Fiction Song of the Old Ones, my attempt at fake religious poetry

[Scalenex]

Song of the Old Ones

Song of the Old Ones
Slann Chapter​

Praise be the Old Ones and all they devise

First of the First all hail the mighty Slann

Mighty in Magic, powerful and wise

Upon their minds rests the Old Ones’ Great Plan

Earth, sea, flame, sky, over all they tower

Cold blood and warm blood, all life shall serve

Light, shadow, death yield high magic power

All praises and honors the Slann deserve

Five Spawnings will oversee the world sphere

Eternally, they serve their divine roles

Preserved in death, maintain their bodies here

Great Rituals preserve their mighty souls

Just below the Old Ones, the Slann stand tall

Strong and wise, with dominion over all

Song of the Old Ones
Saurus Chapter​

Praise be the Old Ones and all that they spawn

Praise be the Saurus second of the First

Warring till all Anathema are gone

Destroying the Old Foes, Fallen and cursed

They serve as fang and talon of the Slann

Hides and scale of their masters faithfully

Safeguard the Wise Ones serving the Great Plan

For the Slann they battle endlessly

Age and sickness the Saurus will not know

Only through battle may Saurus find death

Each scar endured the Saurus shall grow

Stronger and stronger till their final breath

Strong for all First, they help all the others

Standing strong with their spawning brothers

Song of the Old Ones
Skink Chapter​

Praise be the Old Ones and all that they make

Praise be the Skinks, Third spawning of the First

Tasks too small for Slann the Skinks undertake

The First’s vital tasks between Skinks disbursed

What Saurus cannot destroy, skinks shall waylay

When Saurus rage grows too strong, Skinks restrain

Through cunning and poison, foes they shall slay

Outside of war, the cities they maintain

From many spawnings the Skinks are amassed

Workers, warriors, masters of the beast

Each Skink spawned with his own preordained caste

All serve the Great Plan both greatest and least

Their vital tasks are many and varied

Upon their backs, other First carried

Song of the Old Ones
Third Race​

Praise to the Old Ones and all that they birth

Third of their creations, brave, strong, and stern

Stone and metal they will work from the earth

Metal talons and fangs might they can earn

Runic power, mightiest of the Third

Bind Chaos power in metal in stone

Use of symbol, glyph, and powerful word

Harness the power for Order alone

The mountains and hills the Third will defend

Like the mountains that sustain them they stand

Anathema and Old Foes they shall rend

Their strength and courage meets every demand

Beware the Third Race’s greed; take them to task

Should the Third’s reach exceed their grasp

Song of the Old Ones
Fifth Race​

Praise to the Old Ones and all they beget

Their Fifth undertaking, sadly is crude

Their incomplete state, the Old Ones regret

Their drives are set for obtaining of food

Almost giant size or small like a runt

Food fuels their bodies, hunger fuels their deeds

Achieving success, their methods are blunt

Great resourcefulness, they meet all their needs

The aura of Chaos, they shall resist

Ultimate survivors when others fail

Against all dangers the eaters persist

Tenacity allows them to prevail

Beware the Fifth Race’s hunger and lust

They’re greedy and selfish, unworthy of trust

 

[Scalenex]

Poem 7, now this is almost definitely a Tolkien fan. Considering we play warhammer that is not a good clue. The Sauric Ace had previously written songs to the old ones. Rehashing old ground? I think I will chalk this one up to TDF. Beautifully written and exceeds the grade school expectation of a poem. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

Well I'm not Bowser and I wrote this. I thought I gave it away with this. I was sketching a very rough draft for a long time. My goal was to come up with a stylized, rituatilized, but relatively simple description of how Skinks and Saurus are supposed to see themselves and the other Forces of Order, at least on paper.

It was loosely based on Tolkien's poem that Treebeard sang about the Free people. I also toyed with basing the format on the Beatitudes to convey a religious aspect. Blessed are the Saurus...Blessed are the Skinks, but that would be an insult to the big JC. I don't have a problem with religious allegories in fiction. I like Aslan. The point of the Beatitudes was that they are counterintuitives. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are those who are persecuted. The Beatitudes challenged paradigms, and I'm not doing that. My poem is creating the Lizardmen's status quo, not challenging it.

Does anyone here have a background in literature and/or poetry. If you give me a ABABAB rhythm and rhyme scheme I can write something to fit it, but I'm really bad at free form. What is a good pentameter for a religiously loaded epic poem?

Then TD4 gave me this format and I opted to use it.

Oh man. Most real-world religious epics are very hard to imitate. Epic poetry in general doesn't use rhymes, but rather specific rhythms and technical devices, making them difficult to write and kind of weird to read for newbs like me. They were often intended for great recitals by trained orators, and on the page they can feel heavy and dull. It's normally better just to have a simple rhyme, like couplets (business raptor ftw!) or the classic ABCB stanzas that go on for as long as you like. Truth is, epicness comes more from the subject matter and tone than the rhyme or rhythm.

The easiest pre-made form to recommend is of course a sonnet, which can be just as epic as anything else, but is pretty simple to read and write. The rhyme is ABABCDCDEFEFGG. The rhythm is iambic pentameter: 10 syllables per line, with stress on every second syllable, like a heartbeat. If you want more than 14 lines you can string multiple sonnets together, thinking of each one as a "chapter". But don't enslave yourself to form, and feel free to branch out into new patterns if you feel they suit the style you're going for.

Thank you to @thedarkfourth for the format advice. Thankyou to @pendrake and @spawning of Bob for proofreading assistance.

I plan to tinker with this. I plan to write about Kroxigor, Elves, Humans, and Ogres/Halflings (the Eaters). I have at least a verse or two on everyone but the Eaters. Frankly, I think the Halflings and Ogres are very poorly written by GW writers and I wish they were not part of the setting.

I haven't closed myself off to verses about topics other the races that compose the Forces of Order, but my ideas are less concrete.

I also toyed with the idea of prefacing chapters of my fluff pieces with excerpts from the Song of the Old Ones if it can enhance the story.

Anyone I'm open to suggestions and I will probably polish my poem in very slow increments.

 

[pendrake]

In your epic: make the Ogres and Halflings the afterthoughts that they actually were. Just ignore the most recent official fluff.

 

[Killer Angel]

Anyone I'm open to suggestions and I will probably polish my poem in very slow increments.

Well, I have voted for your poem, so to me it works as it is.