy to understand. The pacing itself was perhaps a little too sluggish for readers as well.

And yet I find myself gravitating towards this piece as despite its problems it was still a brilliant gem. It feels like it’s on the cusp of perfection.

Story Seven: It’s always interesting to see people’s takes on established characters like Gotrek and Felix and I was a little saddened they seemed to just make a brief cameo than a full appearance. I also fear that a lot of Lustria Online cameos in this piece went over my head-meat. But I must applaud the author as I usually cameo and reference things a lot myself.

The writing style for this piece was very different. I liked the transition to other characters throughout the story that nicely built everything up. Furthermore it evolved nicely into quite the cast. Normally I would comment that it would have been better if the author had shown a divide between these changes. However, given how often the viewpoints change, this might look a bit silly. I guess maybe the author could have expanded each part to counter that, but I’m not sure.

The action scenes whilst I came away wanting more were still epic and the ending left me wanting to see the conclusion.

I felt that this piece could have been bettered served with a bit more proofreading to iron out a few mistakes here and there. I also felt that a lot of the characters seemed to be lacking something, maybe it was just me.

Story Eight: I loved the measured pacing of this entry.

The character of the Oldblood is subtle and yet so vibrant and strong. His emotions of the end of the Old World felt very genuine and accurate and his joy at the end of the piece was very rewarding.

It’s genuinely difficult to say much about this piece that isn’t a repeat of subtle, rewarding, or poetic. I don’t even think there’s anything I can be picky about, even unjustified pickiness. I guess the only thing could be that I somehow want more...

Well played.

Story Nine: Well, I can say with certainty that this was another highly enjoyable piece.

I really liked this piece for its lack of action scenes which would have ruined the nice slow flow of the story. The entry was about the inner turmoil of the Oldblood and pulled this off admirably.

His reflections on why the losses didn’t bother him to me were the strong point of this piece. For a few moments it seemed to me that he had hit an epiphany only for it to drift away from him. Top notch character writing.

Hum. Once more I can only pick at issues of little consequence. I /guess/ the piece could have been slightly polished with another proofread, but even then there is barely any polishing needed anyway.

Great work!

Story Ten: *Whistle* At this point of this collection of thought-things I’ve got to remark again that the quality of writing in all these entries are scarily, scarily good. And once more, this is another golden entry.

The importance of the Harklberries was very nicely executed and were great to see pop up later in the story. Pacing seemed just right and easily held my interest throughout. I guess a little more of the character of Tzlatoc might have been nice, but that’s a moot point given with how he as a character is so gently teased out as the story progresses.

I suppose something I found odd was how it took a while for Tzlatoc’s name to appear, which made me read back a few times to see where he was first introduced by name.

Otherwise, this is another entry I can find very little to fault with. Sterling work!

Story Eleven: The use of tenses in this piece threw me a bit, maybe I was missing something but I felt it was going a little over the place.

However, this was a very enjoyable piece. The build-up of the Skink’s trials and understanding was nicely done and I was by the end really growing to like the character.

I really feel like this story should have been something longer, it felt like with some more details and more to the trials it could’ve been its own epic rather than a short story. For a short story it felt a bit too much, which is a shame as with the right bit of polishing and expansion, it could turn into a great lengthier tale. Maybe even novel length!

I have to hand it to the author; there is a lot of potential in that piece! A round of Skavenbrew whatever you lizard-things drink!

So, you made it this far through all of that? I think I lost it a few times in this lengthy mass, but thank ye all the same. The writers who entered are truly marvelous lizards worth their scales...apart from any rats hiding among them.

And fear not Mods, I voted a while ago.

 

@Y'ttar Scaletail well worth the wait! Might get people to put in those last minute votes. And as always just enjoyed reading your thoughts on not only the story I wrote but also these stories that I have enjoyed several times over.