Story 2 Tunnels
The character in
Rat Poison was obsessed by skaven. I swear the author of of this
is a skaven. I've done a couple of skaven short stories over on the
Under-empire forum, and read a lot more. The author has nailed the mood and speech of these cuddly comedians.
The nasty history of the tunnel, the smell, the mood the panic - well portrayed.
What let me down was the balance at the end. The dialogue and inter skaven interaction was the strongest element, but close to the end it just stopped and got replaced by "The folowing hours are calm.... They're only three of them left now.... devouring Scratch as it goes."
It became a bit of a dry history lesson because it moved away from the rat's perspective. This is another one that I think would be better witha redo and more detail being put into the last section.
This one had a few English Grammar and spelling issues, but the meaning was clear. I also spotted this: "Then doesSsotek closes his jaws..." A clue to the author's identity perhaps?
Don't worry Ssuperman - your ssecret is ssafe with me!"
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