Star Trek vs. Star Wars (and a collection of memes)

Red has Return of the Jedi. Which is my favourite Star Wars movie of all time.

Thus I am red.

(Unfortunately it includes the Last Jedi... BOOOOOO!!!!)

 

Interesting choice, while your love of Episode V is the clear reason why you chose blue, I didn't think you'd be willing to endure what is one of the biggest candidates for the worst Star Wars film ever (Episode IX) and your least favourite of the Prequel Trilogy (Episode II).

To be honest for me it's a difficult one. Both options have a stellar Prequel film, an average OT film and a poor Sequel film in them.

I like Episodes II and III about equally I think, so it's a tie there for me.

With regards to the OT choices, on one hand I personally like the Palpatine scenes in Episode VI better than any of the scenes in Episode V, but on the other hand the Ewok scenes are significantly more stupid than anything in Episode V, even the Han/Leia romance. I honestly can't decide as to which one I'd want to watch less than the other, and am tied here too.

Regarding the two Sequel Trilogy films, IX looks more appealing than VIII on the surface to me simply because of the great concepts they introduced (even if they thoroughly wasted them) - the Sith planet Exegol, resurrected Palpatine and his new Sith cult with Sith Troopers, e.t.c. But now that I think about it, there were stupid moments in IX (SPEHSS HORSEZ beating Sith Troopers, Rey, the African tribal festival of those grey things on yet another desert planet, Rey, Hux becoming a Resistance spy and then dispatched without any redemption for his character, did I mention Rey?) that make VIII seem relatively enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, they definitely made some wrong moves and missed out some opportunities (they should have killed off Leia entirely rather than make her go Superman mode, and they should have preserved Snoke and illustrated his background as the resurrected shell of Darth Plagueis), but the more I delve into Episode IX, the more shit and pointless moments enter my brain and make me cringe.

All right, sod it, I'll take the Ewoks to avoid all the dreadful recesses in the plot of Episode IX and the tiresome escapism and bickering in Episode V. I'm choosing red. At least I get to enjoy the grimdarkness of Episode III in all its glory and the Palpatine moments in Episode VI, plus the occasional moments in The Last Jedi that shit on Episode VII, which is the best thing about it. Anything and anyone that shits on the Farce Awakens is something/someone I have some respect for.


To throw some Chaos into the mix, what about if there was a yellow pill with Episodes I, IV and VII in it added to the mix? That'd spice things up for me, because on one hand there is The Phantom Menace, my favourite Episode of them all, and Episode IV, probably what I perceive to be the best OT film, and on the other there's the utterly abominable Farce Awakens that ruined the Sequel Trilogy from the start. Perhaps I'd still choose that one given I could just watch Episodes I and IV and enjoy them a lot, and only watch VII once every ten years when I've forgotten roughly what happened.

 

For me, the ST movies are complete throwaways. They don't even factor into the equation. So the fact that The Last Jedi is better than the Rise of Skywalker (the worst movie of all nine) is irrelevant.

It's a tough choice because:
Episode V > Episode VI

Episode II < Episode III

 

Interesting. I'll choose...

 

Neither, no Christmas Special, I'm out. If I can't have Bea Arthur serenading the rough drunks in the Mos Eisley Cantina, and old Wookie having a private moment while watching Diahann Carroll, it just isn't a good Star Wars marathon.

 

To be a bit more fair about picking one of the actual choices, I'd probably have to go Red Pill. If I'm reading the choices correctly, that's the one with Revenge, Last Jedi, and Return, correct? I probably consider Revenge my least enjoyable of the PT, but at least I've already seen it. Since The Last Jedi broke me, I'll just take a nap while it plays.

Although I really enjoy Empire, Clones and (especially) Rise are of minor and no interest respectively.

 

If Chris Rock had said that, Anakin would have done a lot more than just slap him

 

Empire Strikes Back is in the blue pill group.

It isn't helpful that the pills are presented the opposite way round to the groups they represent in the picture, but Episodes II, V and IX are in the blue pill group as per their blue titles, while Episodes III, VI and VIII are in the red pill group as per their red titles.

 

I disagree - what's the point in choosing films with the same coloured titles if they're going to be the opposite colours of the pills they mean to represent? - but I understand your choice and the reason behind it.

The Original and Sequel Trilogies definitely fit this meme, but I've always seen Episodes I-III, The Clone Wars, Rogue One and Solo to a lesser extent as being on the darker side, so they'd have more in common with the Goth girl than the multicoloured hippy.

Perhaps not as utterly grimdark as 40K, but definitely somewhere in the middle between it and the tacky fun-fests that are Episodes IV-IX.

 

Oh. Maybe I'm confused? I assumed the color of the pill matched the color the movie titles. @NIGHTBRINGER why is your challenge so confusing? Ha ha!

 

Tacky fun-fests? Sigh... smh

 

It does, but it appears @Killer Angel has been misled by the picture arranging the two sets of film titles the wrong way around. Whoever made that meme needs to go to Specsavers

Oh yes, definitely tacky in places. You do know that the OT is pretty much George Lucas' take on Flash Gordon, don't you? And while the OT doesn't have all the cheesiness of Flash, to me there are a few outrageous moments that whiff of it:

• Stormtroopers missing Han at point blank range when he chases them down that passageway on the Death Star and they round the corner to try and set up an ambush that they then balls-up (supposedly explained by them 'letting the Rebels escape', but they could easily have shot Han and still let the others escape - indeed doing that would make the illusion look all the more convincing that the survivors escaped through a deadly breakout)
• Leia lying in the trademark sexy-girl position when Luke bumbles into her cell, even though she has supposedly been tortured for information on the Rebel base not fifteen minutes before, drawling 'Aren't you too short for a Stormtrooper?' in her most seductive voice
• The incompetence of the Imperial Admiral in V that just happened to park too close to Hoth to stop the Rebel Transport escaping
• The Millennium Falcon being able to outmanoeuvre TIE Fighters half its size, despite the former being an old tub and the latter being famed for their speed and agility
• Boba Fett standing around thinking he's the shit when he accomplishes pretty much nothing
• The Bikini - of course this in part represents the tackiness of Jabba's Palace, but you can tell it was purely introduced to appeal to horny teenage boys
• Any scene with the Ewoks beating the Imperial troops with Stone-Age axes and bows

To be fair the Sequel Trilogy is equally cringeworthy in places, if not more:

• The Gods-awful initial scene in Maz's castle in The Farce Awakens, with the cheesy music, the giant fat alien lounging with the female First Order spy and Maz yelling out "HAAAAN SOLO!"
• "REYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"
• The repeat Trench Run scene
• The end scene of that film where Rey is just standing there holding the Lightsaber out to Luke, and he just stares back at her looking mildly peeved, for at least a whole minute until the credits run
• Any scene where they make First Order Stormtroopers look like mugs
• More Millennium Falcon superpower scenes
• Rey's invincibility - particularly when she outshoots a Stormtrooper using a standard blaster with a tiny pistol, and defeating Kylo the first time despite being untrained
• Any scene where they shoehorn in the weirdest aliens with no backstory or homeworld to speak of (particularly relevant in the Sequel Trilogy and also crops up in Solo)

But by contrast I can think of no cheesy scenes in Rogue One, and only a few small scenes in Episodes I-III, and that's stretching things:

• The Jar Jar fart scene in Episode I - Yeah I'll give you that one. I agree that wasn't necessary, but fortunately the film is quick to move on from it, as opposed to some Sequel Trilogy scenes which feel painfully long in comparison.
• The scene in the club - But as with the bikini scene to some extent this is more to underline the seedy nature of the club, and when I watch this scene the suspense of the two Jedi playing cat-and-mouse with Zam zones out of the tackiness of the venue anyway, as opposed to the bikini scene where it's near-impossible to be distracted from it at points.
  
• "I don't like sand" - Yes I can understand why this makes people cringe, but to be honest having grown up in a desert wasteland for 9 years and then having been trained by an order of celibate warrior-monks for another 10, he's hardly going to be Casanova is he?
• Padme's involuntary crop-top job in the Geonosian Arena - I can see this may have been intended to have the same effect as the Leia bikini scenes, but it's not as glaringly obviously tacky as the latter (which includes a full-on model-style camera-pan down Carrie Fisher's body).

Funnily enough they mostly come from one film - Episode II - but then it's likely that's the main reason why it has shifted to become everyone's least favourite Prequel. The fact I can't think of any tacky scenes in III and can only think of one in I says a lot.

 

It does say a lot... it says your bias has completely clouded your ability to access the film.