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Army Fluff Tziruzitza's prologue

Thanks! I like to take off-hand comments in the fluff and make my own off-hand comments about them, to see where they lead... In this case, it's the "innate ability to decipher the Slann's cryptic thoughts". Does that mean they'd get bored without it? Don't know... yet :)

(Re the derailing, @Kcibrihp-Esurc and @Bob, don't worry about it - I started it, I think, by asking the question about what I was missing!)
 
My threshold for "a little less info is better" is if the info is enough to justify an interesting character arc in the story, or doesn't add much that couldn't just come out in the story or a line of random dialogue.

With his permission, I did a review of @Kcibrihp-Esurc 's dramatis personae (or whatever the plural of that is) to check for examples of character backgrounds which seemed right to me, and ones which gave away more than needed. Note that hindsight is a wonderful thing, and that I made this assessment long after reading the whole story arc.

In the strange alliances character list, I think Tzaqor and Uexhadin are about right and Ayltenq is too much. The doomed house guard didn't make it through to the final edit. I think his name was Redshirtus, but with Esurc, who can tell? Come back Ardaris, you were so young....
 
I think I agree with you on the threshold, to be honest. I'm writing Tziruzitza's "origin" at the moment, and in retrospect I see exactly what you meant; it will lose a bit of impact for anyone who's read her bio (hence why I've retroactively spoilered the bio's...).

Lesson given, lesson learned - thanks! :)
 
spawning of Bob said:
I wouldn't say "remove the backgrounds now" because they are helpful in a world of really long unpronounceable names, but you can keep them vague. And Tziruzitza's origin story particularly could be done as a stand alone chapter / story for our reading pleasure.
Don't read this until AFTER you have a good vision of what you want to write. I would certainly have trouble not being influenced by it. origin story
/QUOTE]
Click to expand...

Aww, thanks :cat: he may re-appear ;)*

*and he may most likely not - I did have plans but...well...life

@Tziruzitza I agree with Bob on this one - use gendered pronouns. I also contemplated using the 'it' as it suited the sexless background of the Lizardmen, however in terms of writing it a) alienates the audience from the character than using "he" or "she", and b) can become confusing when you have multiple its, some of which may be events, objects, or other "things" which interact with the characters. Essentially, a gendered pronoun helps to avoid the guessing game of "which it is it?" The ancient Greeks used "he" when in reference to anyone/humanity in general as a grammatical device, so I wouldn't worry about taking a leaf from their book (side topic: interesting article here on how ancient Greek gender in grammar affects biblical translation).

I enjoyed it overall, now I'm just awaiting the forthcoming stories!

@spawning of Bob more on this female Slann please. Sounds like an interesting gateway into exploring pre-cataclysm fluff



 
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