Wargaming College Essay Idea (OPINIONS NEEDED)

[E_Ran358]

Hello, currently I am a senior in high school and am in the midst of the college application process and its time to write a 650 word college essay for the common app. I am taking AP comp currently and my teacher said the key to a good college essay is to:
-highlight something that isn't already displayed in your college application.
-don't write a resume describing your accomplishments but rather use them to support your essay's focus.
-make yourself memorable, make the admissions officer have a nickname for your essay.
-get strait to the point and make sure what you write about, describes you.

In all honesty, I am a middle income white kid who does well in school, lives in Connecticut, and hasn't had to overcome many challenges, like say- the loss of a parent. I am artistic (I am submitting a 2D portfolio), I am rather academic (have around a 3.8 weighted GPA), and I am athletic (varsity lacrosse captain).

Some qualities I would like to highlight to the admissions officers are my:
-"open mindedness"
-creativity
-holistic interests

I thoroughly enjoy playing warhammer as a hobby and playing the zombie pen and paper game Outbreak Undead with a group of friends. I would like to use these interest to highlight my "open minded" personality. Warhammer (through a societal lens) seems to be the antithesis of lacrosse and the sport's developing stereotype of a "lax bro".

Though I lack the diversity that many think of - physical and race diversity. I hold a great deal of diversity in the sense of interest.

In my essay I will describe my:
-introduction into wargaming
-introducing my friends to wargaming
-highlight their preconceived stereotypes on collecting miniatures
-how I was able to use my other strengths to enhance my hobby (artistic - creating scenery and paint my LIZARDMEN!!!) (communication skills - make whole new friends at my gaming club) (academics and problem solving - be successful in tournaments, creating a balanced list and dealing with problems that are presented in games)
-(these qualities are demonstrated rather abstractly let me know if you think that will work)
Bring it all together to demonstrate my ability to try new things.


I believe the take on this essay is unique. Admission officers probably won't receive another one like this and therefore makes it quite memorable. Lastly it is truthful and very representative of who I am. I love the wargaming community and the commitment the hobby requires.

I am concerned with the essays ability to support my strength, and make my interest in wargaming sound like something that should make me a prime choice for an admissions officer. In addition, I have only 650 words to do all of the above, and if an admissions officer has no idea what I am talking about, it could detract from my points.

Let me know your opinion! Should I go for it? Is it too risky? I look forward to hearing from you all.

(if it helps to know where I'm applying I will be (so far) be applying to Whitman College, Syracuse, UConn, Northeastern, maybe PRATT and/or RISD not sure yet)

Thanks so much!

 

[Qupakoco]

Honestly, with a 3.8 GPA you'll probably be golden if you just sneeze on the paper.

Sounds like an interesting choice though. I'd say you should focus on the tactical thinking that it's taught you and the statistical analyses that it inherently promotes. You know how to organize a list, play to it's strengths and mitigate it's weaknesses, predict the plan of your competitor, determine if the odds are in your favor, etc... Stuff like that is more of what they will want to hear.

If you limit your scope the 650 words will come out a lot easier. It's easy to get bogged down trying to link thoughts together and the reader might not follow very well. You wrote a 529 word essay in this post. Your message was clear, organized, and easy to understand.

As your teacher wisely said:

-don't write a resume describing your accomplishments but rather use them to support your essay's focus.

You already have quite a list of accomplishments with being the Lacrosse Captain and a 3.8 GPA. Think that makes you tactical? Able to prioritize tasks to maximize effectiveness? Eh? Eh? See where this is going?

-get strait to the point and make sure what you write about, describes you.

Yes. YOU. Not your friends or how awkward it is to describe Warhammer to your cousin (which we all know it is).



ALSO!! Small secret... Admissions Officers likely wont read past your first paragraph. They go through thousands of those letters each year. You gotta pull them in right away somehow. Nice paper, good spacing, text placement on the page, stuff like that. Make them WANT to read the paper cause it looks so nice. Sign it with a nice pen in black ink too.

EDIT: You probably should link this to your degree choice somehow.

 

[E_Ran358]

Thanks so much for the feedback!
Well, its a 3.3 unweighted so B-ish, so fingers crossed!
Yes, I could definitely see how the focus of my described essay could turn into something about someone else, thanks!
If they really do read only the first paragraph maybe I should just hook them with a rhetorical narrative on how my ancient steg with sharpened horns smashed a frost phoenix on the charge the other day.... THAT'LL GET EM'.

Much appreciated!