Blog Marcus' other projects

if the rules say "only trading" then the rules are "only trading" doesn't matter if it's functionally the same

 

Then you fight the rules!

 

Yes they do.but what if I don't want to get rid of anything?

 

I explained that to her. No dice

 

Fighting would cause anger, and lead to her deciding paperwork the best course of action.

 

Of course you quote palpatine

 

You must learn not to set me up like that!

 

Give me advice then

 

meh, I think your best bet would be to try what I agreed upon with my girlfriend, limit it to a certain amount per month. The argument being that a year is a very long period of time and that with a shorter period, but a limit on the amount, it'd be easier to pace yourself. It prevents you from overrunning the appartement while you still get to buy stuff. Preferably add in an exception for utilities to this such as paints and what not though, if you limit it to a 100 and you need to resupply 50,- worth of paint you're not going to get much that month... Plus, with a monthly limit you don't end up in the awkward situation where you buy 400,- at once and suddenly have a mountain of stuff laying around
.
Also, obviously add in an agreement that should a sufficiently good deal come around you get to at least propose it to her. 400 for 80 is at least something worth looking into.

Other than that, getting storage boxes helped convincing my girlfriend as well. Especially as the majority of the relativly "lame" models can be put in there. A carnosaur looks fancy enough to put on a shelve, a 100 saurus warriors don't have the same appeal.

Providing some comprimise here should also help with all the anger and such I guess... so there's that as an added bonus.

 

The apartment is over-run between my stuff and hers. I can see her asking me to focus on storage

 

Advice on your predicament or not setting me up for Star Wars replies?

 

Predicament, plz

 

Talk it out.

What is her primary issue? Lack of space? Lack of funds? Other?

 

House is constantly cluttered (I think she has an undiagnosed mild form of claustrophobia now, though I have not told her so)

I don't spend time on housework as much as I should

All my time devoted to hobbies (SCA and Miniatures)

Don't respect her.

 

If you're certain of that, try to get her proper help for it. Dealing with stuff like that without it is exhausting, and burn-outs as a consequence of that aren't much fun either.

Also, back on the topic of models and such. Do you have your stuff in its own room/space? Especially the place you paint new models could easily become a trigger if that happens to be say the kitchen table and models and paint slowly start taking it over. So if you can give it it's own place, and then make sure the models don't leave that place, that will help alot with this sorta stuff.

That at least isn't too difficult to solve, assuming that's all there is to it.

Does she like the miniatures, if so you could try to involve her (a bit) into it, let her paint her favorite models from your stuff that sorta thing. Also what's SCA?

Other than that, it's mostly just stating the Obvious, spend more time with her and such.
And possibly look into couples therapy and such. Might also make the step for seeking help with the suspected claustrophobia easier.

 

The SCA is a medieval recreationist society. We are both members. I am more active than she is. It takes up the occasional weekend.

She does like Miniatures, but not as much as I do and she doesn't have time for them (full time temp job plus finishing her degree)

While I do have a relative amount of time to spend on hobbies. I'll take pictures and show y'all the apartment later. Just don't mob me afterwards lol.

That is all either planned or being done. I see it from her perspective, I just can't jump through the hoop that says "she is trying to restrict you" very well

 

neat.

Try asking if she'd be okay with a monthly limit instead of a yearly limit like I suggested earlier. It'l feel like much less of a restriction. If that still feels
too high for her put the amount you get to spend per month low enough that you can't buy much in one month, but can at least buy something significant every 2-3 months, say the equivalent of half a box of skinks/month or something like that (whatever the cost of that is in your local currency). That way she doesn't get overwhelmed with stuff while you still get to continue your hobby. It'l also solve the issue of discovering you've run out of paint or shields, as those can just be bought instead of the half a box of skinks.

And other than that, yea restrictions and compremise are part of it I suppose...