Contest July-August 2020 Short Story Contest Reading Thread

Indeed, thirteen cheers for the winner-meat!

As always, a most impressive turnout in writing from everyone present!

 

@Y'ttar Scaletail I should have known the story with Skaven would be yours! This was my favourite one.

 

Congratulations to @Infinity Turtle for the win. Good to see that I got at least 2 votes. And that nonnof the stories was voteless in the end.

Grrr, Imrahil

 

Okay, so now the competition is over, I can do mine. Let me get onto this.

 

The same for me

Grrr, Imrahil

 

Hereby my first four reviews (note that those where written before the writers where announced):


The Engine of Chotec

We find a Saurus warrior in the middle all action, fighting off rat bastards. He is tasked with retrieving an artifact to his home city. He tries to escape the Skaven and in doing so he gets hurt badly. Life flashes before his eyes and a scene from the past shows up.

By the help of one of the Old Ones he ‘regained’ his bodyparts and he can take the artifact back home, before traveling home he needs to get used to his animatronic self.

Some time after returning the artifact to Itza it is used to fight against the vermin army that invaded Lustria.

Thoughts:
I liked the story line. It is nice to get in with an action scene. The flashback to the scene with Nakai is nice to learn more about the main character. I really liked the part of training to become acquainted with his newly gained star-metal body parts. After that part of the story it feels a bit rushed to a closure. The goal of the artifact is briefly added in and the main character seems to be unaware of his part in the final of the story.

To me the new technical body parts would have been enough to carry the theme in this story.


A Kroxigor’s Dream

It starts of in the dream of a Kroxigor, Benam, who longs for a world free of gravity in which he is king. In reality though he is a mere worker for the community of Lizardmen. He is tasked to go along with an expedition to bring back logs of wood for the city’s industry. Amidst this expedition party there are two other Kroxigors, both with their own dreams. Tzag dreams of being a real part of the group and have friends, because his whole spawning was murdered before he arose the pool. Nimbal at the other hand would like to see his old fighting palls again so much that he wants to resurrect them. The three decide to look for an artifact, that they heard of, that possesses the power to bring the dead back to life. In their brief search they get captured and killed by the enemy.

Thoughts:
I like the perspective of the Kroxigors and most of it the way of speaking. This really reflects how dull-minded they come across. The story has a good build up, getting to know the characters and their relationship to each other and the expedition party. This gets to a rather quick finish by their plan to find the artifact and their deaths. Besides that the only link to the theme, to me seemed, a reference to the artifact that can bring back to life.


The Long Game

This story starts in a void, unspecified. In this void a Saurus is aware of his place and thoughts. He takes us to the way he got into this void: fighting in the End Times on the World-that-was. Fleeing the battlefield into the starship to survive. He is severely questioning the method of the Skink priests an Slanns of leaving the Earth to die. After this memory we are back in the void to discover he is still in the starship getting out of his ‘sleep’. Here it is the plan of the Slann is explained to him and he sets aside his anger to bring it to the enemy.

Before we see the Lizardmen enter the battlefield we meet the battlefield and its attenders. This appears to be the 41st millennium and the Space Marines are fighting the Chaos hordes. After all seems lost the Lizardmen belt into the enemy with some great new technical advanced weaponry to slay Chaos in its tracks.

Thoughts:
I like stories that start somewhere in the middle of the storyline and after that is told how we got there. The memory paints a very vivid and detailed picture of the End Times and the struggle it brought for the ones that were not in on the Great Plan. The story made a great twist after Ach’akaan has woken up. The expected end was that they re-emerge in the Age of Sigmar, but they went for the even longer game to the 41st millennium.

The writing was still as detailed and fine as the first part, but somehow it couldn’t please me as much as the first half. It definitely filled the brief on Technically advancements.


Getting Ahead in the Railroad Business

Two Skinks are on their way to a human encampment. These humans are building the railroad trough the Badlands. This operation is lead by a wealthy and important Dwarf. The work on the railroad has been stuck due to a monster of some sort. This is were the Skinks come in, they are being hired to slay this monster. In their first encounter the can’t seem to kill it and they discover that it likes blood sausage. At the second encounter they use this knowledge to destroy the thing.

Thoughts:
To me it felt like a crossover between Warhammer and the Wild West. I liked that the fact that the Skinks are hired for their skill. Interesting monster, very well described. The offsetting thing for me was the short period of time needed to kill the beast. Also the use of different names for the humans, I would have liked to see some continuity.

Grrr, Imrahil

 

A big congratulations to everyone again for another great contest! It’s always really fun to write and discuss these sorts of things and often the voting thread is just as entertaining as the stories themselves

I’ll see you all in the next Comp!

 

the second part of my reviews:

The Machine

In this story a Saurus, named T’lozii, visits a Skink inventor, named Atamai to see his latest creation. This piece of machinery has to protect the Lizardmen community and help fight in battle against all foes. Though Atamai does not have a good reputation, due to failure of inventions in the past, his latest invention can not other then redeem him. Being voice controlled the machine picks up a command out of a conversation the two are having: Kill the Slann!

In the meantime we discover that a group of Skaven are tunneling under the city, sent out on a secret task to kill the Slann. We follow both parties closing in on the Slann in his quarters. The rats succeed to penetrate the Slann’s temple and are ready to strike. At the same time the machine enters the room and mulls almost all Skaven in its path. In all of this bloodshed the machine gets stuck on the remnants of some of the rats and falls over. T’lozii and Atamai who tried to catch up with the machine are in great relieve that all ended in a good way.

Thoughts:
I liked the style of writing, to follow two parties on their journey. But from the first and second act I kind of directly concluded the ending of the story. I was hoping to be wrong, because I like to be surprised. Sadly after all that surprise did not come. Also I think it was a missed opportunity to not use more Skaven-like lThis story kept me in suspense for an other story… that of a frog and the automatic fruit juicer.


The Knowledge of Tlaxtlan

The Skink Chief Amayatl approaches a seemingly abandoned city of Tlaxtlan. Once inside he discovers the absence of activity by the inhabitants of this once great stronghold. Guided by a small Skink he turns to the big ziggurat in the center of the city. Atop the ziggurat he meets a curious skink, Forst, who is able to see and know things before they actually happen. Forst and the other skinks of Tlaxtlan has seen the future through their ‘Eyes of God’ and know the outcome of action that would be taken right now. This knowledge has made the whole city purposeless, because the future is unchangeable, so why make any effort. Amayatl came to find help for his cause to fight the skaven, but he finds lack of action. In his anger and disappointment he kills Forst, just as was foreseen.

Thoughts:
This story made me realize that knowing the future isn’t always for the best. There are a lot of films made around the same concept, knowing the future and not being able to do anything to change it. I like this genre. The sad thing is that nobody in Tlaxtlan is making any effort what so ever to live a happy life, so it seems. I like the line: ‘I cannot. Or will not, there is no difference.’ The ending is perfectly fitting for this story.


Of Scales and Sigmarite

This battle is set between the Skaven and Seraphon plus Stormcast Eternal. The Skaven inventor known as Screwfang as made this giant war machine to kill opposing soldiers. By cunning precision and brute force Tox, the Saurus of the Darkened Scale, is able to turn the machine in to overload and destruction. Screwfang escaped to his lair to grab some of his other inventions to prolong the fight. His enemy tracks him down and destroys him and all his inventions and plans so they may never see the light of day again.

Thoughts:
Apart from the start of the story this is mainly a tail of three persons.
I like that the Saurus and the Stormcast are working together to resemble the allegiance in a tabletop game. I feel that there was a missed opportunity to make Screwfang even more Skaven by the way he could have talked-speak. It was great to see a technically advancement on the opposing side to the Seraphon. The use of a blowpipe by the Tox, as I feel this is more a Skink’s weapon of choice and not a Saurus’.

Grrr, Imrahil

 

Yeah I know that that's why I wrote it like that

Grrr, Imrahil