1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Contest July-August 2020 Short Story Contest Reading Thread

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Aug 3, 2020.

?

Which story or stories do you like best (you may vote for up to two)

Poll closed Aug 31, 2020.
  1. Story One: "Engine of Chotec"

    1 vote(s)
    9.1%
  2. Story Two: "A Kroxigor's Dream"

    3 vote(s)
    27.3%
  3. Story Three: "The Long Game"

    2 vote(s)
    18.2%
  4. Story Four: "Getting Ahead in the Railroad Business"

    2 vote(s)
    18.2%
  5. Story Five: "The Machine"

    5 vote(s)
    45.5%
  6. Story Six: "The Knowledge of Tlaxtlan"

    4 vote(s)
    36.4%
  7. Story Seven: "Wrapped and Seated"

    2 vote(s)
    18.2%
  8. Story Eight: "Of Scales and Sigmarite"

    2 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    628
    Likes Received:
    2,015
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Sorry, been a real struggle to find the time and motivation. :p


    Story Five: This is why you put an auto-shut off function on your killbots. That was still kinda hilarious how the order to kill the Slann was transmitted though.

    I have to hand it to the author; they really pulled off a great duo act with T’lozii and Atamai. The straight and exasperated lizardman to the mad genius skink, it is readily clear that the two have had all too many hijinks that have likely risen T’lozii’s blood pressure way too high.

    That the robot instead met a group of hapless Eshinites before getting the chance to kill the Slann was a stroke of unbelievable luck. Sure it would have been fairly funny to have the Slann get some kind of vision of him being the frog in the juicer this time and detonating a chunk of the temple, but it fitted more of the narrative for it to be a lucky escape for our duo. Unless of course this was all planned by the fates e.t.c. (maybe the next story is feeding into this one...) In any case a very enjoyable read!

    R4-T2Y (Robotic Space Knight/User of a faulty Vocal Unit) : +++ FRIEND Y’TTAR! THIS DOTH APPEAR TO BE A WORTHY FOE CAST IN IRON! I THANK THEE FOR THIS GLIMPSE AND TO CONSIDER MINE STYLE OF COMBAT IN CONTRAST! +++


    Story Six: Well that was depressing.

    So pacing felt just perfect for this piece, there wasn’t really any action and yet the author kept me easily engaged. The concept of a predicted future set in stone is an old one but I think the author pulled it off very nicely.

    In a universe where there’s a literal Chaos God that’s all about changing the webs of fate and future, it was a little funny to me that these priests had accepted their inability to alter the path of the future from their prophecies. Though I guess it comes down to how infallible and precise the actual astromancy was, given it was to the second with some of Forst’s predictions, maybe there was really too little room for a prophecy to occur but not as originally thought (i.e. a Skaven is prophesized to destroy Tlaxtlan, he destroys a marker stone with the city’s name on it e.t.c.)

    But yeah, it was a very fun and dark take on the cost of knowledge.

    Cymbry Hazzian (Astropath Ascendant/Pianist) : “Aww, you got me the sad one. Ok, I have used the God-Emperor of Mankind’s Tarot a few times and have once or twice seen echoes of the future (despite my lack of physical eyes. *laughs*) I am no specialist (minds are more my thing) but the skein of actions within time is interesting. I have heard many stories of those that try to prevent a future from occurring only to cause it through their actions. Is it possible to change what will be? ...Maybe...though if you do succeed was it from yourself or the whims of something else? Yeah, erm I’m going to stick to minds.”


    Story Seven: That was a very brave decision to write from a serious POV of the mysterious and arguably unknowable Old Ones. Kudos where kudos is due.

    I fear dear Y’ttar is not so familiar with your scale-thing lore to have fully gotten what occurred in this piece. I assumed it was covering Kroak’s sacrifice, mummification, and Uxmac is able to interfere and have a vessel to effectively act through? Correct me if I am wrong and thirteen apologies if so.

    All in all it was a very interesting subject for a piece and I think the author pulled off quite the tale despite the challenge. Perhaps as Scalenex said, the Old Ones could have had more of their characters portrayed, maybe give a visual or audible effect similar to the animals some of them have been linked to or something to that effect?

    Sliv Saltbeak (Avian former pirate/Doctor/Priest) : “Hoy. Thar Gods move in way we mortals can nay comprehend, ta thar point where ye wonder if ye ever had any choice at all. Perhaps it be for thar greater good (Craa: “The greater good”) but what about us?”


    Story Eight: Oh hey, an Age of Sigmar piece...wait...was this the only AoS in this whole compy?! Huh.

    Ahem. So Skaven mech suits vs one of Sigmar’s goldenbois and some kind of assassin lizard...it was kinda hilarious that the Skaven was the most mortal and least expendable of them! The Engineers parts I think were easily the best, even though he only has one line of audible dialogue. I feel the author could have made more of his name, for example when he bit his tail you could have mentioned him hissing in agony as his screw for a fang bit too deeply.

    The ending was curious and I wish the author had established more of it earlier. The Saurus appears to view himself as an instrument of death, all that matters is the mission, no ifs no buts. The Stormcast meanwhile (and I wonder if the author named her from Morr or the Morrigan or any other death/war figure) seems to be willing to use the technology for the betterment of mankind despite how this probably would be a terrible idea. A kinda idealistic hope vs cold pragmatism. And yet there was a moment something seemed to slip in the Saurus...I wish there was more on it.

    Warlock Engineer Tkull (Corrosive paint sales-rat/inventor of a drill for seeds/exile from Skryre for inventing a drill for seeds) : “By thar Horned Rat...where do I even begin-start?! Ye scent-see...this wee wannabe engie was an idiot-meat of thar first degree. Isnae rocket science (and I do like-like a good doomrocket, ye ken) tae put in safeguards tae yer doom-doom machine of doomed doom-doom so that thar scaley gits nae ruin-wreck it with ease! If ye’ve got that many-many blind spots...reroute some of thar power fer an electrical charge-thing on yer hull. Not only does it stop-slay thar gits from pull-pulling out wires, it also relieves ye engine-thing from accumulatin’ too much power. Ye noo...that screwy-fang had it coming.”
     
  2. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

    Messages:
    10,293
    Likes Received:
    18,313
    Trophy Points:
    113
    No. Not too long before the contest there was a discussion about Kroak's mummified Skink attendant. Who was the Skink attendant? Why did they bother mummifying the Skink attendant? Why not give Kroak a living attendant? Does the little Skink mummy have any powers?

    I believe the authors vision is that Uxmac's spirit was placed into Kroak's mummy's assistant mummy to keep tabs on him.

    A quick lesson in Old One lore. Uxmac is the messenger god. The Old One's equivalent of Hermes. Uxmac is said to either be the only Old One that never truly left or is predicted to be the first Old One to return. Either way the lore fits with the mummy story.

    There is a lot of lore open to interpretation for Uxmac. Unlikely most of the rest of the Old Ones, Uxmac does not have magical items or sacred spawnings in his name.



    In other news, the town in which I live is a literal disaster area. I have been staying with my mother for about ten days but I have recently returned home.

    Clan Moulder and Father Nurgle were battling for control of what used to be my refrigerator. Me and my friend entered battle to reclaim what was mine.

    [​IMG]

    I have power and water in my apartment building, 91% of my town has power now, but only about 20% of my town has WiFi (I'm borrowing a friend's WiFi right now). The workers are still focused on clearing the roads and restoring electricity (and providing hot meals and ice to those without power), so restoring Internet is not a huge priority.

    In short, my access to the Internet is haphazard at best.

    You may have to deal with me announcing the winner of the contests and author identities late.
     
  3. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    11,125
    Likes Received:
    23,835
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Totaly fine with me. Keep save and keep healthy!

    The contest can wait

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
    Lizards of Renown likes this.
  4. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    11,125
    Likes Received:
    23,835
    Trophy Points:
    113
    It is very close on top at the moment. Please Keep voting to make a diference :)

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  5. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Hmmmmm.... The thread seems to have died...

    No other votes? It could change the outcome as the two leaders are neck and neck...
     
    Imrahil likes this.
  6. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    32,866
    Trophy Points:
    113
    8 authors and, up til now, only 10 voters.
    One of the voters who isn't also an author it's me.
    Kinda depressing... :(
     
    Imrahil likes this.
  7. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    11,125
    Likes Received:
    23,835
    Trophy Points:
    113
    That kind of is sad...
    Perhapse this is a trend in the Summer edition? I am not sure, because I only recently are paying attention to the short Stories.

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  8. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Yeah, it is....

    We need a better hook to capture attention for the contest. Up to now my idea had been to always have at least one message displaying on the home screen on the status messages, but it goes stagnant very quickly.

    Any ideas anyone on how to capture more interest?
     
    Imrahil likes this.
  9. Paradoxical Pacifism
    Skink Chief

    Paradoxical Pacifism Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,632
    Likes Received:
    3,383
    Trophy Points:
    113
    more reviews :pigeon:
     
    Scalenex and Imrahil like this.
  10. Paul1748
    Saurus

    Paul1748 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    378
    Trophy Points:
    53
    There is more than a thousand of views on this thread, and only 10 voters.
    How is this possible ?
     
    Lizards of Renown and Imrahil like this.
  11. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I think you might be onto something... Maybe we need to make it clear at the top that ANYONE can vote, not just the participants...

    What do you reckon @Scalenex ?
     
    Imrahil and Paul1748 like this.
  12. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    628
    Likes Received:
    2,015
    Trophy Points:
    93
    To be fair most of them are probably us or guests/bots :p

    Well do any of you chaps have any views on the pieces yourselves?
     
    Lizards of Renown likes this.
  13. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I find myself unable to give my piece an impartial review... :( so can't do this while the competition is going. Sorry.
     
    Imrahil likes this.
  14. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    628
    Likes Received:
    2,015
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Yeah, reviewing my own for this one was both very easy and very hard. It's a challenge not to poke holes in your piece as well as not give away which one was yours. So aye, fair nuff...though I expect post-reviews! :p
     
    Imrahil and Lizards of Renown like this.
  15. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I'm pretty sure that Killer Angel is going to peer-pressure me into them anyways ( ;) ) so yes, for sure after.
     
    Imrahil and Killer Angel like this.
  16. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    32,866
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Don't know what, but we'll think to something
     
    Imrahil and Lizards of Renown like this.
  17. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    32,866
    Trophy Points:
    113
    With this moral burden upon my shoulders, i humbly present you:
    The brief and unsatisfying analysis by Killer Angel

    August is a horrible period (for me) to find the time for a real review. It's easier when i'm working.
    So, i will talk just a little about the stories, and more about the main feature of them: the theme.

    The Engine of Chotec.
    The idea itself is pretty cool, and the final image of the cibersaurus riding a Dread Saurian, furtherly empowered by an artefact of the Old Ones, is a great image.
    I fear there's little idenfitication between the reader and the protagonist, which could explain the position of the story in the pool. A pity, because the struggle of the wounded saurus was very well depicted.
    The Theme: it is decisely covered by the story, so it's good. It's not a new tech per se, and it's more a magical device (or anyway, when tech is sufficiently advanced, it seems magic), but i liked it. I could have voted for it.

    A Kroxigor Dream.
    Solid story, unusual theme, featuring a kroxigor with a very mysterious past (to say the least), then a weird friendship between kroxigors, with action driven by dreams… dreams and hopes, all shattered in the end.
    A very emotional piece, i can see why it's in the upper positions, however...
    The Theme: is there a technology? A tech advance? Apart to a couple of vague hints to "Xlanhuapec's growing industrious needs" and later a "magical artefact", i fail to see what should be the main theme, so, as much as the story is good (which absolutely is), i couldn't vote for it.

    The Long Game.
    Cool story. The end times, and a transiction not to AoS, but to a much more distant future…. 40k.
    I'm not saying the theme called it, but it was not totally out of the blue. I liked the story very much, especially the first part, with the memories of the protagonist about its losses, and the forced indifference by the skinks (they cannot even respect the suffering of a lone saurus, not when all the future of the lizardmen race is at stake… mourning is a luxury not affordable during the great escape).
    Now lizardmen are really dinosaurs in space, with a weird and high level of technology, so The Theme is 100% on spot.
    But despite the common enemy, i cannot see a (even unspoken) "allegiance" between spacelizard and imperium. Blood will flow.
    I could have voted for this story.

    Getting ahead
    oh men, the pun in the title (after the reading of the story) was BRILLIANT. I could have voted for this, only for that.
    As always (regardless the authors that write them), the stories within the now belowed old west setting, are brilliant, well written and full of humor.
    The Theme: of course there is tech (trains, dynamite…), functional to the story and to the plot resolution. Smartness and tech win over old magic power held by dumb monsters. If i can say something negative about it (can I? i'm just being fussy here), the setting is already enstablished, so it has been an easy route for the author, as tech is already included. I was almost going to vote for this story.

    The Machine.
    By far my fav. piece. The theme is 110% fullfilled, and that alone is a big plus in my book... plus the story is very enjoyable: there's brilliant humor, fast-paced action, dismembered ratmen, a mad but likeable skink inventor, an imperturbable slann, comedy, a frog and an automated fruit juicer…
    It took my vote.

    The knowledge of Tlaxlan.
    To write stories about settled fate is always difficult, but this one does it in a good way, and The Theme it's a central part of the story. Knowledge gave new devices, to further advance said knowledge. But devices brought excessive knowledge and doom to the city.
    It's a cool story, developed in a fascinating way. We breath the sense of apathy and we all foresee the inevitable bad ending. Do we possess a part of the power of Tlaxlan's inhabitants?
    I could have voted for this story.

    Wrapped and Seated.
    Unusual and brilliant piece, intertwined with one of the greatest event in lustrian history…. the fall of Itza and the "rebirth" of Lord Kroak. The Theme is not developed in the story, but it's what takes it to the conclusion. The tech of the Old Ones overcomes (or interacts with) the magic of the skink priest, and the spirit of an Old One (Uxmac, nonetheless) transfers into the undead skink attendant of Lord Kroak. One could wonder how much of the actual power of Kroak is his, or if it's just Uxmac that watches and protects the children of the Old Ones. Brilliant piece, and the choice of Uxmac is perfect.
    It was an original idea and so well thought, that it took my vote.

    Of scales and sigmarite.
    As with "the machine", we have brilliant humor, fast-paced action and dismembered ratmen. All things we like, here on LO.
    The Theme is respected: nothing says that tech advancements must be made by lizardmen (seraphon, in this case) and the advancement has been developed by a skaven scientist… but this kind of attempts at developments, is kinda one of the main feature of skavens, so (as with "getting ahead…"), the author took an easy and already enstablished route with this, albeit the tech is indeed very strong in the story, so it still fits perfectly.
    In the end, the "easy route" doesn't diminish the goodness of the piece, which is a very well written story. I could have voted for it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2020
  18. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

    Messages:
    11,125
    Likes Received:
    23,835
    Trophy Points:
    113
    This is also so true for me:rolleyes:

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
  19. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

    Messages:
    10,293
    Likes Received:
    18,313
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Well the winner is Infinity Turtle! Progress is slow on metadata thread but I'm pretty sure Infinity Turtle has the high percentage of wins. 9 entries, and I believe 4 or 5 victories.

    The DarkFourth maintained his lead for most contest entries having entered 18 of our 23 contests. Me and @Y'ttar Scaletail hold second place with 15.

    Thank you to everyone who entered I enjoyed every piece.

    Story One: "The Engine of Chotec" by @DeathBringer125

    Story Two: "A Kroxigor's Dream" by @Paradoxical Pacifism

    Story Three: "The Long Game" by @Lizards of Renown

    Story Four: "Getting Ahead in the Railroad Business" by Scalenex

    Story Five: "The Machine" by @Infinity Turtle

    Story Six: "The Knowledge of Tlaxtlan" by @thedarkfourth

    Story Seven: "Wrapped and Seated by @Imrahil

    Story Eight: "Of Scales and Sigmarite" by @Y'ttar Scaletail


    I give the Scalenex Cup to a Kroxigor's Dream. The Knowledge of Tlaxtlan and The Long Game had higher body counts but a Kroxigor's Dream had more personal suffering which hit me in the feels.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2020
  20. Lizards of Renown
    Slann

    Lizards of Renown Herald of Creation

    Messages:
    10,817
    Likes Received:
    26,482
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Congrats to @Infinity Turtle for the win!
     
    Infinity Turtle and Imrahil like this.

Share This Page