Contest October-November Short Story Contest: and the winner is...

[tom ndege]

Congrats to all! I really enjoyed reading all the stories! (especially on my daily journey to college )

Really had a hard time making up my vote.

 

[Pompusky]

Thank you to everyone, and those who voted my story.
And congratulations to everyone who participated (specially spawning of bob for his victory, and oldblood itzahuan for "the ghosts we have", because it was my favourite of all the 12 stories)... i've seen such beautiful stories here...
Thank you specially to scalenex and spawning bob, for their VERY accurate critique. I must say the story was planned a bit different.

- First of all: I must admit that the traitor kitty was a last moment idea (that happends when your own cat is sitting there, looking at you, as if it was asking itself how did you dare not to pay "him" more attention), but i absolutely loved it and i had to include it, but as happends when something comes up in the last moment, i didn't have enough time to fit it in the story as it deserved... i would have loved to make the cat guilty of indirectly killing those men whithout them knowing it, attracting them to their death in some ways, but i didn't have enough time to think exactly HOW (i started to write the story in the 31th, at 23:00 more or less, after having dinner... and sent it barely 1-2 hours before the deadline that, thanks to the time difference, was 6am for me). So yes, i also wanted the cat to be more "prominent" in the story.
- Second of all: I have to admit that Scalenex was right when he said that in a comment. I absolutely rushed the story as i saw how the limit was approaching. I had to cut down the original party of 10 explorers + the old man, i deleted things at the beginnin,... (there were going to be more "accidental" deaths, including one in the swamplands, a man falling on a log that impaled him, when the kitty jumped to his face and did not let him see anything while he was running... and more of them were going to reach to their "end" at the end of the story) but the deadline was coming (the same as winter) and i started to feel nervous. And having to look up for words that you want to use in the dictionary every two bloody sentences does NOT help!!

I must say that when i have more time, i am going to re-write the story, to make it fully developed, and post it, so that you can read it as i wanted it to be.

 

[Xholankha the lost one]

i wanted to try and base my story of something completely new but i got a bit of insparation from lustria codex 8th edition (good night my sweet lizard . )
and on the theme of storys my crossover is coming out soonish
and thanks to everone who read the story and for the 3 likes
im just waiting for the next contest.
until then
ive got some demons to kill
and some stuff to write

 

[spawning of Bob]

Acceptance Speech (Part 2)

It is a weird feeling, sitting on top of the L-O Temple pyramid. I admit that while I was writing and drawing, I thought "I want to make this / these good enough to win." but that really just related to making sure that the output was of a high enough quality that errors wouldn't drag it down.

In the end, statistically speaking, almost 60% of people put them in their top 1/3! Woo!

Statistics being what they are, I would have liked 5 votes, but that would have just further diluted the goodness.

For the record, my favourites were "The Ghosts We Have" over "In the Serpent's Eye" closely followed by everything.

 

[spawning of Bob]

I promise to stop haunting this thread soon.

I was away during the author reveal so didn't get to respond in depth. The unveiling is my second favourite part of the comp (after first read through). I have offficially given up trying to guess who wrote what - the author group is too dynamic in composition and depth of ability for me to be confident in picking styles.

There is one excsseption, of course - the ever present @Essmir who I am always on the lookout for. Your written English is getting better all the time, but the Viking-does-pillage-and-burn style still sneaks in occasionally. I must stress that it has never got in the way of an entertaining story, and it is a whole bunch better than my Svenska.

I love your drunken longboat story almost as much as I enjoyed tunnels. I picture your proof reader as being an unreliable berserker. Are there photos of the event?. Without bananas?

@Hyperborean What? The skink spoke reikspiel? I didn't even notice. In some stories where lizards have little contact with (living) humans it comes across as a bit odd. In In the Serpents Eye it seems fine, because the lizards have a long production line of sacrifices and clearly have a lot of contact with lesser races.

The problem of inter species communication is worth launching a separate discussion thread - there are heaps of possible solutions, and it would be good if an author could quickly thumb their way through some options when the issue comes up.

The blessing / curse of the short story is that you can't explain everything, but I think even if only the author knows the reason for some detail (like languages) it helps them to write a story which has an integrity even when it is actually full of holes (note: plot holes are not necessarily bad. They are an opportunity for people to think about what they are not explicitly told)

@Bowser You were commendably fast in doing a revision of Rat Poison and posting your own story thread. Then you got the karmic reward of top billing in the Lustriapedia. Well done you! Totally disgusting and disturbing story, though I wonder if writing something peasant and uplifting wouldn't be too much of a stretch next time. (edit - having looked at constellations - probably it is.)

@Oldblood Itzahuan - So glad you appreciated the critiques, not that you needed mine. I maintain that ghosts was one word away from being flawless (was it the Scalenex factor?). I clearly wrote Fear before I bought the Seraphon Battletome and discovered the whole starlight for blood and can appear anywhere with no realmgate required things. Where did you do your research about Seraphon physiology?

@Oxytol You are only 8001? You write very well for a youngster. Imagine how adept you will be when you reach Crowsfoot's age. Of course he will be a relic by then. We are still waiting for that 40k crossover, btw. And I understand that the days of terror are to continue. Goody goody goody.

@DrakisKier 3 people liked your story? I think you would find that everyone with cold blood (or starlight) in their veins liked your story, it's just that a competition is a poor way of getting it across. The non verbal communication was very strongly done. I can just imagine your hero joining a group of chattering skinks like Clint Eastwood walking into a western salon. All conversation and piano playing dies away and the tension instantly mounts. I hope you do more of the terse adventures of Cuezaltzin soon.,

@Trociu You got three votes too? Same mathematical problem as DrakisKier. The written in blood warning, the disgusting experimentation, the desperate flight were all very powerful elements. No problem with your English, BTW. Just like my Polish. Do widzenia!

@Nahualpiltzintli , I swear that cat has too much control over you. You weren't the only one caught out by the dead line, but the pressure didn't stop the story from being a good read. Seeing as how you have confessed that there were other elements you wanted to put in, you know what you must do next. Get rid of the cat. Bulk it out a bit and start your own thread in the fluff forum.


Anyhow, my real reason for posting again was because I thought of a much more terrifying endind to Secrets of the Southlands. The last 2 frames would go like this:

​

Can anyone think of anything more horrifying than that?

 

[Pompusky]

I promise i am doing it, but it will be after the sculpting contest, because i have to take my time and work hard in my miniature. After i do that, i will re-write the story, and complete it

 

[Tziruzitza]

I'm a bit late to the party, I know, but... Wow, 12 excellent stories! Well done, everyone

One complaint, though - with all the great reads here in this little patch of jungle, how am I ever supposed to get any of my own writing done? Didn't think of that, did you, you selfish lot

Seriously, though, awesome stuff - well done to all!

 

[Scolenex]

Can anyone think of anything more horrifying than that?​

​

No, an angry panda is unstoppable. However it's time for me to rotate Avatars and reveal a picture equally ferocious:

Cower before my might!

 

[Bowser]

No, an angry panda is unstoppable. However it's time for me to rotate Avatars and reveal a picture equally ferocious:

Cower before my might!

Well I'm terrified!

 

[spawning of Bob]

​

It occurs to me that @Nahualpiltzintli 's cat would be a fitting inclusion. Do you have a photo?

 

[Pompusky]

I do have more than one photo, of the 3 cats i've at home, but the one that was looking at me was this one

 

[spawning of Bob]

Its OK. I found something far scarier.

 

[Trociu]

Its OK. I found something far scarier.

I think we could manage to make this image a mem used everywhere on the Internet so people could paste other scary things into eye

 

[spawning of Bob]

I think the joke is a bit too niche to go viral, but here is the PNG image of the eye. Use any software that allows you to use layers and just overlay the eye on the retina image you want (the pupil is a hole in the image) http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1024x768q90/905/hr1PLr.png

 

[Killer Angel]

Its OK. I found something far scarier.

How many points will need Bretonnia to field them all?

 

[discomute]

@spawning of Bob can i get clarification if the lizard in the eye was a skink or saurus? i thought skink but based on weapon i think saurus.

 

[spawning of Bob]

Skink priest. Original concept art was a saurus, but I couldn't think of a reason for a saurus to remove a heart neatly. Want me to name him?

 

[discomute]

@spawning of Bob cool. I think i might just call him Ourdoom.